Whereby yours truly presages and doth abhor
nothing short of an imminent civil war
dwarfing insurrection on January 6, 2021
oddly enough even reducing
ordinary decibels to a mute whisper
madding crowd trumpeting cacophony of ˈthȯr
drowning out sense and sensibility
allowing, enabling, and providing
golden opportunity for anarchy to run rampant
one issuing, earthshaking, and booming
as one collective soul with pride

against prejudice queercore
amidst pandemonium of lawlessness
voices at the forefront ear splitting din
most all social media platforms
buzzfeeding, jump/kickstarting,
and twittering bigotry,
gender inequity, and misogyny nevermore
gender diversity celebrated
reveling harmoniously think
arranged marriage of Kokila and Kishore
parents (most likely deceased)

of Menil and Amit,
one former best high school buddy
with my youngest sister Shari Todd
for most of her sixty three years an herbivore,
and in most respects the antithesis of Eeyore,
(a pessimistic, gloomy, depressed,
anhedonic, old grey stuffed donkey
and friend of title character, Winnie-the-Pooh),
the former would never stand a chance stayin alive
during the reign of brontosaur,
and other so called terrible lizards.

Aforementioned fatalistic political forecast
would translate as absolute zero freedoms
as entrusted with Declaration of Independence,
and Constitution, which incendiary rhetoric
already trumpeted courtesy Republican
dictator wannabe, who will eviscerate
any and all social progressive policies
would essentially leave a **** government
devoid of recognizable Democratic polity.

Lemme plagiarize myself
and express sardonic wit
alliteration with the letter "R,"
I gleefully, playfully, and zestfully transmit
the following poem,
the proto antagonist
will nary even garner an obit
no dead giveaway signs
only brave hearts pointing *******
subtly signaling welcome
to the black parade, the sole intermit
where gewgaws (trolls)
with orange hair sold.

revealing Ronald **** revisited.

Regarding ridiculous rhymeless
ruminative rhythm rankles readers.

Repugnant racist Republican reviled -
rickettsia re:itch ruler
rapaciously ravaged
revered reverential rubric
radical ruthless renegade
rapidly riotously rips rigged ramparts
Refrains retaining remnant
redolent regal, resplendent rafters
riches rudely rupture rooted rectified rights
ruckus ricochets revenant reign
ratified rattlebrained rules roil reductionism.
rumbustious rapscallions rollick;
render ruinous ramifications
rusty razor razing revenge rents reprisal.

Rabid ****** rictus
rotten rebrands re-calibrate.
rambunctious revolutionaries rejoice.
ruffians ride roughshod
routing reigning royalty.

Reiterate revetting robust recidivist rationality
rides Rolls Royce
relentlessly rendering rock ribbing.

Riffraff raconteur raise reactionary response
revisit rancorous restrictive
redlined realigned rightward rivets
Robocop ridiculously
rubber-stamped reorganization
recalcitrant reactors release rapture
rash Russian roulette reconnaissance
raconteurs rack rubles.

Red room reflects Republican RNA.
rap risible rheumy ratiocinated
rug-rats revoke righteous refulgent repertory
rapier robed robbers
ransack reliquary resounding retaliation
retaliatory redcoat regnum
reformation rightly remembered
Rudy robotically recoiling rapprochement
Raison d'être rosily revered
rifled relics raffled
rookie raves ripe rackful
rubenesque reliably ranked
refulgent rotundity requisite
requirement re: reappointment
road-tested, roadworthy
redeem reapportion routed role.

Reprehensible reassignment
rapidly recognizes response
rife rampage removes respectability
responsible roused restitution refuted
risky resultant reconnoitering runaway
railroad reverberates rivalry.

Reflexive ramrod reaction
reconfirms redoubling ridding revitalization
reconfiguration realpolitik reinstates repudiation;
Rebooting Roosevelt regime reconsidered.

Requisition requires resilient reseeding republic
regrettable riley roars remorseless ribbing
rare recount restoring recondite
renown reprobate Rapunzel.

Republican representatives
rejoice reclaiming reins
registering ******* romantic remains
re: Rastafarian revered reliquary rests!

May today bring unbridled bliss
delivered courtesy sunshine kissed
giving Midas a run for his money.

When the last trace of night
evaporates analogous to milky hue,
whereat a dreamy state
pervades thy being from tropical delight
as  approach of Dawn
highlights morning landscape Gaia drew
ah, a paradise
in pristine majestic light
arced, bathed, chiseled displayed
described, elongated, fingered gilt
heraldic imagery joyfully

kindling luminosity
markedly novel picture
quintessentially resplendent
sedating this ubiquitous voyager
waking xing vision
yawning zealot acquiesces
bounteous chimerical dalliance
betwixt Goddess delivering break of day
against defeated quotidian
celestial vault, where Mithras dethroned

the capriciously finicky
inky beleaguered darkly crest
etched fading faux French Gendarmes
into humongous jagged lances
endowing sinosoidal amplitude
modulations nudging raiment
donned by trumpeting requiem,
quiescent pronouncement
obliging new morning laminating,
kneading, and jettisoning

remnant shreds twilight
understood voicing willingness
Xerxes yeomen paid tribute
as did preceding and subsequent
captivating Earthlinked
fighting globe trotters held hostage
upon thee third rock from the sun
straddling an invisible saddle
which oblate spheroid
forfeited, manacled, and pitched
tarry sky (vis a vis feathery touch)

as one more ordinary day
wrested, tussled, and quickened
nocturnal nod toward solar spears
betook the reluctant
wrap of blackest night soundlessly forcing
transient ******* (overruling
the cerulean skies) until
dark shadows prefacing the edge of night
once again admirably, willingly,
and unequivocally surrendered  

a fair pact to take solace
whence the morrow allowed, enabled
and provided a ray of shining hope
(every now and again eclipsed)
via the Lunar trajectory
coinciding with axis
when spatial relations
commandeered thru cosmic consciousness
dictating gambit heft
forging atypical sliver of night

before cosmological laissez faire
retreated into the back round,
a universal choreographer
envisioning, insinuating,
maintaining quirkiness  
until recapitulation
sans astronomers predicted future
trio of heavenly bodies
would be aligned bedazzling Primates
access to espy Corona of the sun.

After mine wife
asks for this, that
or something else rife
with intent to provide barrel of laughs,
(likened to barrel of monkeys)
yours truly crafts
description how we share mirth

validating how our respective worth
matters each to the other acting childlike
to stave off altercations
that might come down figurative pike
worst case scenario whereby I strike
mine steadfast fine companion.

Neither rules nor regulations exist
to our made up silly game
whereby whenever
one of us knowingly reaches out
to latch hold of desired item
specified by name,
the other person feigns to hand over
then pulls back same
alluded to object

held aloft (think
non verbal teasing banter)
said motions sustained
moments before until...
participant/ recipient
(trying in vain to grab
their coveted cherished
jackknifed prized possession)
becomes angry as raging bull.

Ofttimes when I pretend to surrender
that specific something sought after
by her royal highness prefers advanced version,
she doth lapse into her guttural patois,
which scrambled, throttled, and vocalized
(back of the throat utterances)

metrically syncopated
(couching unspoken) unclear clues
her primal wordless request
vaguely analogous
to decipher cryptograms,
whereby, I learned to look for patterns.

Yesteryear selective pastimes
whiling away hours
included many a cognitively
challenging endeavors
comprising decoding enigmatic
intriguing looking English language riddles
located within entertainment section
of The Philadelphia Inquirer

no I could never solve sudoku,
but eldest daughter (Eden Liat -
yea "star student" who matriculated
and graduated summa *** laude
courtesy University of Pennsylvania
breezed thru those logic-based,
combinatorial number-placement puzzle.

How bland a marriage devoid of non
establishmentarian activities, none
of which include physical intimacy,
cuz me libido went south linkedin
with half dozen plus medications

yours truly readily swallows
prescribed medication to alleviate
mental health issues such as:
anxiety, obsessive compulsive behavior,
palmar hyperhidrosis,
mild depression et alia.

(similar physiological phenomena
affected yours truly
exactly one year ago),
yet nevertheless hunger,
not only for victuals
but peace on Earth
and goodwill to all men,
women, children, animals,
plants, et cetera

Mine corporeal complex edifice
unleashes convulsions of anxiety
less so regarding mine kampf,
one paltry existence among bajillions
of **** sapiens, but rather
indiscriminate violence of war.

Wanton aggression unleashed
upon defenceless civilians
caught in the crosshairs
of abhorrent, indignant, repugnant...
pillaging, ******, trespassing,
violating, xing sacrosanct boundaries
against humble people.

Said encroachment upon Ukraine
major reason lack of appetite
prevails to savor even smallest bite
unlike Pavlov's dog,
I neither salivate nor excite
at prospect (parking) body
against table not low but fahrenheit
unfair punishment fates did indict,
whereby yours truly decreed
to suffer wraith inflicted

akin to ghastly revengeful Jacobite
asitia struck with vengeance
sucker punched pit of stomach
with furious dog forsaken might
unsavory predicament figuratively
eating away me passion
to relish comestibles day and night,
hence feeble effort to craft poem quite
lame rhyming for no reason right?

Yours truly cannot remember,
how many days, weeks, months... ago
elapsed, whereby with voraciousness I ate
(above mentioned statement veracious -
food for thought) I plainly communicate
hoop fully buzzfeeding, dishing out quandary

in fortified effort to elucidate
thee dear anonymous reader great
if newfound (albeit tenuous) intrigue
awoke courtesy mine artful ruse to initiate
reciprocity, cuz regret iz the stealer of joy
thus verbally athletic, cryptic, enigmatic,

generic, idiotic, kinetic, magnetic, opportunistic
quixotic, solipsistic (ha) troubadour
who heartily hales within
southeastern keystone-state
dares himself to reach out across cyberspace
in an cautiously optimistic effort to mitigate

and extend his metaphorical (albeit empty) plate
maintaining netiquette, an amorphous,
yeah flirtatious nebulous groovy savoir faire,
which mine body, mind, spirit triage
suddenly seems restoration of natural craving
toward sustenance doth oscillate.

What relief long starved taste buds to appease
cuz methought (courtesy obsessive compulsive
worst case scenario catastrophizing)
one garden variety guy
acquired some generic disease
A deep sigh of relief he dryly heaves!

Mine corporeal complex edifice
unleashes convulsions of anxiety.

Lack of appetite
to savor even smallest bite
unlike Pavlov's dog,
I neither salivate nor excite
at prospect (parking) body
against table not low but fahrenheit
unfair punishment fates did indict,
whereby yours truly decreed
to suffer wraith inflicted

akin to ghastly revengeful Jacobite
asitia struck with vengeance
sucker punched pit of stomach
with furious dog forsaken might
unsavory predicament figuratively
eating away me passion
to relish comestibles day and night,
hence feeble effort to craft poem quite
lame rhyming for no reason right?

Yours truly cannot remember,
how many days, weeks, months... ago
elapsed, whereby with voraciousness I ate
(above mentioned statement veracious -
food for thought) I plainly communicate
hoop fully buzzfeeding, dishing out quandary

in fortified effort to elucidate
thee dear anonymous reader great
if newfound (albeit tenuous) intrigue
awoke courtesy mine artful ruse to initiate
reciprocity, cuz regret iz the stealer of joy
thus verbally athletic, cryptic, enigmatic,

generic, idiotic, kinetic, magnetic, opportunistic
quixotic, solipsistic (ha) troubadour
who heartily hales within
southeastern keystone-state
dares himself to reach out across cyberspace
in an cautiously optimistic effort to mitigate

and extend his metaphorical (albeit empty) plate
maintaining netiquette, an amorphous,
yeah flirtatious nebulous groovy savoir faire,
which mine body, mind, spirit triage
suddenly seems restoration of natural craving
toward sustenance doth oscillate.

What relief long starved taste buds to appease
cuz methought (courtesy obsessive compulsive
worst case scenario catastrophizing)
one garden variety guy
acquired some generic disease.

