I wanted to be a friend who cares
But if abusive and arrogant
Then cautiously and most probably
Not "a lot" anymore

Darkness existed first.

I still wish for you.
My heart don't exactly leap
When I see you
But other times
I drown
With necessity and hesitation
I unbuckle my heart
And steady my knees
This life indeed is a waning moon.

Nah day mura baya gyud ko og iro nga way tag.iya
Maghal-hal ra ko sa imong atubangan hangtod imo
Kung tagdon ug gitik-gitikon gamay akong tiyan.
Magtulo pa gani ang laway kung init kaayo
Pero ayaw lang gyud ug kabalaka day
Wala bitaw koy kuto.

But if you can live with enough
Then why do you need much?

Love can be felt as if it's something new.
Like it wasn't the leftover from yesterday's memory.
Love, I now know, cannot grow old.
Maybe that's why it's eternal

It's either love or vengeance
No healing in between
Because love
is not a sickness and vengeance
My friend cannot be healed.

the path i took
welcomed no strangers
so when i am lost
i am lost alone

Lewis' words are for the uncertain,
Unconvinced and prideful
Indeed, there is no middle ground
To the fight and life
No middle ground left
For your shaking feet
Alas, grovel or crawl
But no middle ground left.

It's the division
That causes diversion
From the real reason
Why there's a nation.

From the classic white and black
To the queer and straight
Take it a step further
And we'll reach heaven and hell.

Ever wonder why there's a lease
Beyond the acts and protocols
That only binds and blinds
Slowly dimming our wits and our eyes.

Blunt barricade, sharpened doors
Batons as heavy as our souls
Houdini cannot unloose
Seamed and woven by our ironic prose.

When we get too tired, we falter
Like the static and bump
In your humming and pulsating silence
Tell me, are you tired hanging from the tree?

A clenched fist through the sheet
A perverted creaking of the bed
A shudder and a gasp
A stain mixing with sweat.

No pillow talk for now darling
Even midnight is dozing off
But if you shall insist
We can make the first stanza our encore.

No. I don't think that my Japanese exam tomorrow
Is more important than my soul mending poetry writing night
I can feel the star dust flowing through my eyes
And right now I can feel I need some patching up
Or else I'll dry up.

Something does this to you.
Like the world is some sort of a very strong electric fan
Or a broken air conditioner that causes you cold and flu
And all sorts of energy ******* monster.

But all you need is a poetry night
Just to shine on your thoughts and dance
And remember honeybunch that you
You are a magical flying butterfly that needs it's honey.

I don't need a monologue about freeing love
I want to talk about the binding ones
The ones that leaves no bruises
But broken bones and torn muscles
Hidden
and the love limps
aches, shakes and longs to quit
To crawl away from this madness of heaven
But as I've said, binding.

How can you kiss me
With steady fingers?

I need a new brand of poetry
Because my love letters
Are starting to sound like a broken tape
Or a slap dash suicide note.

Two kinds of everything in this city
The one we forget and the one we can't.

You understand death while you still have life
But not the other way around;

If only you're brave enough
To touch me where it hurts the most
Or too hold me when I flinched
Or when I clenched instead of to uncurl.

I guess we're still too young
Too feel the urgency
Of holding on until it bruises
Too young to feel the cold.

Darling, for now let's just be
A breath away
We're still cowards under the rain
Don't worry, we'll learn after this.

My poetry teacher said
A poem is a mystery
But I find it superficial
Because it is no mystery why I'm writing this.

When it falls
When it falls
When it falls
It just falls

Just like me
Just like me
Just like me
Falling, just me.

But it is yours.
Red rose petals
Like drops of blood
It's always the blood
That makes me cringe
Like the thread on our fingers
Tangled and useless
I see there's a connection
But I see blood in your fingernails
I wonder where you got that?
Ahhh. I remember, we held hands last night.

I hope I can compose
A melody out of this screeching pain
So I can play it to you even while you sleep
So you can feel your ears bleed like how my heart did.

I hope you'll dream of me
Thrusting notes down your throat
And I won't stop even after the curtain closes
Until you get it right. Until we get it right.

Because this love is obsessive
It's destructive than nuclear weapons
Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined
Can't compare to our aftermath.

But if you drop bombs like that
Make sure you got yourself protected.
Or have you gotten so used
To the aftermath that you rather
Liked sniffing the smoke and running
Around on the still warm ashes?

"I knew you never loved me", I said.
He said, "But I would always remember you."

But I just don't call my pain, 'ache'.
I call it like how I call my lover
During midnight when everything is so close
Yet so distant and warm.

Love
It's good for the soul
But not always safe
Then again, what is?

Do not rock the boat
Nor destroy the harmony
Of the community and society
Of honorable people
Who abhors abortion
But shames teenage parents.
Who points fingers
and throws stones
Knowing they deserve as much.

It's part of their daily rosary
To beg for forgiveness
Kneel for a hour and a half
Just so they can vindicate
Their ugly hearts.
It's part of their holy routine
To have a dry and rocky stares
And ****** ignore the helpless ***.

