the fire is flic-
ker-
ring i wonder how it will be to breathe
smokeless air and
hate myself for doing so

where will this rain go?
it has ruined my dry-timber bones
i am smoldering embers
shivering.

then- clouds clear &
clear laughter.
how blind was i not to see
the magic is not in the flower
who shines the brightest
because she loved the sun
it is in the flower
who blooms
because she believed in the moon

I.
I can feel the crush of her blueberry eyes
in the grip of your skin.
She stains
the sheets between our twister games,
that scuffle in your bed at night.
and I just can’t wash out
the echoes that she's left in your eyes
where I have turned  
invisible.

This is my goodbye.

II.
You once said, in the heat of your embrace,
that you wanted to hold me close
because I spoke like things
had more meaning than they really did.

But I am not written in braille,
you do not have to touch me to
know me.

III.
I cannot recall the day when I transformed from
your golden chrysanthemum to
the torn-up library book
that you gave and took back
as you pleased.

IV.
I hate the way you kiss
because your lips leave sticky-note
reminders
of the last people you left behind. I fear
my fate will be the same.

V.
The movement of your hips
rippling like waves between my sands
is
overwhelming. Just
stop.

VI.
I will never trust you.

VII.
I feel like a flower.
Standing silent against the heavy rain.
Releasing all my wearied petals in
the coming storm.

This is goodbye.

November 25, 2013 1:09 PM

I am a man
Who screams by night
And smiles by day.
I look at myself, I don't see me anymore
Just a shell from before, empty and haggard.
My eyes have lost their shine.
The path ahead forgotten
Trudging through mud, looking to the sky.
Now I know for certain, soon I will die.
Not from coincidence or neglect;
From these hands of mine.

...after what feels like years of falling off the horse and being advised by well meaning friends that the best course of action is to get right back on, it has dawned on me that rather than falling off the horse I am indeed being thrown, as demonstrated by the invariable trampling I receive while trying to regain my feet. I have therefore decided to take this as life's way of telling me to stay the **** away from horses.

there is a cardinal in the twilight
on a branch in between
an evenings blue and me
it's quiet in the eve
it's still beneath his claws
but i can't know his color
or his call
but i know the blue
between his red and me.

I am sewing a dress
with the thread of strength,
And knots of ambitions,
And when it’s ready,
Then will iron it
with the remission,
I am sewing my broken soul!

By: Nida Mahmoed.