As a bouncing baby boy
syne of tragic travails in the offing tolled
courtesy analogous bell think Pavlov's employ;
yours truly me mama's apron strings rolled
secure around stubby fingers brought joy
created and garnered webbed wold
between she who helped beget me thru ploy
constituting biological reproduction.

Peter Pan syndrome
not recognized as bonafide diagnosis
encapsulates mein kampf and hard times,
whereby mine childhood's end
dreaded, linkedin and thwarted adulthood
courtesy Anorexia nervosa
(long before said illness
the popular rage
during roaring (2000) twenties

mainly among females)
as feeble attempt to avoid
transitioning into manhood
evidenced today upon
cusp of twilight (zone) years,
when dark shadows (albeit psychological)
metaphorically house these lovely bones
id est twenty first century caveman
with stunted body, mind and spirit.

I feel invisibly chained
to mine early days of yore,
an idealized stage since nostalgia tore
at short lived mettlesome breastplate
activating devastating - festering civil war
leaving seeds of potential emasculation
these approximate three score
years since exiting birth canal,
when both parents in their prime
tickled pink and enthralled
with choice of lifelong paramour.

Renee Cardone therapist
associated with SpringFord school district
doxyme portal allows, enables,
and provides telemedicine
cited how I, a long haired
pencil necked geek aging baby boomer
essentially lives marginal existence
self, constricted, hobbled, quarantined...
since... majority of half dozen plus decades
brought forth upon terrestrial firmament
circumscribing outer limits,
when on January 13th, 19xx

one strong contraction
I ain't kidding ousted
future adverbial, he/him one wily wordsmith
makes period **** exclamation,
viz noun sensible, proverbial...,
who dangled me like a participle,
(hence obstetrician put the scare
of wuthering heights
within yours truly)
well seasoned whippersnapper,
who frolicked in summer re:
amidst the purple rain.

entrapped within webbed wide world
weft as a **** pulled stilts skein
at warp speed exhibiting
my heroic trumpian wiles
cuz he (johnny come lately) a then
exemplary hedonist, narcissist,
and polygamist dons
comical, farcical, illogical, lunatical...
offal dolled up endearing guise,
when inconvenient truth broached

particularly determining paternity,
no matter countless progeny sport windblown
swiftly tailored mimicked
matted coiffure of mine
resembling hirsute trademark
of appalling though
revered forty fifth president,
nevertheless harried hair styles
in tandem with fabrications riles
the madding crowd - myself included

into frenzied ******* state,
no matter yours truly upholds
voluntary penitential platonic
marital modus operandi
suddenly as one celibate sexagenarian
absent physical *******
intolerable as hemorrhoids or piles
analogous to flat footed
yardbird schlepping miles
joining the long line of exiles.

Vice president of United states
gifted with maiden name Harris,
whose surname same as mine
one I feel like a proud boy to profess,
cuz ma late polymath
papa jack of all trades
self taught handyman skills
as an A1 roofer who repaired
and raised the entire roof
from stem to stern

never contracted shingles,
nor did his prodigal son - yours truly - me
experience the bane of painful rash
that can appear as a stripe of blisters
that wraps around the side of the torso
and caused by varicella-zoster virus (VZV),
the same virus that causes chickenpox,
hence Preparation H
best over the counter ideal balm
to ameliorate painful ****** itch

and thwart bummed out uneasiness,
enjoying consummated adultery
avoiding using uncomfortable prophylactics
(prickly prohibited topic dejure)
though riding *******
doth severely aggravate,
complicate, impregnate, and vitiate
surrogate domestic policy
putting a modern spin
on Anna and the King of Siam

with intent to create aery vision of utopia,
where videre licet barenaked ladies
essentially gamely frolic
in the autumn mist
fomenting one after another
to tease out rock ribbed ready *******
with premature ******* for excitation
Harum-scarum fidelity be ******
bordello supplants "city on a hill"
buzzfeeding ******* bunnies

with fourteen carrots to squire
then politely escort each
to their respective boudoir
in a blatant, explicit effort
to foster and grow caliphate
at the expense of electorate qualm
impossible mission to keep
brood of squired earthlings in the balance
portends especial ominous nightmare
if Project 2025 implemented

also known as
the 2025 Presidential Transition Project,
constitutes a political initiative
published by the Heritage Foundation
that aims to promote conservative
and right-wing policies
to reshape the United States federal government
and consolidate executive power
if the Republican candidate
garners majority of votes

making first day on the Somme
feel like kindergarten tussle
as anarchy rears up across
United States of America
pitting (olive him nonetheless) despicable
unnamed despot wannabe
analogous courtesy unsettled Leviathan
surfacing from the deep cyber sea
against cherished inalienable
constitutional rights buoying

the land of the free
and home of the brave
renting the country asunder,
with incendiary vitriolic rhetoric,
which similar fate befell Vietnam
thanks be partially
to hydrogenated, and promulgated
American foreign policy.
as highlighted below
to recaptcha wretched colonialism.

The (shameful – my input) about United States' foreign policy in Vietnam was shaped by several factors, including the Domino Theory, the Vietnam War, and the legacy of the war:

The Domino Theory
The U.S. foreign policy after World War II was based on the idea that if one country fell to Communism, the surrounding countries would follow, like dominoes.

The Vietnam War
The U.S. supported South Vietnam against North Vietnam, and fought in the war directly. The U.S. trained and assisted South Vietnamese forces, and conducted ground operations, river and canal patrols, and more. The war was costly and divisive, with estimates of over 3 million Vietnamese deaths and around 58,318 American deaths.

The legacy of the war
After the war, the U.S. imposed a trade embargo on Vietnam and severed ties with the country. The U.S. believed that Vietnam had violated the Paris Peace Accords and had not accounted for American prisoners of war. The embargo lasted until 1994.

Normalizing relations
In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton began normalizing diplomatic relations with Vietnam. Today, the U.S. and Vietnam have a relationship that includes maritime security assistance, and partnerships between Vietnamese universities and U.S. higher education institutions. 

The United States' foreign policy in Vietnam was shaped by several factors, including the Domino Theory, the Vietnam War, and the legacy of the war:

The Domino Theory
The U.S. foreign policy after World War II was based on the idea that if one country fell to Communism, the surrounding countries would follow, like dominoes.

The Vietnam War
The U.S. supported South Vietnam against North Vietnam, and fought in the war directly. The U.S. trained and assisted South Vietnamese forces, and conducted ground operations, river and canal patrols, and more. The war was costly and divisive, with estimates of over 3 million Vietnamese deaths and around 58,318 American deaths.

The legacy of the war
After the war, the U.S. imposed a trade embargo on Vietnam and severed ties with the country. The U.S. believed that Vietnam had violated the Paris Peace Accords and had not accounted for American prisoners of war. The embargo lasted until 1994.

Normalizing relations
In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton began normalizing diplomatic relations with Vietnam. Today, the U.S. and Vietnam have a relationship that includes maritime security assistance, and partnerships between Vietnamese universities and U.S. higher education institutions.

Before concluding this poem,
I wanna hammer home,
and nail laughable
personal misperception of
suspecting that roofers
specifically plagued with shingles
constituted from the following materials.

Asphalt: A traditional choice
for homeowners, asphalt shingles
made from a fiberglass or paper mat
covered in tar and granules.

Composite: These synthetic shingles
made from a combination of materials,
including recycled materials,
slate, laminate, and wood.

Wood: Wood shingles and shakes
made from logs of trees like Western Red Cedar,
Cypress, pine, or Redwood.

Some pieces are treated
with preservatives or fire retardants.

Post mortem courtesy
Doctor Demento yielded
Lady Liberty lies slain...
videre licet knocked senseless
from brutal blows upon her crown
simultaneously shouldering existential crisis
triggered nervous breakdown
though rendered mute
sound of silence doth expound.

Forsooth impeachment hearings
rendered him immune
to chastisement, insurrection
he did foment, blithely
skirting impairment appertain
blood on hands of
self important president,
though alcohol he doth abstain,
nonetheless permanent drunken stupor
doth wax and wain

finger of guilt
damaging democracy points
to him as chief villain
groomed since... time immemorial
atavistic primate brain
bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)
buzzfeeding chosen favored heir
go for broke – as a red badge of courage
bankrupt countless times
and pulled out all stops,

viz unbridled thundering,
espousing philosophy gain
amass wealth, unscrupulous
if necessary where,
might equals right cold play'n
deadly serious game (Life) train
sight squarely and/or roundly
scattered lovely bones
amidst tombstones testimony
incidental secondary fallout main

part and parcel, where legerdemain,
plus art of the deal linkedin
with immeasurable gloating
ego necessary to gain
con fetter writ oligarchy plain
successfully cheating, hocking,
milking, quaffing, and trending,
yielding dynastic rule
trumpeting eternal and carnal
stormy Daniels reign

vaping with wealthy
zealotry (think vain)
at electorate expense
tampering koolaid acid test
courtesy illegals sown GMO grain
colluding when/where possible,
never losing sight regarding
selfish mission to attain
obligatory ideal tyranny
rampantly running roughshod,

no need to explain
writing sleight underhanded profane
antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain
badgering, belittling, besmirching,
bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain
flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,
regarding purported B.S. degree
in economics he did attain
matriculating Wharton School of law,
hmm... methinks he paid

hireling from Ukraine
forever flirting, flouting, and flunking
even basic geography questions
case in point being
where is Drury Lane
additionally, he ain't
no literati familiar
storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.

If ye benevolent reader count yourself as a wise married man such as me...
(truer words never spoken nor written)
take my word and decline
and absolutely refuse to take masterly crafted bait
videre licet Facebook female
seeking to lure, catch
and unwittingly cannibalize
thee unfortunate soul
courtesy dangling eye catching
teasing offer vis a vis friend request.

Analogous to a virtual
faux conscientious fisherwoman,
nonchalantly sporting her usual
moon officiant zestfully, maidenly
and entrancingly Venusian efficient
trappings of the trade
such as: a long-sleeved,
quick-drying fishing shirt,
technical fishing pants,
a wide-brimmed hat,
polarized sunglasses,
waterproof jacket and pants
(depending on weather),
sturdy waterproof boots,
and sometimes a fishing vest
to hold tackle and gear,
who aimed and angled
to reel in good catch of the day
using barbless hooks
and proper handling techniques,
to significantly minimize discomfort
when maneater snags a beauty.

A much more preferable fate than taking the bait
concerns mainlining, quaffing, snorting, et cetera
consciousness expanding material
ala electric kool aid acid test,
which nonfiction authored by Tom Wolfe
showcased a bus named by artist Roy Sebern,
who painted the word "Furthur"
(with two U's, quickly corrected)
inspiration to pacify cool and the gang
of offbeat generation Characters:
Neal Cassady, Jerry Garcia,
Ken Kesey, Stewart Brand,
Ken Babbs (a leader
of the Merry Pranksters -
and close friend of Ken Kesey),
the leader of a group of people
involved in the Acid Tests
featured in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
prodding them to continue going west.

I cannot speak nor write
from personal experience
regarding feeling voluntarily drugged,
but no hallucinogenic trip,
yours truly imagines
could rival the contumacious -
riding roughshod over sacrosanct
institution of heterosexual marriage,
ferocious - savagely character assassinating
a married male, id est,
incapacious - to accept no as an answer,
and predacious - preying
upon a sexagenarian husband
such shady sophisticated ploy linkedin
with the underbelly courtesy the Internet
in general and Facebook in particular
best to wriggle free and clear
and joining the gig
with the celebrated jumping frog
of Calaveras County
after successful effort
to get tossed back into the cyber sea.

Cuz buzzards circle o'er me
eyeing these lovely bones prithee
id est Roy L. T. Canard, Si
hence impossible mission
to be lovey dove vee.

Vague remembrances of dream  
which recurred with frequency
transfixed by Sir Real majesty
shows me and the misssus evicted.

Hum habitually hiccuping
in tandem feeling woozy
virtually celebrating monarchism
with British Royal Family,
and about eager and ready
to take a snoozy
so please pardon this poet
exhibiting being a lil oozy,
nevertheless yours truly
birthed the following verse
a reasonable rhyme and doozy
considering yours truly tipsy and *****.

