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 Dec 2016 Melanie Kate
J
I'm haunted by my mistakes
Every word venom in my mouth
they tasted bitter so I spit them out
and they hurt those around me
but I didn't care.

I dyed and cut my hair to play the part
of someone who moved on with an entirely untouched heart
it was blonde, then blue, green, and black
I cut enough off that you'd surely not come back
because you didn't like girls with short hair
I still don't care.

I'm haunted by my actions,
every move a cut deeper in my grave,
I hurt those around me in a viscious, Godly wave
Each time it crashed, I'd apologize, retreat
but would relapse, and get the same rush each time I would repeat
I'm haunted by that thought,
that I changed myself so much this year,
from gaining 40 pounds to starting to drink beer,
but I have not cleaned the cobwebs from my heart,
it's been 9 months and I am still torn apart.
Not from missing you, or heartbreak,
but from the repurcussions of these hideous mistakes,
the summer left those ugly scars that turn blue instead of white,
and I hurt too many people to even try to make it right
I wonder if I'll ever heal,
or change in ways inside,
because my hair is starting to break off,
with everything I use on it to hide
 Dec 2016 Melanie Kate
Lunar
A legend tells
Of a mermaid's kiss
That is able
To remove memories

But as for mine
I only wish
For you to be able
To remember me
Wjh--
Through clear or murky waters
of your drowning memories,
As long as i keep swimming in them,
You won't ever forget me.

Poem inspired by the k-drama Legend of The Blue Sea! It has the mermaid, man, moon, sea concept, and it's my favorite drama, how obvious can it be...
You cannot swim my dear,
Yet you beg the ocean to love you
Then it swallows you whole to the very bottom of its belly
And it's like you were never there
And when new lovers ride his waves
He caresses them with the same blues
He used to crush you
Ill never forget the sickening feeling i got when i watched you try to swallow a handfull of pills.. i quiet literally cried so hard it made me physically sick and everything went black with the thought of you dying... i didnt have the stregnth to stand anymore, i collapsed with the weight of your pain.. im so glad he was there to stop you, because i all i could do was scream with the air that was left in my lungs because trying to take a breath was like trying to breathe under water..  to him i am forever grateful. I dont know what it is  that makes you so hateful.. everything after that seemed so... dark and hopeless. I am forever afraid, if just the thought of you not being here was enough to take the breath right out of me and make my whole world shake with destruction what am i going to do when you really do leave this world..
This poem is for my mom.. maybe one day ill let her read my poems.. she doesnt even know i write. Im so sorry i cant take away your pain...
The flowing water in the dawns mist
Whispers memories of our youthful bliss

Carried away, downstream, endlessly
Into the open arms of a restless sea

This shall be the place we forever rest
Intertwined and woven like the cape weavers nest

Never again to know solidarity
Cradling the life of tomorrow is our apogee
I loved you
Beyond our fleshly passions.
But it only took a second,
When I looked away
For me to lose you
In the sun.
 Dec 2016 Melanie Kate
Sarah
Thighs
 Dec 2016 Melanie Kate
Sarah
Over the last year,
my thighs have started
  to touch.
and every time
I sit
or pass
a mirror or shop,
I'm surprised by who I
see

I wish I had spend more time
loving myself and
the thighs you
passed down
to me.
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