at night the pills hit me
like the wreck of train.

I smile, I recall your face
high as hell, but I remember your name.

I replay your sweet voice,
in my chaotic brain.

love is life for me,
but for you it's just a game.

no, it's not healthy
but it's keeping me sane.

Drinks at day,
pills at night.

it's all that gives me peace,
with them I don't have to fight.

a
tidal wave
beneath
the
soul
but
rings of faith
shall
take control
while
faith
remove
the
islands of fear

I want love-
Not the little love
That makes the
heart skip, and
The face blush.
I want to indulge in the Love
That ignites the Spirit

The love that fills all voids,
Heals all grievances,
And
has no boundaries,
No limits,
And
no preconceived notions.

I want the love
That is contagious by presence.
The love that
eradicates insecurities
And replaces them with ecstasy,
I want the kind of love
That sets people free.

I don't want the love
That beats around the bush.
I want the love that
bangs
down my door,
Sets my heart
a blaze,
And keeps
fueling
the fire.

At night I'm filled with dread
morning comes and I refuse to leave my bed.
The world is crazy
but danger lives in my head.
I'm afraid of life,
but terrified of the thought of being dead.
This cycle of no peace
is really getting to me.
If my savoir can't help,
neither can this **** poetry.

Today I had three dates.

One was pretty,
the other needy,
the last greedy.

I did not get to see any.

I am not sure if I have any love left in me.
So, until then I am going to stay away.
But soon my lovers, I'll have more lies to tell, more flattery to say.

my nostrils burn
with the scent of poison

poison that burns my lips
and my lungs...

I only want peace.
I only want fun.

I pray. I stretch...
all that inner peace mess,
still nothing.

Now my insides are burning,
burning from the smoke I inhale
cigarettes are a taste of hell.

I feel myself growing small
as my problems shrink into the
darkness of my pitiful soul,

drowning away s    l   o    w   l    y    by this alcohol.

Endlessly, relentlessly, you make
haste by unbroken parable, cry
incense incensed, censure me, call
names of the unjust, we’re unjust, there’s
unbroken like fish and bread in
multitudes, swing low and wide on
fingertips that have never known bare
skin the way I have known
yours, chariots lost on pharoah’s
feet and dying prodigals covering
little ground.

Calling him, you came like
waves on shore parting for
boat hulls, licking up
starboard side thirsty for
purpose, raising church in three
days making metaphor into
matter, I met you halfway, holding staff
still dripping crimson on toes that
hadn’t yet touched the sea.
We made miracles.

I’ve yet to find contentment among
tents pitched forty days
ago, dusted in sugar burning
tongues too used to manna, leaning
‘against winds that
whisper designs o'er mount Sinai,
whisper Pontius Pilate condemnation,
whisper platitudes Peter proclaimed
before **** crowed thrice.
Crucify us.
We don’t dare step down.
Raise us.
We’ve yet to sin.