Now this raggedy man
whilst deep in sleep
this past night
what felt like galactic body
fell upon ma slumbering heap
affecting immediate fear
lest worst nightmare
viz management boot us
into emotional inferno

felt steel tipped kickstarter,
would crush with might
but lo… heavy weighted body
just zee spouse
plunked herself into zzz land
immediately within unconsciousness deep
that's the husband unable
to recaptcha pleasant dreams
well nigh past midnight.

Unable to shake away drunken stupor
nor defeat insomnia
reliving sinister tête-à-tête
so...rather than emit shrieks
like some angry bird
idea arose to resume completing poem
expressing discombobulated state,
whereby sixty shades
of grey matter feels
similar to thick whey curds
palliative sans restorative power
per rest hopefully clear muddled pate

plagued with grogginess
and marauding herds
of mailer daemons worse
than unsuitable mate
or a world wide web filled with nerds,
thus lethargy purged
via catharsis forming swords
follow rhyming pattern
to convey drowsy tipsy mood,
a synonym for my words.

Noah respite despite eliminating kinks
courtesy arched back from cat nap
as ginned tonic, nor lion here
feline groovy getting high temporarily
spells relief and serve as balm
with pillowed temptress ever near
beckons softly inviting calm
before this human
goes awry and berserk on manic tear
being revisited from haunts
inside head of this wordsmith
caught by men in white coats
coming to take me away
**-**, hee-hee, ha-ha,

to the funny farm
straitjacketing this maniac
wrought with weariness
dark ringed circles around eyes  
showing Adonis long since didst veer
Judas Priest or  
if you prefer heavens to murgatroyd
can't stomach bulge
spills o'er tattered underwear,
whose ***** by the way
once upon a time
about the size of average palm pilot,
yet taut for witnessing
three score plus three mortal year.

This ole goat intoxicated,
plus forcibly locked within
fas paux blinding darkness,
the pitch black common
all purpose room
in disarray after Skyping English fete
at fictional Knock Less Apartments aye
daily encounter, one bewitchingly

hair raising dreaded locked
rooted tension doth amplify
fiendishly horrible, jeeringly loopy,
nippy nap noopy,
pugnaciously ravenous, talon
viciously wizened, xenophobic yeti, zapping
zeroing zillion zippers,
zoned alley bye

barred doors fate helplessly jury-rigged
sealed with plaintive cry;
no escape known to this man caught
in a deadly voodoo clutch,
thus doomed to die
ugly cannibalistic, frightful,
heathen rumors myopic eyes espy
alarmed at feeling trapped

akin to a wingless fly
tapping reserves of scapegoat
coping techniques ingenuity,
which earned me moniker "fall guy,"
where accursed cruel fate destined exit
from getting husked, issued
jagged lance like mandibles "hi
there unknown weekly reader,” I

pray for super leftist
write hand man/woman to extricate
(via whipping up literary poetic fabrication),
then joining me to sing jai
(let victory prevail against killer odds)
perhaps summoning division
of British shiver rights phalanx,
hood reply with Hackneyed "oh kai"

springing surprise rescue,
sans swooping inside
mine hermetically faux invisible prison,
where this troubadour doth reside,
yet realistic to accept my
demise without putting up
a good fight well nigh
against inevitable mortality

(out maws of death)
gleefully depriving grim reaper
death his domain and
eventual unavoidable claim,
but if such kind unaccustomed soul
can cushion the blow of penury...
vis a vis philanthropic treatment
manifested as deliverance  

courtesy anonymous altruistic benefactor
plucking one bard
off downward slippery
precipice of homelessness,
ye will be rewarded with apple pie
ala mode enjoying a Quai,
yet moment with
Holden Caulfield doppelganger
made famous qua Catcher in the Rye.

Consider the following rambling missive a hybrid
with little or no idea, how when fingers of mine
pressed keys of their own volition,
I just sat back at enjoyed the evolution
and genesis of some extemporaneous
manifestation of culling out the essence
to make a feeble attempt at enlightening
the unsuspecting reader, who undoubtedly
cursed me up and down
the information superhighway
strewn with the detritus of absolute zero
sense and sensibility
engendering pride and prejudice
just book haws a figurative
flash in the pan yielded
prolific gibberish, an exercise
in writing stream of consciousness
just for the sake of loosing whimsical
thoughts that darted to and fro
hither and yon
within the creases and folds
at my laughable tabled contents
within me noggin.

Though not in the market to purchase additional computers (actually thoughts arose about upgrading from the Macbook Pro - MacBook Pro (Retina, 15-inch, Mid 2015), Processor - 2.2 GHz Quad-Core Intel Core i7, Memory -16 GB 1600 MHz DDR3, and methinks there might be the onset and basic manifestations of electronic version of alzheimer, Graphics - Intel Iris Pro 1536 MB, Serial Number -  - C02RR71SG8WN) since becoming aware the McAfee Virus protection cannot be upgraded due to the age of said laptop, but chronic fraudulent sabotage with Citizens Bank checking accounts compromised my meager funds, (I feel paranoid and unfairly targeted) necessitates immediate resolution (maybe even seriously considering fomenting a revolution number 9 as a tribute to the late John Lennon) as priority number one bumping aside any consideration to upgrade to a newer Apple product (preferably another MacBook Pro), and bitta bing bitta bang a fellow resident here at Highland Manor Apartments sold me an IPad for fifty dollars.

Hence what else to do about being at the receiving tight end and being bandied around like a football, (videlicet a series of bank fraudulent unfortunate events) that I experienced time and again than whip up some stock in trade literary reaction visited in the form as a recurring theme about finances that frankly find me getting zapped with one or more perpetrator's zeal and ardor, forcing me to become one among legion of the ******, foo fighting, beastie boy spontaneous ******* sans prose or poetic palaver as a freshly minted sexagenarian made to suffer chronic impecuniousness while cyber crooks embezzled money from me not less than a half dozen times, a once upon a time little pipsqueak, who grew up to become a bigger accursed pipsqueak, which farrago written by a resident of Fargo, North Dakota, a long days journey into night from Lake Wobegon central Minnesota the mecca for Norwegian Bachelor farmers, who grew sturdy and tall courtesy Powder Milk Biscuits.

I alternate between punching (while perched on my high horse) out poems for no particular rhyme nor reason, but predicated on the sheer joy of English language (some in fact unbelievably based on a kernel of fact), or spinning yarns with a similar proportion of embellishment er...um... fiction, but my oh my would Mark Twain be proud of me, I who humbly claim to be genealogically linkedin courtesy siblings descendent of his sisters and brothers, who lived long enough to bare witness to offspring living well into the nineteenth century despite evidence to the contrary.

If as fervent and avid an interest in rhetoric, literature, grammar gripped me analogous to a vice during my salad days, I without a shadow of a doubt - (herewith Punxatawney would  and could only envy) can easily envision myself having breathed in one after storied author from time immemorial until the then present, (or even what scholars then considered contemporary), which time frame bracketed between early to late twentieth century. How the futurists of my hay-day would no doubt marvel at how the fourth technological The Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR), or Industry 4.0, counts as the current technological era defined by the fusion of physical, digital, and biological systems, driven by technologies like Artificial Intelligence, Internet of Things (IoT), and robotics rapidly building on the digital advances of the Third Industrial Revolution, this era witnesses rapidly changing how we live, work, and relate to each other by merging technologies and creating intelligent, interconnected systems punctuated by Key technologies include AI, robotics, 3D printing, biotechnology, and cloud computing, which are transforming industries, creating smart factories, and blurring the lines between human and machine.

Though a biological product of the baby boomer generation, a hankering and pressing nostalgia finds sentiments of mine linkedin to a time and place that maybe never existed except within the flights of fancy that flourished within the the average adult human brain weighs about 3 pounds (1.3 to 1.4 kg) and encompasses a volume of roughly 1,260 to 1,300 cubic centimeters (cm³) and generally about the size of two clenched fists and makes up approximately 2% of total body mass, and somewhere within the convolutions of various tissues, primarily specialized nervous tissue that includes neurons and glial cells, as well as connective tissues, blood vessels, and other supportive structures that form the complex ***** known as the brain.

These days approximately three score and six (versus four score and seven) orbitz around the sun the lightspeed of time elapses within a blink of an eye as I clock one revolution after another, a stunned disbelief finds me shell shocked how my sixty sixth year slipped away qua half way thru the second decade of the twenty first century, and hence I experience the status of outlier (cue Unitarian, nonestablishmentarian, latitudinarian, et cetera characteristics) averse to depersonalization tricked out as digitization, mechanization, and (supposedly modernization making humans free and clear of time consuming physical labor), I lament never growing up off the grid.

Stamina of mine slowly ebbing away
covenant to join Silver Sneakers
(at the Spring Valley Y.M.C.A.) I did betray
procrastinator's motto
my lame excuse and well worn cliché
why do today what I can put of until tomorrow
tempus fugit waits for no mortal
nor can one stave
off grim reaper without delay
no fancy feast doth he desire
only human flesh he foremost craves
analogous to a cannibal
most sought after entrée
freshly lovely bones applying scythe
helps mastication while subject
laid out and prepared as fillet
past juncture to negotiate and gainsay
further tenure on par with Methuselah,
which longevity would be reason
to celebrate without following mandates
and just the mere freedom
to shrug off codas
brings occasion to exclaim hooray
adamantly averse to passive role
writing according to establishment
any conventions such as
some types of poetry
with strict rules include the sonnet,
villanelle, sestina, haiku, and ghazal
though predisposed to avoid extremist measures
such incorporating agents provocateur
I honestly believe evolution of creation
when one can calmly, clearly, and cooly inveigh
towards and YES sacrificing
an innocent child such as Jonbonnet,
or accursed white supremacists such as the KKK
violently drag-queens such as men
who attire and don couture
exposing muscular legs
courtesy form fitting lingerie
or perchance just barely
covering effeminate and/or
exposing male reproductive features
knot caring about exposing flesh
thru meshed gaps between exotic macramé
but never would a bachelor farmer from Norway
attire himself and advertise his package
that obviously doth outweigh
the average size pecker
among the male population of Paraguay
only the young studs
flashing lithe bodies
while lying supine on a quai
while innocent bystanders
admired and oogled
while beach bums engrossed
reading the genre writing of François Rabelais
where on the boardwalk
an enterprising piano player
tickled the ivory of a Steinway,
which lyrics interestingly enough
made reference to the battle of Thermopylae
a famous battle in 480 BC;
a Greek army under Leonidas
annihilated by the Persians,
who were trying to conquer Greece,
but luckily got blown off course to Uruguay.

No stuntman/woman showed up,
albeit intervened in timely fashion
to thwart mishaps experienced
courtesy me I bemoan,
and poet lore re: yet of Perkiomen Valley
Pennsylvania, United States of America
never suffered major illness nor broken bone
(specifically life and death health crisis,
nor compound fracture respectively)
cuz guardian angel intervened,
though aim of mine heretofore
forthwith literary endeavor
merely expressing, exhibiting, examining...
a painfully ****** mishap,

where Lady Luck gussied up as crone
perhaps female spirit of  
Matthew Scott Harris
in the guise of wizened older woman
himself affecting doppelganger
as grotesquely personified...
well lemme cease written jibber jabber
without rhyme nor reason
nor sense and sensibility
analogous to being subjected to annoying drone  
and describe and elucidate
how stunted man (me) amazingly graceful,
nevertheless, yours truly accident prone

The following bonafide poem
fleshed out ~ October 2019
I did accidently revisit
painfully suffering with silent true grit.

