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See,
my problems
seem to stem
from those three words.
that now, i have promised
To never let escape these lips
Hah. Now really. Who believes that?
It's funny
Cause once upon a time
I believed love wouldn't **** you
But save you.

But now I know to respect
Love's
A serial killing paramedic.
Alchemical cruelty,
Turns my metal heart to gold.
Your love was a futility,
that no star foretold.
Astrology.
Biology.
Eulogy.
I'm sick. Not
physically. close enough though.
because
you're not close enough.
To heal. Me
symptom of love sickness: Poetry
i was here before.
alone…  looking...  searching…
               until you came with the same reasons.


i was busy.
toxic…  weary…  ******…
              you gave me reason to spare my time.


i was never sensitive.
naïve...  clueless...  plain…
              until you care to share your world.


i began to find joy.
blissful...  active...  inspired…
                 you made it more blissful. more active. more inspired.


i got to know you.
shallow...  closer...  personal…
                 you hesitantly bare yourself.


i found your value.
care for you...  miss you...  need you…
                 you? i just don’t know.


i started to contemplate.
seek...  reflect…  realize…
             you were self-assured.


i fell in love.
slowly...  deeply…  strongly…
              you have no idea.


i decided to be vocal.
honest…  straight...  determined…
             you have doubted my emotion.


i told you i love you with pure intention…
          you said no, it was just infatuation


CSantaMaria
Our lips were close, yet never touching
the residue alone became quite addicting....
The time has come

I can never again be
your friend...
neither will a curse
ever pass my lips...
I will
never
be your
enemy.

I know
from time to time
a prayer
for you
will
spontaneously
rise to my lips.
Nor will I ever
attempt
to withhold
or deny it.
It is destined
and will be
delivered
to God
the giver of life.

In another life
our paths crossed...

you were once
my brother
my dearest friend
my husband
my lover...

YOU WERE THE VERY
LOVE
OF MY LIFE.

you are gone
no more to be found

you walked away

a page has turned

and it is blank

my back has turned
I walk away
God takes my hand

sometimes
He dries my tears
like now

sometimes
He carries me

other times
we walk together

I climb the stairs
I see the light

I leave the world
of
the living dead

I will
never
be the same

I am
New

Reborn.

cj   2016
written a long, long time ago, and well-survived....funny how terrible occurrences turn out to be such blessings, but you would never think it while you are going through it....
words spoken in feeling
never die or grow old
promises made not broken
bond
hearts torn apart
what gets
remembered
is the
few times
the caring
gets returned
The man who lives in a mailbox
Sings his song alone
The rent he says is reasonable
And he likes the tone.

He sings:
I possess but what I have
That time does not remove.
All the castles all the kings
Are never here alone.
Brave parades and cheerful tunes
Do not the truth disprove.
We are each a single soul
And never here alone.
Never here alone.

His song is sung to passersby
Always much surprised
To pass a mailbox, hear a song
Coming from inside.

He sings:
I possess but what I have
That time does not remove.
All the castles all the kings
Are never here alone.
Brave parades and cheerful tunes
Do not the truth disprove.
We are each a single soul
And never here alone.
Never here alone.

Now, some protest, they say he’s mad
They tell him he is wrong
And some ignore his choice of home
And listen to his song.

He sings:
I possess but what I have
That time does not remove.
All the castles all the kings
Are never here alone.
Brave parades and cheerful tunes
Do not the truth disprove.
We are each a single soul
And never here alone.
Never here alone.
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