I’m lost in my own house
Memories are painted everywhere
They remind me like painful scabs
That my house was once a home.

I’m lost in my house
Because it feels like you are
Around every corner
But I can’t find you anywhere.

Your absence is everywhere.
It has left wells
Invisible inside each room.
Cold, dry, and hollow, they echo you.

They make me swear
That I can hear you
(your pitter-patter,
or your snoring,
or  your breathing)

They make me swear
That I can still see you
(laid down to nap
on the couch,
or on our bed)

They make me swear
That I can still feel you
(lumped beside my feet,
sprawled on top,
of the covers of our sheets)

The only thing real
The only thing left
Is your scent
That still clings to the blankets

Even with all these empty wells
In all of these empty rooms
I have only one hopeless wish.
Just one little wish.

To find you in our house
To make your way back home.

Bare shoulder,
Kingdom of giggles.
my love grows nobler,
with each caressing nibble.

Coalescing, subterranean dimensions.
Expressing, my loving ascension.

Lips of affection,
my heart is stuck in a parallelogram of contention.
lost in reverie, no hope left for me.

My longest moonlight, pack your things and leave.
All my memories have been shoved into an evanescent dream.
So fly on like a zephyr,
fly on please.

The moxie, the eccentricities,
the lovely retreats.
The embraces, the symphonies,
Take it all,  please.

canvas sky, full of love.
may my body morph into a dove.
i need peace, i need steel.
i need to  rid of all the feels.

Dear Azi, I'm full of broken thoughts.
My insides are like a box of matches.
The moisture from my sorrow, wont allow combustion.

I get up every morning with a tourniquet in my hand,
seeking the self in the vestibule of my childhood.
Your caveats no longer reach me.
But, the sweet carousel of your laughter still does.

Each loss is a new vulnerability.
A subscript, for a long past bludgeon.
The only whisper that still holds,
is the one that tells of your past love for me.

January was never in a hurry, relationships seemed a bit too scary  
February always left me feeling lonely
March left scars and forced me to act needy
April lied and tricked me to fall in love with fools like you
No I actually liked you  
I started Idolizing fantasies
blind to see that it was us who were never meant to be  
May came around and exposed what we pretended to be
June made us lay under covers, and lie that we were lovers
July made you lie that you found another lover
It was me you wanted but couldn't find me
So you looked for me in others
All you found was broken hearts full of scars
Bleeding for your attention, while lacking complete satisfaction  
August had you feeling uncomfortable, heat in your veins
Pain in your seduced membrane, just smile and stay in the main frame
Pretend like you feel no pain
September had you missing me, dancing with your memories
I was love and you acted like you never needed me
October had you feeling lonely, while your soul became empty  
November left your heart feeling colder, while your ego got smaller
In December I was all that you could remember

If this is ain't love,
then what is it?
Just another obsession to reacquaint with?
In the memories of a story long foretold,
in the midst of this dusty storm
,
the sensual feelings I've applied to life

have left me in the blistering cold outside.

Each time we try to comprehend ourselves
,
The constant reminder, of our dark paths,

Become one with the start of our lies and deceit.

Something long forgotten now stands before you
,
as clear as day
,
As clear as the scars revealed upon your face.

In between the lines, you don't choose to read, 

There is something hidden you didn't see.

As you're standing trial for past mistakes,

The sincerity seen, in each look you take.
We know another part of your heart breaks.

At least that's what I think, 

In this twisted mind of mine.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I can feel the ****** tension
I've always said leave
an everlasting first impression
She said I'm taking a step in the right direction
We have such a magnetic connection
You're like my chocolate selection
When you're with me it's perfection
Can you feel the sugar rush darling?
We go together like
lightning and thunder
I love the enchantment we are under

You can smell her perfume scent
in the air
I can taste the salt in her skin  
Feel the passion in her kiss
You're sweet like honey baby
When she puts her hand in mine
It's like will be together
till the end of time

We are star-crossed lovers
In the heat of the night
Encrypted in the stars
In the dark of the night
We wish we may,
we wish with all our might
That we'll spend together forever
As angels in the sky

It's in every breath she makes
It's in every step she takes
That the love we share is made
It's in the way she looks at me
Her bright blue eyes
staring back it seems
Every moment we create
We are just getting deeper & deeper
I know she's a keeper
I trust and adore her
The butterflies grow larger
My heart rate gets faster and faster
The closer she is
The better it is
Because no other girl
Can make me feel like this.

You can smell her perfume scent
in the air
I can taste the salt in her skin  
Feel the passion in her kiss
You're sweet like honey baby
When she puts her hand in mine
It's like will be together
till the end of time

We are star-crossed lovers
In the heat of the night
Encrypted in the stars
In the dark of the night
We wish we may,
we wish with all our might
That we'll spend together forever
As angels in the sky

This is a story of love, passion and lust
You want more,
Can never get enough
She's my addiction, my drug
Eyes as bright as the bluest ocean
She's got my heart exploding
Totally devoted loves overflowing
Blushing cheeks are glowing
Feelings and connections are growing
see the public affection she's showing
I'm her Romeo and she's my Juliet
She's my one and only even in death

You can smell her perfume scent
in the air
I can taste the salt in her skin  
Feel the passion in her kiss
You're sweet like honey baby
When she puts her hand in mine
It's like will be together
till the end of time

We are star-crossed lovers
In the heat of the night
Encrypted in the stars
In the dark of the night
We wish we may,
we wish with all our might
That we'll spend together forever
As angels in the sky

©2017 Written By Benji James

Seeds of sadness,
Planted,
In my ground.
Buds of sorrow,
Sprouted,
In the sand.
Shoots of dysphoria,
Covering,
The land.
Trees of depression,
Growing,
Where I stand.
In the middle of the land,
Sinking in the sand,
Disappearing in the ground.
Bare trees,
Are left,
Unsound.