Aw shucks, I did sustain
moderately serious injury
series of unfortunate events
ludicrous and quite insane,
yours truly did previously explain
while crouching (think

Tony as papier mâché Tiger),
aye fell backward, where sharp
desktop corner didst train
ground zero right side rib cage domain
punched thru L.L. Bean Autumn jacket
zapped, tattooed, lacerated... bloodstain

proof positive bow tocks sing
arrowing, fletching, notching,
piercing, searing targeting ... pain
prestidigitation went awry
courtesy "fake" legerdemain,
yours truly incapacitated plain

vanilla and simple
found me mortally slain,
more tortuous than spelunking thru
eye of needle size tunnel,
no bigger than sand grain,
and/or trumpeted by suzerain

arrogant, boastful, contemptuous...
arid, barren, cerebrally desolate brain,
a definitive liability,
(not just from Ukraine
stormy din yelled brouhaha), profane
but..., I wholeheartedly ascertain,

the former commander in chief
an absolute zero inane
purpose twittering acrimonious, disdain
calamitous, egregious, gangrenous..., arcane
rumbustious, venomous,
zealous... carte blanche

bigoted, misogynistic, racist..., inhumane
blathering, excoriating, insulting...
seeding, planting, muckraking... dogbane
demanding obeisance till
germane henchmen verstehen
unwittingly declaring himself
jejune bloodhound August huss

preening, primping, proofing
orange-blond mane
more attentive to applying
gray matter to strain
Midas coated self
important fiery propane
verbal quid pro quo

explosions inevitably spray'n,
nothing but antisemitism, barbarism,
demagoguery, hatred...
diatribes roiling the masses
til rabid rantings attain
intolerant decibel threshold
usurping totalitarian refrain.

Just a garden variety generic wordsmith
teasing out reasonable rhyme courtesy ploy;
self plagiarizing boot juiced barely abiding
by ruff dogma, with enigmatic joie
de vivre charisma,
which oft times witnessed
gentle green giant gentile goy
essentially me being a decoy
occasionally rocketing, outsourcing,
kickstarting, feigning
tubby an Anchorite, ahoy!

Life in the K9 corps
ain't so doggone ease zee
absolutely daunting, hence
lemme share with ye
haunting, and unnerving, the whee
kid nasty, short, and brutish
ways, and truth be told,
I would rather be outwardly
hidebound, gagged, and flagellated
(threatened tubby slowly

strangled to death by bonafide vee
numb muss snakes, yours truly
screaming ****** ******,
viper esse scent chilly resembling
caduceus), and/or re:
peat head lee bitten
(till death do us part)
by vampire (weekend) bats pre
dominant lee inhabiting
spooky attic, nee

above cattle crying
abattoir, bovines bull heave -
meeting grisly demise, where prowling
hoodlums - vicious murderous electric
kool aid acid tested gang
infesting mean streets -
viz hit head hay be us corpse lee
ving shot up desolation
(think skidrow) role much
more blood curdling, key
ping adrenaline heart pounding,

and sweat pouring directive hee
ping helplessness 'specially,
when this gree
gear re: us macho foo fighter,
accompanied by my grateful
dead cutting crew - on free
key Friday the 13th
assigned directive to man
the most crime ridden, and be
dev filled violent bailiwick,
donning head to toe
bulletproof suit vests.

Nevertheless, yours truly fraught with
horrendously extreme
difficulty, and more
challenging, enduring, and grueling
than surviving training
undertaking associated
with elite military clique,
and attendant rightfully
earned linkedin prestige
joining: Raiders of United
States Marine Corp,
Green Berets United States Army
Special Forces, or Navy Seals.

This subdued wordsmith
doth not rack his brains to **** fess appeal
toward one household pop starlet.

He blithely, nonchalantly, and willingly
add mitts audiological enjoyment, sans the lithe
hot feline Taylor Swift - I might be
the only baby boomer ****** mwm,
who admires this talented singer/songwriter,
yet owns NO (absolute zero)  
aspirations beyond composing poems or prose
toward divine dame.

A questionable attempt to stitch together –
analogous to knot sew swift a tailor,
this scribe sought to create a poem
(crafted countless years ago)
from her then song titles spanning
the letter “A” to the letter “H.”

Despite never setting eyes
(AND MOST Definitely NOT PAWS),
this grateful dead corpse of a skeleton
(essentially lovely bare bones),
when alive I found one gal powerhouse,
(asper the title of this informal homage)
genuinely fashioned, entirely
dutifully composed, benevolently addressed
as an attraction among
the wonders of the
world wide web, confidently enduring,
gracefully immensely known,
mainly not overly prone to quibble
regarding her less outstanding
musical and lyrical confections.

This doggone muttering pooch
bow wows against
nattering nabobs of negativism
able, eager, ready, and willing
bugaboos countering, dispelling, excoriating...
courtesy unsustained denunciations
against latent natural born talents
of aforementioned musician,
whereby pulp magazines make mincemeat
hammering, nailing, and wrenching
storied accomplishments
never yanking off the top of list
of solo women musical artists
who sold the most number one albums.

Before the advent vis a vis
crafting this literary challenge
incorporating a poetic endeavor
predicated on prolific tunes
comprising audiophile of Taylor Swift,
(and thus a prescript interim),
as iterated above,
a whim took hold to string
her partial song playlist
(quite substantial even up to
BUT NOT including the letter “I”).

This scribe dabbled, hocked, and limned
what evolved into a semi satisfactory effort,
to articulate, copacetic, enigmatic, generic,
ironic, kinetic, magnetic, opportunistic,
quixotic, scholastic, ultra democratic,
holistic yik yak paddy whack
give this bard a bon bon.

Adieu admit to elaborating, jovially,
and openly leave readers second guessing,
(what might easily be labeled,
misconstrued, and nullified as gobbledygook),
asper how mashup song titles
got figuratively slapped together
as a feebly note worthy attempt
to put down sew sew pontoon
swiftly tailored literary bridges
in an effort to connect a cumbersome,
fulsome, and irksome pseudo
straight forward itemized songs
sung by said seductive singular sylph..

Thee Mademoiselle found,
or made a place in the world for yourself
aching like a boy out in left field
pining to catch that high fly
there ain't nothing 'bout you,
(nor Brooks and Dunn) I can attest
even if hypothetically,
we spent eons at an all night diner,
where culinary staff knew thee all too well
and perhaps all you wanted
(shared with Michelle Branch)
perhaps positing the rhetorical question –
am I ready for love?

With an American boy
or a ***** best buddy
re: best friend forever with an American girl
if someone got cross, tis beneficial
(in this one republic) to apologize
regardless, whom ye choose as a confidante,
the following refrain plays in your mind
baby don't you break my heart slow
(at least according to Vonda Shepard)
memories no doubt arise,
when thee hapt to be a baby girl

thoughts unspool back to December
beautiful eyes peered
at a fractured reflection
before the love story
would begin again,
while ebbing, and flowing with my baby
recalling Bette Davis' eye
(taking visual delight
fantastic world tour live)
reminding self how better off
the choice made

tis much better than revenge
but umpteen times bother I will
asper boys and love
combustible mix – nonetheless
always reminding myself to breathe
deep, cuz being breathless
likened to a taste of death,
(I admit better than Ezra)
learning how to act points back
asper being brought up that way
lessons oft learned getting busted.

Oh...and by the way can I go with you?

Can you feel the love tonight?

Discern ache kin to sand castles crumbling?

Such granular, or solid state matter
doth forced to change
attested to by chaperone dads,
who dressed as Santa Claus invoked
that Christmas must be something more
especially, Christmases,
when you were mine
ah...closest to a cowboy
as “sigh” ever got
or tasting Gunstock rattlesnake pulverized,

yet countenance goose
(and found you under the care of Chet Atkins
at the make believe medical center)
shivered flesh against cold as you
though desiring thee to come back...he here
no doubt prone
to announce crazier requests asked
even crazier (as demonstrated
by flash mob generated
by Hannah Montana, one live wire)

if able to glean my sentiments...
cross my heart
aware as an adult feeling
the life source of daddy
or mommy, while hinting
with a stone temple piloted cold stare
double dare you to move
(or switchfoot), one to another
das feet – planted within
pitch dark blue Tennessee

dwelling with thoughts
of ma dear Digdan
or writing an imaginary letter
starting...”dear John”
ample melancholy maudlin material
to completely bind a diary of me
yes concert cavorting circumstances
avoidable, though didn't they
make chase like butterflies,
and don't they hate me for loving you?

So please don't tell me you want to,
when I don't want to anymore
argh, yet impossibly unshakable
the recurring thought don't you
act indiscriminately
as when down came the rain,
washed the spied her out
following suit (wet)
drenching yea...one drama queen
with chin amen along pearl
(jammed) harbor drive
(in conjunction with alan jackson)
presaging Jiving drops of Jupiter
(train chugging, clacking, clattering
railing gestalt of alien nation),

and all of a sudden like how odd though...
thinking about eighth grade graduate,
when lifetime seemed enchanted
now everything has changed
eyes open (“hunger games”)
maketh me – fall back on you
instant messaging you –
fall into me fearless,
though only fifteen
and how against pyrotechnics,
you find your way back home
on the fourth of July
perhaps led by a zeppelin sized firefly
ah, I ask myself who is the foolish one?

Me for you forever & always
(a platinum edition)
for girl at home
(donned in deluxe edition)
going bananas
in reference to Amazing Gracie
swaggering, and immune
to gunpowder & lead,
(whose leading lady Miranda Lambert)
whatsapp penned left her looking haunted
heartbreaker – (my words –
like the late Tom Petty)
about her, but unsure
if our thoughts aligned

anyway, here you go again (Dolly Parton)
a hero heroine
so...I clamor to yell out “hey soul sister”
and hey Stephen
along the boulevard of broken dreams,
this ribbon highway don't care
about trumpeting his lies
nor desecrating holy ground
honey baby, yes ye in the mom jeans,
I feel hopelessly devoted to you
(as didst Olivia Newton)
instinctively keen how to save a life
bobbing buoyantly amidst the fray.

An innocent miss steak kin...
once former main lion den cha hoard servant,
resident iz cow herd vegetarian boar
hoof faux whatever reason iz explore

ring bing foo fighting beastie boy, who doth
newt practice, what he preaches your
truly battens down chicken
coop hatches so... call me galore
re: us hypocritic,
this honest to dog omnivore – more

accurate said buzzfeeding primate -
**** sapiens, he whelk hams
adieu after quick bonjour
hears ear splitting eeyore
deaf finning chore
tills unable to ignore

admits transgression,
now wonder wherefore
whether art thou still
game to reed my adore
hub bull poetry
understandable if ye deplore

such atrocious, egregious, opprobrious...,
violating ethical core
**** regarding straying
against dietary herbivore
rudimentary eel lamb ants
(chocolate covered my dear Watson)

boot fault in the starfish...por
favor mice elf can
oxe plain twittering like plover
with reasonable rhyme for sure
don't get doggy dimples in bunch
cause to skewer me but... but before...

sending killing squad to slaughter -
this puppy, aye kindly honour
my wish and don
me noggin with pompadour
as fetching drag queen
torpedo sized *****

squirting parti-color
milk as self defense mechanism
averting casus belli thus
amidst melee I abhor
find self on horns of dilemma
life story of this poor

cooked goose flambé
caught between rock and trapdoor
special cannibal delight
where madding crowd
chants "send him back"
accursed unconscionable roar

ring anger, but lurch for eats,
an impulsive reflex courtesy extempore
rain nee yes unforgivable poor
craven impulse to up peas hunger
uncontrollably craving regarding carnivore

pang additionally not further injure
ring innocent animal plus more
to this fishy tail than
meats the Wawa birdseye.

I haint no spring chicken,
("Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk!")
but in Summer re:
long in tooth sexagenarian
nostalgic for the following imagery
evoked yesterday with very little effort
(aside from sweat of my brow – just existing)
June twenty second hazy, hot, and humid
at least here within the environs -
of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
tooth thousand and twenty four,
the air analogous to a steam bath outside,
though such insight
strictly predicated on meteorologist
as seen on the flat screen.

Now before scrolling down
lemme forewarn you of dire prediction
reading about how yours truly
doth suspire for Old Man Winter
returning with a vengeance
delivering a white July Fourth, Halloween,
Thanksgiving, Christmas,
Groundhog Day, Saint Patrick's Day...
yours truly desiring experiencing
becoming comfortably numb,
after envisioning, invoking
then summoning forth cold spell.