Oh smog! Such ugly snots!
Breathe your first
And condemn your last
Salvation is not for us.

God bless my soul
When I reach for you
A fruit with the snake
Hissing and enticing me
To take a bite
Taste the sin

Snow can't hide your tears, you know?
It's an unwilling home to the sick at heart.
But rain cries with you.
It pats your head when you need a friend.

It carries your tears down to your body
Making your pores know
That this my friend
is how subtle grief tastes like.

And let's not talk about
The real solid grief because that again my friend
Defies the gravity of tears
You can stand in the snow and not melt it.

I guess it's better for us to be under the rain
When we're served an extra dish
Blood through our veins and a twitch to the heart
And whether you like it or not
Force your tears. Let it dry under the rain. Cure your heart.

So you can stand back in the snow
And plot your vengeance
Because a dry and snowy place
Is a beautiful crime scene, you know.

Sweats rolling down my thighs
Eyes closing like the end of a play
"To be or not to be"
But here I am in between the clench and a hiss.

Like a song
Slowly, slowly humming and building
The chorus trembles the harmony
Big Bang can't compare to this.

When I am grasping for you
It's like chasing summer all around the continents
The heat that serenades your heart
Shining upon those caverns of iced droplets
Which heavens forbids
To be walked upon
or be gazed on.

"Attacks me and hugs me
And forces the breathe out of me
Almost kills me
But kinda also loves me."

Isn't that the sweetest?

'Wag muna nating tuldukan
Ang paglalakbay sa dilim
Kung saan ito patungo
Alamin muna natin bago gumabi

Malay mo sulit pala ang lahat ng luha at tula
Ang mga pakikinig sa ulan
Ang mga bakanteng titig sa kawalan
Ang madalas na pagpigil sa sariling tumakbo palayo

Palayo sa hapo
Sa sakit na medyo sobra na
Sa pilit na bulong na 'kaya pa'
Siguro, siguro...

Palapit na ang bituin at buwan
Magsisimula na ang sayaw ng mga alitaptap
Kaya dito muna tayo
Wag muna nating tuldukan.

For the crown is heavy
The bearer's neck should not be infested
By malicious bite marks.
The head should not be empty

In the worst case scenario
It should be filled with poetry.

A day will come
That I will be more than my feelings.
More than my heartbreak
Yes, more than my heartbreak.

It's funny how you can elevate
My heartbeat and anxiety
And you, oblivious to my suffering
Can breath without a pause and hesitation.

A day will come
That I will no longer care if we shared
That same laughter or that glance
Or even care to check if your presence is close to mine.

But for now, I'll breathe
Though lumpy and not without a sigh
Though unsteady and thin
This uncertain breath can still sustain me.

After the Tohoku earthquake
Silence shadowed the ones left to weep
But it's not for long
Because the numbing faded away
And the storm signaled the remains of the lost love.

You are the soul behind my every "you"
The silences in between my giggles
The last face I remember before I drift off
I always have a space for you.

But walk your way and create your own murals
Serve your hands and your minds
Breathe all kinds of air, be the eagle that you are
But there's just no putting it gently, I'll always always be here.

Waiting for your feathers to land
Waiting for you to rest your heart
Waiting for your presence to be close to mine
I'll always always be here.

I don't know how long these feelings will last.
But for some reason I seem to treasure it.
So so much.
I write for it and about it.


Hoping that when the time comes
I'll remember you as a person
Who made me feel storms
While my shirt is dripping with sweat.


I don't want to just forget you.
Make me scarred and shaking and vulnerable
From grief or love or whatever it is you can give
But, please, make me remember.

Love is graceful this time
It left me marks and bruises
Not from anger but from
Fighting too hard
And from breathing too fast
To get to you and to finally rest
With my face buried in your hands.

I once flew in the same air
As the one you're swimming.

No. We don't stop until we create bruises
On places that should be sacred and holy.

Some nights I shake inside
Uncontrollably.

It's useless meddling with things
You can't comprehend
Eternity. Forever. Afterlife.
Just stop it. All we have is uncertainty.
Maybe today is enough. Just today.

No and my love is never tender
For it's written on rocks
And something written on rocks is never tender
If anything, it is with force and brutality.

And I hope you are okay with that.

How far would you go
To save a life hardly your own
Not your own beating
And certainly not your dance

Would you take a leap
A beating or two
A slap in the face
Or take a stand?

And I'm gonna tell you darling
You gotta do all those things
To save yourself
Yes, your life.

For I cannot hold or follow a thought
Longer than two sentences and I'm maybe insecure
In my callousness and my immobility
Or maybe I'm just content with my gaze
Reaching yours but either way
It's just me lacking sleep
And having to much bed err bug bites.

This one is tested and proven
Though there's no published journal
Or any sort of paper, peer reviewed and rated
This one is a science of its own.

When you're feeling under the weather
Or just feeling down and sad
Try gratitude for there's a whole village
To be thankful about.

I don't know
But these times
It seem colder than before
More lonely. More sad.

Since summer is long gone
I don't know
What to cover first
My heart or my skin?