I am so ******* happy
for the first time in years

Finally no more sitting
on the ground
choking back tears

Can I rejoice?

To be a stupid pawn
in this game called Life
was not my choice

But oh, thank god
thank god, thank god,

It's over.
It's over and we don't have to talk about it anymore.

Mindless nightmares
Soft, silent breath
Nobody there
Just awaiting **death

I took a pass on how risky love was,
and take the easy road
that was laid upon me...

Then I realize
i miss some chances
on happiness
just to
shape-up a future
that will always be uncertain...

In a beautiful brown cardigan clutching each rocker arm , whispering a hymn to herself , smiling as Earths canvas , painted by Persimmon , Sweetgum , Oak in rapid escape before her . First sunlight upon brown blade .. A matriarchs recollections , good will and nurture released just as the leaves before her ...Red for uncompromising , passionate love . Brown for a tender touch . Yellow for honor regardless of duress ! Green for Harvest , family and tending garden .. Well planned rows , tilled , harrowed a year and one day , situated seedlings devoid of ****  , rock or encumbrance followed by Fall harvest . On a Winter day I watched a Maple leaf fall from the canopy , lighting upon her grave , assuring me that love will remain the same , seeking frosted moor , ethereal , soaring , within reach , ready to be called upon ! . Eternal ...

It's not pretty.
It's not pleasant.
It's not ******* hip.

It runs through your body
while your mind is still processing what's happening.
You feel like you're going to die.

You can't breathe.
You can't think.
You can't control your body.

And you just wanna scream,
Only you can't.

And tears fall from your face
like raindrops on a crispy morning.
While you gasp for air,
you only wish you'd be normal.

Stop making it "cool"!
It isn't cool!

This isn't something you wish upon a star,
This is something you've to learn how to deal with,
Or you'll let your life be consumed by uncontrollable fear,
Of never having control over your mind and body.

If you knew how it felt to go through life,
And never knowing if you're going to allow yourself
To live in the moment, to enjoy the present,
Without worrying about the future or the past.
You'd not wish to have this disease!

Stop! Stop making this disease a fashion choice,
It's not a ******* choice!
It's something you're forced to live with!

You kick the dust
Turn and leave
And I really want to scream don't go
But I don't
Because that just wouldn't be the right thing to do
And because it really is ok