Should deep freeze rain (reign)
crystalline precipitation pure as the driven snow
blanketing large swaths of webbed wide world
wreaking havoc courtesy
unparalleled blizzard conditions,
would stump and confound earth scientists
suddenly finding themselves pensively *******
subsequently becoming overnight skeptics
and staunch Republicans to boot - argh,
who grudgingly, hesitatingly scrap

what seemed to be
irrefutable air tight evidence
with reams of data proving global warming
and side with deniers –
mostly non Democrats
courtesy artificial intelligence
hinting at inexplicable
significant ice age approaching,
barreling, and coming fast as a freight train
virtual models prognostication

would show Polar Vortex
engulfing the entire planet
clamping down hard
much of the United States
likely a couple short months in the future,
forecasting temperatures to register absolute zero
taxing the electric grids to heat lovely bones
chilling, freezing, immobiling civilization, whereby
government agencies regularly issuing
permanent code blue declarations,

which teeth chattering cold scenario
impossible mission to imagine or avoid
with wind chill factors in triple digits
Jack Frost overstayed courtesy welcome,
when climate controlled central heater
allows, enables and provides
man/woman made respite hooray,
apartment cozy as a poetry nook,
whereby yours truly his head he doth lay
(under crocheted blanket)

quickly slipping into deep sleep;
the missus (madre) and her padre
(me) taking a siesta until spring
in my dream I take treadway
from such new zzz land
to Piccadilly Circus, London,
welcoming me to early twentieth century
balmy weather all year round
place named Willoughby, where one
unnecessary to get bundled

and wrapped up –
like a mummy dearest  
kvetching in vain at frigid forecast oy vey,
where surveillance cameras take x-ray
of suspicious character - Not Me,
while actually in reality
outside apartment B44
one after another Nor'easter
howls like bajillion banshees
vents wind chill factor

as temperature dips
into low double digits as high,
and subzero higher negative number as a low,
I summon (with a puff) fire breathing
friendly quasi magic dragon,
an acceptable and laughable substitute
calls for none other than Barney
purple anthropomorphic
Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur.

Though a non-smoker of cigarettes,
I discover pleasure slowly puffing
on my pipe, and chose one at random
from among the collection
made of briar wood, meerschaum,
corncob, pear-wood, rose-wood or clay  
listening to crackling flickering hearth,
yours truly snuggling
(curled up in a little ball)
with favorite reading material
close proximity warming,
thawing, and quelling lovely bones.

For no particular rhyme nor reason
I lapse into a reverie
and hear the brutal and nasty wind
plaintively howling the song Molly Malone
her lilting voice distinctly heard
Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

Meanwhile atavistic visitations hover
after hypnotizing mindscape
of twenty first century **** sapien
as flashback visions of proto humans
commingling with competing
short and nasty brutes
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs
jump/kick starting, harkening,
dawning lion eyes zing

thawing ordinarily dormant memories,
where forebears alive bajillion years ago
battle him of the republic
thumping their chests
and uttering primal sounds
against vastly outnumbered predators,
who make mincemeat of weakest warbler
similar to contemporary beastie boy punk bands
survival of the fittest
linkedin to anonymous

Monkey's Uncle recherché representatives
toehold barely latched
precarious niche easily
activated punctuated equilibrium evolutionary quirk
imperceptibly bumped uglies
begot robust progeny
offspring expanding comfort zones
penumbra expanding edge of night
dark shadows receding further
outer limits of twilight zone

phantasmagoric shifting shapes (hint...
think Plato's Republic in general –
and Allegory of the Caves in particular -
synonymous with Allegory of the Metals)
alluring, beckoning, daring...
establishing, foraging, growing...
harvesting, invoking, jabbering
kowtowing, livingsocial,
Ashley Madison matchmaking tinder (ha)...

now lemme zip forward
back to the future
bajillion years somewhere in time circa 1970's
British comedy troupe
nudge nudge wink wink,
say no more
know what I mean courtesy
Monty Python's Flying Circus
rollicking humorous sketches
oft times tackling primal urges
proto humans initially verbally grunted,

where guffawing laughter
rewarded survivalist basic instinct
temporarily staving rabid
quivering premonitions outside
creature comfort boundaries,
whereby Geico Caveman
will remain till... dis ember
by George thoroughly good appetizer,
viz good chilled Wren plus
Pheasant under glass
burns away hunger pangs.

Inxs of recorded messages  
transmitted automatically
to my telephone number
by automatic dialing device.

I turn off **** ringer,
and disassemble (carefully
as disabling a time bomb)
internal workings nevertheless...
telephone still buzzes
twenty four seven
eight days a week
automated telephone calls
digitally recorded message
perfectly spoken English

differentiation to distinguish
"FAKE" simulation
all bot impossible
totally immune to escape
gagging hospitable invective
electronic jawboning immunized
against antipathy, cruelty, enemy,
hostility, insecurity, pleasantry
Yukon run to tallest mountain
dive into Mariana Trench

get catapulted into
outer limits of twilight zone,
yet NEVER be free and clear
getting wirelessly zapped
with visual ad audiological
offal dregs and spam
(minus the green eggs)
oh... yes even after life,
while weightlessly
pinwheeling in limbo,

particularly during eternal sleep,
when dead souls repose
six feet deep
or corpse undergoes cremation...
yepper, infiltration into atomic core
blithely battered, jimmied,
cherry lee pitted, tweaked,
worse fate than return of Zombies
electrical essential existential
incorporeal surreal auditory ordeal

spurs indiscriminate human
to relish golden silence
spawning best selling novel
to flesh out fiction
Utopian treasured island story
winning unknown author
instant acclaim and glory
describing village people
livingsocial, free and clear
without annoyingly,

egregiously, infuriatingly,
maddeningly, quaveringly
vexing, nauseating, disrupting
blitzkrieg courtesy aggravating
trumpeting autonomous programs
hijacking brainstorming concentration
thwarting aim tug get back on target
(even when carrying on camping)
sundering coalescence
regarding colonizing black screen

aborted doomed genesis
of brilliant fleeting idea,
contributes to conspiracy theory
linkedin with ghost calls
thus one smart
generic garden variety
longfellow forced to
grovel along boulevard
of broken dreams
on a green day.

Any resemblance between above
hyperbole and living person
asked courteously by his name
of the human league,
I police tell the caller
purely coincidental!

I turn off **** ringer,
nonetheless...
telephone still buzzes
twenty four seven
eight days a week
automated telephone calls

digitally recorded message
perfectly spoken English
differentiation to distinguish
"FAKE" simulation
all bot impossible
totally immune to escape

gagging hospitable invective
electronic jawboning immunized
against antipathy, cruelty, enemy,
hostility, insecurity, pleasantry
Yukon run to tallest mountain
dive into Mariana Trench
get catapulted into

outer limits of twilight zone,
yet NEVER be free and clear
getting wirelessly zapped
with visual ad audiological
offal dregs and spam
oh... , yes even after life,

while weightlessly
pinwheeling in limbo,
particularly during eternal sleep,
when dead souls repose
six feet deep
or corpse undergoes cremation...

yepper, infiltration into atomic core
blithely battered, jimmied,
cherry lee pitted, tweaked,
worse fate than return of Zombies
electrical essential existential
incorporeal surreal auditory ordeal

spurs indiscriminate human
to relish golden silence
spawning best selling novel
to flesh out fiction
Utopian treasured island story
winning unknown author

instant acclaim and glory
describing village people
livingsocial, free and clear
without annoyingly,
egregiously, infuriatingly,
maddeningly, quaveringly

vexing, nauseating, disrupting
blitzkrieg courtesy aggravating
trumpeting autonomous programs
hijacking brainstorming concentration
thwarting aim tug get back on target
(even when carrying on camping)

sundering coalescence
regarding colonizing black screen
aborted doomed genesis
of brilliant fleeting idea,

thus one smart
generic garden variety
longfellow forced to
grovel along boulevard
of broken dreams.

Any resemblance between above
hyperbole and living persons
purely coincidental!

while being quarantined
inside our own invisible bubble

Transcendent meditations
while athwart oblate spheroid
allow, enable, and provide
deft capability deciphering
snap, crackle and pop
accepted as mere static
to the untrained ear.

Each inaudible silent cerebral
deaf utterance doth ricochet
across avast heavenly expanse
broadcast far beyond the realm Hubble
telescope detects faintest sound
signaling when cosmos began.

Courtesy near futile results
after jogging me memory,
the following individuals
(unbeknownst if still alive)
helped diagnose mental faculties
concerning yours truly
approximately comprising last two thirds
of mortal male named Matthew Scott Harris;
Ray McNeil
OVR Counselor;
Paul Sachs
licensed psychologist;
Elba Dorley
her professional title unknown.

Unsure who if any among
three aforementioned named
specially trained persons
coined diagnosis (mine)
I accepted (until now),
and blithely communicate
Schizoid Personality Disorder,
and crafted oodles of previous poems
concerning said malady.

Nevertheless profound social anxiety
plagued my every waking and sleeping hour,
scuttling many (née countless) opportunities,
whether series of unfortunate events
encompassed academia or
string of abysmal employment endeavors.

Sequestration of self
most often housed
within bedroom walls
(defined narrow realm),
where alone within
emotional wilderness (mine)
branded passive aggressive lad
(appellation brainchild
of late mother dearest)
as the world turned,
he remained holed up
(except for bathroom needs
and meal times)
inside most secure space
since he exited the womb.

Back in the day Kripalu Ashram
Sumneytown, Pennsylvania location,
which intentional community
(no longer flourishing)
offered peace of body, mind and spirit
found writer of these words
relief from parents,
whose ultimatums couched decision
livingsocial among macrobiotic residents.

Although welcomed for brief hiatus
against domestic backdrop
of psychological torment and trauma
(yes verbally skewered
gratis those two people
who helped beget their sole son),
the tranquil physical environment
extensive acreage incorporated
wooded hillocks, which topography resembled
324 Level Road - boyhood home
(an abode long since demolished
to make room for vinyl city)
afforded consciousness expanding
sensory perception awakening.

Since spiritual immersion
fostered by Guru Dev (i.e. Amrat Desai),
(whose reputation sabotaged,
violated, and yanked off pedestal
by his own stealthy appeasement
unleashing hormonal secretion
granting call of the wild
concerning tenderloin temptation
read carnal concupiscence
(impossible mission to maintain celibacy)
flagged above iterated transgression
blatant barenaked lady
espied flagrante delicto,
amazingly enough, which fall from grace
explains reason residents abandoned facility.

Mindfulness philosophy toward existence,
especially listening to structures of silence
constitutes mantra that endured
since familiarity learning heightened vigilance
(more'n half my life time ago)
experiencing honing sensation
with laser like focus
that buffet five senses.

anesthetized courtesy central air

analogous to gulping down
a tall glass of ice cold water,
which equals ultimate thirst quencher,
especially for those
experiencing onset dehydration,
the following poetic opinion/editorial  
shared by yours truly, a former consumer
who quaffed truckloads sugary and sports drinks
found mine once sculpted baby boomer body
undergoing gender reorientation, particularly
nondescript ******* incrementally found

busting (rivaling ******* bunny chest)
necessitated this garden variety
NON GMO gluten free husband
"papa," an endearment
addressed by the missus
puzzled when her
brassieres went missing
loathe to believe what sounded
like **** and bull story
embarrassed, yet finally
relented into pestiferous

inquisitiveness hen pecking wife,
she stood agape, after I dare bare
unclothed upper torso revealed
floppy, limp biscuit sagging
sorry excuse for *****
hence necessitating yours truly
to resort as partial crossdresser,
yet never foreseeing
anatomical morphology transforming
(analogous to mushroom popping up
following bucketloads of rain)

thus went cold turkey,
(as attested by this gobbledygook)
to swear off high caloric non nutritious
popular beverages
(generating bajillions dollars),
and additionally forced non chipper infowar
i.e. internal three ring circuits
uncivil insurrection
(a tad more'n eighteen months ago)
as weeks elapsed months
(this unplanned resolution

dated June seventeenth
two thousand twenty two),
discarded over the shoulder boulder holder
in tandem with exercise
few times per week
alternating plying twenty pound dumbbells
and exercising viz pedaling
(quasi bicycle) machine
a pronounced reduction
saved me big bucks
undergoing cosmetic (Liposuction) surgery!

and a lesson about pi (π) to boot
whether or not you give a hoot
and thee never foresaw
that above identified representation
would be incorporated
with poetry until yours truly
came into the scene,
but similar to the importance of pi (π)
thee my cannot escape
the omnipresent application
of valuable tidbit
unless of course we make a deal,
whereat you fork over so much loot,
but knowing that thee author of these words
will NOT be writhing in cognitive dissonance,
as he claims to do one action,
but ***** nilly does another
just like impossible mission
to escape the notion of square root,
WHAT, who do you think you might be kidding,
and pass up a golden opportunity
to wreak havoc
within noggin of anonymous sufferer
who will NOT be radical
and expound with gumption
upon the √ symbol,
(neither fat nor slim chance
yours truly – me will let thee
off the hook without eating my words,
especially feeling thee
squirming within mine grasp)
used to denote square root or nth roots,
whereby square root a number
that, when multiplied by itself,
produces a given number
illustrated by following example,
whereat the square root of 9 equals 3
because 3 multiplied
by itself (3 x 3) equals 9,
and square root operation
the inverse of squaring a number.

Not a single person "discovered" pi;
rather, the mathematical constant π (pi)
recognized and approximated independently
by mathematicians across different cultures
and time periods
from ancient Greeks,
including Archimedes,
who developed sophisticated geometrical methods
to approximate pi's value,
characterized as essential for practical
and theoretical applications, whereas
later mathematicians,
such as the Chinese scholar Zu Chongzhi,
built upon these methods
to achieve even greater accuracy.

Once again for the umpteenth time
like an awful nightmare
recurring like non-repeating decimal
such as pi (π) ala mode - ha,
the unchanging mathematical constant
represents ratio of a circle's circumference
(the distance around it) to diameter
(the distance across it through the center),
and no matter the size of the circle,
said ratio always the same,
approximately 3.14159,
NOT the value of 22/7
above denoted fraction
represents commonly used
rational approximation for π
an infinite, non-repeating number
called an irrational number
and because illustrious symbol
ranks as an irrational number,
the decimal representation
goes on infinitely
without any repeating pattern,
unlike rational numbers,
which have decimals
that either terminate
(like 1/4 = 0.25) or repeat
in a predictable sequence
(like 1/3 = 0.333...),
pi's digits never settle
into finite mathematical arrangement
unlike male pattern baldness.

Now if you will politely excuse
I need to contact all vendors/
merchants linkedin to newest card
in order update payment method
within a timely fashion
after substantial balance
in new account adequate
lest necessary products and services
brought to a crashing halt.

The list of agencies that warrant
urgent and immediate attention
at the mercy of bank colleague
gohar dot mukhtarzada at sign
citizensbank dot com,
and for ease of sparing
getting the client
(such as myself in this case),
she refers to herself as Jojo,
and now I feel linkedin at her mercy
since issues regarding fraud,
and squaring away
closing one checking account
and creating a new one,
the domain within her expertise,
and must wait until Monday September 22nd
two thousand and twenty five
before tending to the adventurous, enormous,
fortuitous, gracious, humungous,
illustrious, judicious, onerous,
and tedious task more difficult
than threading a camel
thru the eye of a (quite sizable) needle
(been there done that).

Truth be told after
the unwelcome webbed,
wide world series of unfortunate events
(where checking account subjected
to fraudulent activity
to the tune of thousands of dollars,
(or try whistling said statement to Dixie),
no matter how many time
user name and password change –
the virtual interloper stealthily robbed me
prodding one angry as a red bull netizen
to culminate notifying the billing office
(if unable or unwilling
to tackle the task of replacing
vis a vis modus operandi
with fresh spanking new debit card),
yet completing the process
for countless websites
linkedin with revised payment method
could almost be done
when asleep with hands
tied behind my back.

Back approximately half my life ago
dissociative disorder
if qualified to self diagnose
mein kampf psychological state...

I lacked emotions where others concerned.

That refrain replayed itself,
when wife picked up
(like a broken record),
where parents left off
before they entered
another dimension
(maybe the fifth)
of space and time
(hosted courtesy Rod Serling),
where yours truly (me)
repeated until blue in the face
don't hock my chinik
to the missus lest
a potential crime scene
draws The Mod Squad.

Though she ceased reiterating
magnum opus of colorful epithets
towards me, daunting effort
well nigh impossible to ignore
daily USDA over dosage
stinging derogatory, heavily re: tar did
psyche stunted, wrathful
verbal artillery fire remains with me
to this moment in tandem,
and keep lock step company with malicious
noxious obloquy pilloried,
quotidian rate sundering unsung
vitality within zealous
aspiring bookish chap.

Daily eruptions
from glowering Hercules
inundated, jack-knifed, linkedin
fin de sic cull nursing offal
personal quaking resentment stewing
toxic watershed unleashed veritable,
red hot wrath, undermining vivacity
within yawping seething, tormenting
uber vitality wreaking
yours truly x ***** she hating,
killing motives of papa querulously,
rabidly scathing, terrorizing

sole son, who for better
part of marriage underwent
lighter version of invectives
cutting me down to size,
asper zero self worth, though
calmer days prevailed between
 huzz-band and spouse, yet nonetheless
indelible imprimatur undeniably
etched overtop palimpsest
raw hide of self esteem.

Twas quite recently,
this heir indubitably coaxed sea legs,
more so regarding self acceptance
felt emboldened,
empowered, and emancipated
from invisible shackles
bounding (akin to Gulliver)
a dire straightened situation.

Thru auspices of divine help
(then Lower Merion counseling offices)
professional psychiatrists
psychologists quelled
retaliatory spiteful treatment
upon banshee hushed heads
(high school peers,
parents and fiendish ghoul-
lash humans) intently joyously kindled,
lamentable mean name calling
(though sticks and stones
ne’er hurled venality broke
lovely bones), the sheer redundancy
to remain passive
internalizing verbal cut throat,
villainous wicked yik yaks zapped
ambition to fight back,
and desire to live.

Characteristics against cross purposes
predated onset of bullies took delight
feigning Brutus Maccabeus
lashing at diminutive, harried,
and introverted Capricorn
incessantly lambasted, ostracized,
and repulsed from LivingSocial
hermetically sealing within bubble wrap,
could not thwart nor deflect
piercing poison tipped daggers
puncturing outermost covalent shell,
reminiscent pock marks from yesterday.

Though cessation of banal, devilish frothing
at mouth nastiness no longer prevails,
an inordinate number
of bumped ugly chronologically
bereft experiences, detached, estranged,
fostered knee-**** reactions
against socialization, brought
to light this moment
pregnant revelation no need
to discern what cauterized alienation.

Seeds of white lily
begot ordinary individual
(now middle aged male
lxv passages around black hole sun)
accepts schizoid personality disorder
born free and clear
within utero bolstered
by external forces
finds me aware essential core being
alive absent til death do me part.

here at Highland Manor Apartments
earlier today Juneteenth 2022,
(a pitch perfect spring day)
with serious intent to read
seat of the pants suspense thriller
The New Comprehensive
A-Z Crossword Dictionary.

Invariably, yours truly
quickly experienced drowsiness,
succumbed to deep sleep
and dreamt being linkedin
with livingsocially off the grid
among ecological, liberal, social minded
people progressive in act, deed, and thought
versus participating in consumerist paradigm.

As a conscious conscientious counterpart
the missus shops with a conscience
and yours truly considers her price savvy
when she purchases groceries
at ALDI, Giant, LIDL, or other supermarket.

Impossible mission to adopt modus operandi,
whereby wife would entertain notion to husband
energy garnering fruits and vegetables
courtesy sweat equity
since we lack basic homesteading skills,
nor consider either of us
adequately financially solvent
to contact compatible intentional community
since requisite criteria
require a healthy monetary stash of money.

Unlikely substantial windfall
will appear out of the blue,
nor grandiose wish to draw winning lottery ticket,
thus sobering truth to burnish marketable skills
finds me seek assistance
courtesy office of
vocational rehabilitation in general
and counselor Donna Marchese in particular,
which most likely entails
securing training to learn
Microsoft Office Applications.

More precisely, some familiarity exists
regarding understanding computer software
since admission of foolhardiness
now averred how countless golden opportunities
slipped thru these ofttimes sweaty fingers.

Though never successfully completed,
received funding back in the day from:
CETA, O(ffice) of V(ocational) R(ehabilitation)
twice before whereby
the former and/or latter program
allocated unspecified dollars
(poor Ray McNeil, the first OVR counselor,
whose tiresome love's labour's lost for naught)
in an effort to acquire gainful employment,
which in all honesty sabotaged
cause of that bugaboo severe social anxiety
more specifically diagnosed
as schizoid personality disorder;
no shame to admit mental health crisis.

one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
analogous to baseball fanatic
(unlike myself who knows and cares
nothing about the game)
spewing forth Batting average (BA),
on-base percentage (OBP),
and slugging percentage (SLG)  
often referred to together
as a player's "slash line".

A fourth batting stat
known as on-base plus slugging (OPS),
which is a combination of OBP and SLG.

Other batting stats include runs batted in (RBI),
where a batter is credited with an RBI
when they score a run
as a result of their plate appearance.

Meanwhile back to the wife,
who would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or another
to purchase sought after item(s)
despite schlepping the extra miles,
and often scoops up goods
from clearance section,
and adheres to the postman's credo
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion
of their appointed rounds"
often considered the motto
and inscribed in gray granite
above the entrance
to the New York City Post Office.

The phrase comes from
The Persian Wars by Herodotus,
written around 500 B.C.
during the wars between
the Greeks and Persians.

Herodotus referring to the Persian
mounted postal couriers,
who he observed with great admiration
and said were undeterred
by the elements
from completing their rounds.

The phrase was modified and approved
by the Post Office Department in 1914
by William Mitchell Kendall,
an architect at McKim, Mead & White,
the firm that designed
the New York General Post Office.

Kendall (the son of a classics scholar)
enjoyed reading Greek.

Every now and again, I accompany her,
after she tries in vain
to coax and wheedle yours truly
(with threats she won't
buy me any favorite drinks -
such as Kombucha),
nevertheless but frequently remain
holed up in our one bedroom apartment
disinclined to subject myself,

(a socially anxious aging baby boomer,
and lapsed long hair pencil neck geek to boot)
to the cruel embarrassment and harassment
linkedin with Samson syndrome
characterized courtesy lovely long golden locks,
(and rivaling the storied Rapunzel)
despite the small investment in shampoo
bully me prime target for mean people
who offer their unsolicited feedback

Matter of fact, she went out
earlier this saturday morning
(enjoying spate of cool temperature
for August seventeenth
and accompanied by light rain
courtesy hurricane ernesto
to unload bags of recyclables
jammed into the trunk
giving the television show
characters Sanford and Son
(a 1972 break out hit),
a run for their money.

Despite the temperature being five below...
these fingered handy limbs
awash with profuse sweat
dripping palms analogous
to a ****** busted gushing water main.

Mein kampf analogous
to a self made prisoner
who cannot escape being terrorized
and tortured within invisible
hermetically sealed walls of air tight prison
regularly hunted down
courtesy malevolent daemons
blood curdling deathly silent screams
echo within the sound of silence.

Earlier today some jokester
(like a batman out of hell
came round boppin
like some robin
after their diet of worms)
riddling mine psyche
into a war torn zone analogous
into a veritable no man's land
heavily strewn with deadly explosives

detonating deafening explosive
rife with volatile anxiety,
I felt hunted and targeted
like a common criminal
forced to scuttle
meager barebones existence,
and gladly plunge into an abyss
unbeknownst to me
on par with Dante's inferno.

Hours after grueling life and death battle
keppie (in Yiddish a lighthearted
and endearing way
to refer to a head or forehead)
severely suffered bruises and lacerations
courtesy familiar enemy
(known to me donned
as trumpeting evil
doppelgänger barren of virtue)
relentlessly sadistically and tyrannizing
mutilating corporeal flesh
until flayed muscle and tendon
abandoned as ****** heap.

Visitation of cruel taskmaster
(omnipresent every waking
and sleeping moment of hellish
fiery brimstone existence)
repeatedly brutalized yours truly,
no matter I did plead for mercy
for spirit who usurped eminent domain
to please cease and desist
punishing life lessons
making a cameo appearance

after a reprieve of temporary truce
to drive me towards the maws of death,
yet stopping just shy of beating
the living daylights out
generic lovely bones genetically assigned
to one frazzled sexagenarian,
whose hellish existence
nearly brought to an untimely end
when victimized fellow
subjected to a maelstrom

of suicidal ideation
when a mere adolescent lad
and days, weeks, months...
years, decades, scores
of ragged orbitz round the sun
chock full of accursed torment
barely alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
authorized by credentialed nurse practitioner
predicated on symptoms of social anxiety,

dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder
absolute zero relief
against wanton depredations
rendered ineffective today
the seventh of June
two thousand and twenty four,
hence a feeble intent to communicate
insufferable beast of burden
wracking one figurative rolling stone.

I managed to drive to and fro a short outing
dodging, hedging, lunging away
from slippery grasp of nemesis
attempting to pull
at sorry these excuse for legs
nevertheless seriously lacerating epidermis
only to realize, the horrific killer
left his tell tale signature
with ****** phalanges
dangling from wrists linkedin to my arms.

One garden variety generic male - the
very writer of these words feels akin
to an anachronism, whereby his being
alive at this juncture within the space/
time continuum (July 29th, 2022 – an
ordinary day) finds me mismatched

with the fast paced civilization – ink comp
passing the greater part of webbed wide
world, where premium placed upon
inherent strengths such as: supreme
abilities in artistry, athleticism, comedy
computers, horse whispering

(nay-saying patriarchal system -
particularly wrought courtesy
White Anglo Saxon Protestants,
whereby codas, dogma, edicts...
crafted to benefit mortals who
usurped land occupied by natives.)

I don't belong with any earthly age,
creed, denomination, nationality,
race, religion, et cetera, but consider
myself an outlier hiding in dark shadows
cast courtesy outer limits of the
twilight zone, a foreigner among strangers.

Aghast at explosive industrialization/
urbanization once sacred wild woodland
whittled away overlain bumper crops
comprising trappings green lighted
supposedly signaling progress unwittingly
overrides avast enclave (teeming with

diverse flora and fauna passively cleared,
dominated, expropriated by dictate of
commercialization, exploitation, fabrication
fueling amalgamation, fabrication, lubrication
oiling cogs and wheels sustaining, murdering
guaranteeing production trumpeted at

expense native flora and fauna acquisition,
cooptation, extermination, gratification
decreed ******* **** sapiens usurped
law of land i.e. eminent domain foisted
upon unsullied "new world" defining
European age of exploration, whereby

pristine undulating immense acres
indiscriminately partitioned, (despite
indigenous peoples unrecognized precedence
to remain holistic caretakers of Mother
Earth tendered, predicated, linkedin with
generations worth of sacredness, which

spiritual reverence meant naught to
unwelcome trespassers solely hell bent
to force acquiescence, compliance,
obeisance,... to warlords, whose cruel,
diabolical gall lee jeepers libidinal
incursions sought extinction toward

defenceless native inhabitants subject
to machinations spelling extermination,
yet their restless spirits infiltrate occupants
of once happy hunting grounds devoid
without a trace, when this bucolic tract
devoid of present schlocky vinyl zoned

abodes, whereby fast disappearing vestige
alluding to pastoral vista spurs overactive
imagination regarding yours truly, who
chiefly hankers he got born during
sparse population versus pell mell hustle.

Hurriedly enroute to her royal majesty
porcelain goddess throne
whereupon earlier today
March 28th, 2022,
after incomplete defecation
sitting pretty on pissoir,
I jiggled and wiggled posterior

(analogous to performing
the *** bared hustle)
until gasping for breath
though unable to shake loose
dangling ******* yours truly
nevertheless synchronously praise zing
a mostly functioning sphincter muscle.

Gross and smelly
as human excrement considered
expelling ***** matter comprises
important function, whereby any unspent
ingested material shunted
thru alimentary canal
then spewed courtesy sphincter vent.

**** lies zing constipation
and/or stubborn stuck drek
nothing to poo poo about,
cuz when bedeviled by
colorectal obstruction,
no matter emetics
applied with bonafide clout
without wasted doubt,
that malodorous, maleficent
malevolent malady
body electric doth flout
analogous to uranus

clogged with grout,
whereat no heroic
efforts break loose,
the severely obstructed bowel,
thus spurring determined,
desperate derriere plea
for proctologist sought
to relieve constipation

equipped with a special
"J" shaped, hooked,
and designed dowel
in an effort
to pry stoppage
if/when yours truly constipated
jamming up human cloaca,
where rock solid stubborn
immovable **** emits foul

gaseous emanations accompanied
with a$$ a nine growl
followed by red hot,
fiery excruciating spasms
shooting jagged pain
inducing yours truly to access,
the werewolf within howl,
where a preference for sciatica,
in place, but my ill luck
regarding aforementioned plight
merely naming said nerve pain
accursed affliction arises

analogous to parasite malefactor thieve
ving would be
equally unpleasant and offer
absolutely zero reprieve
along heinie kin cheeky jowl,
thence finding me
resorting to peeve
hush scream therapy,
which wrought nothing,
no pain did re: leave
me bummed out ***,
but veins snapping,

popping, and crackling,
utmost effort I forcefully heave
oye how aye did grieve
plus a bajillion
gallons of perspiration,
while lower gastrointestinal
agonizing torture didst cleave
entire abdominal
area please believe
without aforementioned crisis,
and feeble poem,
I could not achieve.

getting fitted for a new pair of dentures
at Liberty Dental in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania;
The tab picked up courtesy
Aetna Medicare Advantra Cares (HMO D-SNP).

Unfortunately said outcome
represents the exception
(regarding measuring success or failure
in the school room or work place)
rather than the rule,
whereat scattershot academic,
and employment history
reveals mine curriculum vitae
chock-a-block extant
with poor scholastic performance
and termination (as if pierced
with a terrible swift sword)
from one job after another respectively.

I made an absolute ZERO effort attempt
to score high marks or earn kudos,
no rhyme nor reason why
yours truly rarely
if ever sought to persevere,
and essentially did not try
though forever dog gone tired
donning figurative dunce cap -
a pointed hat, formerly used
as an article of discipline

in schools in Europe
and the United States—
especially in the 19th
and early 20th centuries—
for children who were disruptive
or were considered slow in learning,
(where classmates or other employees
assailed ready made fodder
made snickering snide remarks
in tandem with

swashbuckling sword play - nah
akin to the three musketeers -
barred from Mars)
toward extremely socially withdrawn boy
whispering under their breath at a lad,
who owned an inferiority complex
the size of Pennsylvania)
exhibiting faith no more in self
at a painfully early age
found him eager, ready and willing
to allow, enable, and provide

ripe opportunity for others to ply
name calling and bullying,
experiencing trauma analogous to
British POWs ordered
by their Japanese captors
to construct a bridge
of strategic importance
over the river Kwai
but never did tears of sadness
simultaneously emanate
from left and right eye.

analogous to hatches being
battened down
courtesy COVID-19 12+
(Pfizer only) and Flu Vaccine (65+)
October 31, 2024,
which found me convalescing
one day later with minor aches and pains
remedied with acetaminophen.

More than 1 million people died
from COVID-19 in the US
since the virus first emerged
in Wuhan, China
in December 2019.

On March 11, 2020,
the World Health Organization
characterized the outbreak as a pandemic.

Now approaching the fourth year anniversary,
the availability of effective inoculations
offers blessed intervention
to mitigate serious complications.

I (unlike the missus)
no longer don a mask,
nevertheless wash hands frequently
as a reasonable precaution
to maintain health of body,
mind and spirit triage.

While stayin' alive at sixty five,
(people passing me right and left
along the boulevard of broken dreams)
I try to be proactive
toward mental, physical,
and spiritual wellness,
whether spending leisure hours
engaged with efforts that exercise
the, body, mind, and spirit triage
abstaining from watching television
versus reading one among
a small number of magazines
or becoming engrossed
courtesy well written book.

I also try my hand
crafting a poem
linkedin to some significance
regarding particular present date
shown by the calendar
usually an event that impacted
and affected me to become
calm, cool, and collected or irate
for better or worse
my mental, physical, or spiritual state.

When emotionally, physically,
or spiritually unwell,
when nada one iota of bliss prevails
toward favorite activity
such as: kickstarting
hairbrain scheme to get rich quick
painting the town red,
underwater basket weaving
(or other idioms pejoratively used
to describe college courses
considered to be useless or absurd.

I tout resting
and becoming comfortably numb
(while listening to white noise
issuing from a fan or heater,
which whirring or humming sound
frequently nudges me
into deep sleep with nary a hitch)
if general malaise pervades
thru these lovely bones,
which actually scream out for exertion
(and no excuse exists
since getting a smart haircut

going on a couple months already,
and making cleanliness
next to the closest approximation
an atheist can attain of godliness)
cuz I knew my slovenly appearance
(a passive aggressive
silent rebel yell
against the establishment -
mainly the liberal strictures
of my father and mother)
would be a deterrent
within a social situation.

Which lame excuse I exclaimed,
when my dear old mom asked
rather told me in her scolding voice
to tidy up my bedroom,
cuz this son of a gun
intuited neatening (organizing)
one infinitesimal corner of the cosmos,
(a veritable pinpoint of nothingness -
our house at blank address)
hence an excellent reason
as lamely iterated above
not to straighten up
my sleeping quarters,
or... rather lesser portion
of bedroom yours truly
then shared with my younger sister,
when writer of these words
just a diminutive lad,
who wished and envied himself

to be the diminutive little boy
(analogous to Jack Wild in Oliver)
at Baker Park day camp
named Stuart (or spelled Stewart) Gillett.

I did literally shortchange
natural born propensity
to witness maximum development
of body, mind, and spirit
when psyche whipsawed
by the vagaries of social anxiety,
panic attacks,
and obsessive compulsive disorder
(psychological maladies shortlisted
to spare the reader his/her tolerance
to endure umpteenth regurgitation
of boyhood, adolescent
and emerging adult mental health ills)
attempting to stave off bidding adieu
to a childhood's end mourned,
no matter fictitiously envisioned
formative years idyll reveries
analogous to present prevarication
being a Norwegian bachelor farmer
in Lake Woebegone,
where cessation of degradation
courtesy intubation, supported jollification
think (Potemkin Village)
bolstering façade and charade
of a faux gone existence.

Hypothetical arbitrary
definition of methodization
exemplified by eldest sister
(when as an an ace student
during convincingly
feigned rapt chores,
where the order of the day
pitted shushed obedient kids
subjected to elementary
my dear Watson pedagogical blather),
nevertheless she displayed
immaculate artistic renderings
courtesy the device
used during every grade
whether at primary,
junior and senior high school
to project images onto a screen,
where a teacher
would place transparent sheets
with written information,
called an overhead projector.

These projectors often referred to as OPs,
according to an article
on Larry Cuban's blog.

They were also sometimes
informally called a "Belshazzar".

Since the universe
abhorred the apotheosis
of parochial law and order
as epitomized
by aforementioned eldest sibling's
buzzfeeding with extremely
neat and groovy note-taking,
and hence succeeded
as a straight A student
completing dozen
***** deeds done dirt cheap
thru first to twelfth grade
with flying colors,
who as a nature lover to boot
shunned killing live specimens
from a young age
and ingeniously fantastic star student
got the lion's share
born sympathetic and empathetic
toward all creatures great and small,
(whose insect collection project
assignment for seventh grade -
where she pinned
dead critters to styrofoam board
and accompanied with drawings
with her exquisite left hand
validated her artistic penchant
that southpaws gifted
with predilection toward phenomenal
exact printing and drawing
preceding me by approximately
thirteen plus months prior
to my scrawny debut
in the webbed wide world,
where yours truly ranked
as most convenient scapegoat
where utter chaos reigned supreme
as evidenced and exemplified
by illegible chicken scratch
and deplorable messiness
to assigned hurt locker of mine.

alternately titled: tick tock runneth amuck
seconds elapse imperceptibly
leaving me dumbstruck,
how quickly fleeting tempus fugit;
ofttimes imagined as time thief.

Hence following vignette: quiet as a mouse lurks the time thief

The invisible hours hoarder stealthily steals precious seconds (like minute hors d'oeuvres) away during the dead of night surreptitiously and unsuspectingly robs and buries me alive by subtracting each and every precious second of my tender life.

As the world spins, the days fly by at nearly the hummingbird wings at the deathly hallow supersonic sound, this little elfin grot sized goniff (groomed by Father Time) monopolizes and usurps a greater role like some unwanted guest who overstays his welcome.

Mortality (visited by quick and painless demise) on the other hand would be an especial balm, relief and tonic to my countless decades long existential slog, which this model ’59 hew man cargo happens to be in sore need and want of that fairy tale genie in a bottle to grant me eternity.

How quickly the hands blindingly **** by instantaneously eclipsing memories from yesterday (when all my troubles seemed so far away) as I just barely shucked off the frock from today.

Meanwhile faint hints of tomorrow (albeit dark shadows creeping imperceptibly closer from the edge of night as all my children frolic in the summer of their blissful innocence totally oblivious to the galloping generational gourmand grandfatherly clocker) hungrily prowling on the outskirts of styx strewn groveling grooved globe.

Nocturnal creatures emerged from respective hideouts regaling in fleeting festivities (apropos to their species/ genus) before the curtain rises on another dawning day.

Although an unseen yet palpable grim harbinger (per prescribed existential allowance) precedes, and allocates finite years sans spontaneous birth of life, the daily hubbub finds this introspective individual self-absorbed in gloom.

Thus, he infrequently finds himself conscious of that eye popping, jaw dropping, mind boggling sheer speed of light flash representative of his passing life. Where in the world did those days, weeks, months, years, and decades go? Try as one might to catch the robber baron of ages, he/she also appears to be at least one second ahead.

These immeasurable micro moments appear to leap ever faster as one inches closer to that average length of longevity. Odd though, that these indiscriminate discrete constituent parts of being consciousness well nigh impossible to isolate, yet recognition prevails at cradle to grave cycle.

I feel utterly dumbstruck at diminishing residence on this planet now while walking along the boulevard of broken dreams. An indistinguishable blur (akin to the brushstroke of an artist across blank palette yet to be covered with an unpredictable product) the only evidence that tempus fugit.

Now as one crotchety curmudgeon contemplating cumulative chapters of mein kampf (from childhood to doddering sexagenarian senescence), nostalgia for yesteryear like a parasite symbiotically festering inside for unrequited liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

The second these minute, gnarled, bent arthritic fingers manage to lay hands on that bleeping son of a blank, hours and days will be like one endless months long week-end without parental supervision.

Throughout mankind's awakened consciousness
elusive abstract notion
identifying past, present, and future
adopted as avuncular personification;
Father Time an apropos sobriquet
impossible concept to grasp
within the mind of one Finnish huckabuck,
whose clodhoppers get mired in muckamuck
analogous to quicksand yours truly stuck
markedly challenged, hence
mission scuttled when attempting to zuck.

Ever since the advent of civilization
contrivances crafted to measure
days, weeks, months...
years, decades, centuries...
analytical “gifted” anonymous minds,
wrought ever more sophisticated inventions
to divide existence into manageable units.

Now twenty first century **** sapiens
technological atomic clock work mechanisms
markedly catapulted by quantum leaps
immense degrees of precision  
extremely accurate types of devices
linkedin with state of the art electronics.

At this fleeting instant
(approximately 8:18 AM
September 13th, 2022)
ever so briefly wedged between
what elapsed and future events to arise)
impossible mission to isolate
that illusory present,

not only cuz the herein now
flits away at light speed
(or greater - you're right quite dubious),
but also everywhere within
cosmic space/time continuum
infinite microscopic and
macroscopic events occur.

As an amateur thinker
I feel baffled when pondering
that crude convenient schema
whereby greater minds than mine
devised devices to measure passage of time.

Yours truly can barely articulate
his farfetched dumbfoundedness,
me merely a simple brute
(shortish but not so nasty),
whose permanently creased
furrowed brow courtesy
his scrutinizing noggin
encasing fifty plus shades of gray matter,

whereby one percent bonafide Neanderthal
deoxyribonucleic acid explains
atavistic predilection issuing primal grunting,
when foraging for small (lame) game,
cuz feeble minded twenty first century
run of the mill garden variety **** sapiens
amuses himself (mentally)
toying with Einsteinian paradigm.

Though barely able to fathom
mind bending and boggling concepts
theoretically linkedin if an object
subjected to travel speed of light
(particularly an objet d'art - ha

think The Persistence of Memory
series of clock paintings by Salvador Dali)
mass becomes infinite
as does energy required to move entity.

Obviously the ability to wrap one's head
(or hands for that matter) around,
humongous (super sized) material essence
filling subsequent seconds, minutes, hours...
defies feasibility to grasp,

neither could ways nor means
allow, enable and provide
any semblance to hold (tangibly) as solid
something so abstract
as a singular moment, yes?

The above (ambiguously stated) thought exercise
equally as challenging where to locate
beginning and/or ending point
upon Möbius strip.

Affixed with appellation Boyce Brandon Harris,
who helped beget thyself and mine two siblings,
and equally out of the question
to avoid remembering our (said) papa
with advent of father's day 2021.

Averse toward crass commercialization
purportedly touting the hardy laurels
regarding male parental figure(s)
allowing, enabling and providing
unconditional kudos to each and every
virile, retractile, and ******
opportunistic marriageable goodfella
poised to strike twenty four seven
three hundred sixty five days per anum.

Though less personal than celebrating
anniversary of birth
said modification acknowledging
universal acknowledgement of daddy
once accorded as
stereotypical "bread winner"
touted all across the Earth
buzzfeeding countless cooing mouths
linkedin whose gesticulating
baby fingers and toes
animated with mirth.

Special occasions accentuating
family in general or parent in particular
unleash floodgates of sorrow
demarcating onset of initial grief
(October 7th, 2020
regarding death of beloved father),
yet these unexpected melancholy bursts
punctuating the absence of
dad also generate
instances for original
poetic/ literary creativity
or reference (albeit self plagiarism)

Boyce Brandon Harris – Bright Brooklyn Bruiser
(alternately titled: Zayda born April 9th, 1929).

E'er since birth,
his daring didst not abate
the penultimate most spectacular
concrete incontestable product
constituting biological offspring
developing, fashioning,
and incubating chromosomal gene nee us,
he unwittingly didst create

encoded whence he got conceived
approximately begat circa
July nineteen twenty eight,
and hence upon April ninth

two thousand and eighteen
cometh denoting exceptional great
ness among kith and kin innate
awareness to take stock and celebrate,
how a series of fortunate events
commencing with a date
to Harriet Kuritsky
(at that time, yet to pledge her troth)

accepting storied handsome fellow,
whose constitution sturdy as "forest" timber
(definition of groom) to be lawfully wedded wife...
until death do them part)
unwittingly marriage didst emancipate
my mother, who met a awful, cruel
and terminal undeserving fate,
which tortured demise, the grim reaper

gladly, gleefully, and glibly
held her steadfast
thru death decreed grate
a permanent life sentence,
she vehemently did hate
and fiercely fought tooth and nail
(unimaginable to me,
thee sole son), how
agonizingly bitterly clearly irate

such suffering wrenched, wrought, wrung
August marriage permanently
cleft by malicious, nefarious,
and opprobrious tongue
no heroic measures, only lamentation slung
upon the livingsocial clinging,
where grief rung

every last ounce,
though thru each passing year
thy mum gone seventeen orbitz
round the sun, that shear
ring raw emotion
still persists in concert with lear
ring grimace of deathly hallows, 'ere
obstinate heart ache lessened now
since papa found bliss
in which to steer the prow
of his four score and eleven
aged ship of state row
wing (or more or less peacefully drifting)
berthed in consonant with vow
wills - a staunch spirit didst wow!

Oddly enough even
when frolicking in the autumn mist
with seasoned super tramping
cheaply tricked out goo goo dolls
some resembling Indigo Girls,
one foo fighting beastie boy
unable to adjust snoozing
on the left bedside.

Don't ask me why,
cuz we (all the barenaked ladies
who gifted me
with their uncommon
sense and sensibility) did make
a conscientious effort and try
behind closed doors to pry
ourselves loose from convention
impossible mission to modify behavior
indelibly etched in consciousness
since being knee-high,
each of us sought safety secured
snuggled in the ***** of mommy dearest
in an effort to thwart the bogeyman,
whose breastworks did protect and electrify
with severe shock
aforementioned unwanted intruder.

Even as an older kid shelter sought
against adversity climbing into bed
particularly our favorite parent's side
to skedaddle away from wild things
roam'n the hallways
nightmarish creatures prowled
even bravest in the family did dread
of course when lights flicked on
they (scary fiends) fled,
no matter monsters

solely residing in the head,
especially if male offspring
sung at length about courtesy
Eminem and Rihanna
and christened Jed
(which from the Hebrew
translated means beloved of god)
the second or "blessing" name
given by God
through the prophet Nathan

in infancy to Solomon,
second son of
King David and Bathsheba,
whose steely mettle
exemplary existence he led
I prized, honored, coveted,
et cetera his as a newlywed,
when me and the missus our troth we pled
unwaveringly, unstintingly, unhesitatingly,
and unconditionally accepted
the marriage vows read

to us courtesy Henry J. Schireson
a Pennsylvania magisterial district judge
for Montgomery County Magisterial District
nevertheless yours truly
violated sacred covenant,
and traipsed, tiptoed, and tallied
with **** wacker through the tulips
(analogous for illicit extramarital liaisons),
where angels feared to tread.

Courtesy William Congreve's
'The Mourning Bride' (1697) I quote
"Heaven has no rage
like love to hatred turned,
nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned."

The permanent contra dance partner
accepted viz justice of the peace
legal asseveration as thee wife
July twenty twenty fifth
nineteen ninety six
none to pleased to discover visa vis
her husband prided himself
on discreet rendezvous,
which multiple escapades
donning Lothario role,
nevertheless found yours truly
inexplicably witnessing himself,
albeit non verbally communicating
courtesy tactile pillow talk

while I situated myself
er lied supinely as Phil Anderer
on the right side facing
nexus, lexus and lectus
which last mentioned word
could be single bed for one person
or double for a couple;
sometimes made of bronze
and often made of wood
and decorated with moldings
of mother of pearl or bronze,
and animal-like legs:
the more simple ones
constituted of terracotta.

Said aforementioned experience
being Casanova went awry
major adjustment to appease
and whet appetite of paramour
lost moxie to do the wild thang
after premature ejaculations
plus fount of endearments went dry
guilt riddled conscience
(people who have been chosen
from the general public
to listen to the facts about a crime)
**** read hung jury
namely cuz ******* consummated,

which unbridled ****** fricassee
clamored to alleviate celibate state,
an August occasion even
during dead of winter ~2010
frisky antics betook me,
(who convinced married gal
I met thru Craigslist personals)
to infamous “**** rock”
at Valley Forge National Park
schlepping over and across
knee deep ice and snow,
one ***** goat
to attain ******* Harris fulfillment
didst precariously vie.

Although adultery, cupidity,
felicity, infidelity, et cetera
undermined, ostracized husband,
hijacked harmony, and
aggravated twenty seven years
of potential wedded bliss
(even harder to bring to fruition
than conceiving offspring),
neither the missus nor myself
(the mister re: man, an android at heart)
could not succumb to our slumbers
baiting, counting, dreaming
of electric sheep futile

upon testing, jump/kickstarting,
experimenting, et cetera
whereupon I lied supine upon
the left side (facing the bed),
and she attempted
to await the dream weaver
comfortably sprawled out
on the right side,
yet both of us wide awake
after the bewitching hour,
henceforth we resigned ourselves
as creatures of habit
to reclaim zzz land territory.