the path i took
welcomed no strangers
so when i am lost
i am lost alone

'Wag muna nating tuldukan
Ang paglalakbay sa dilim
Kung saan ito patungo
Alamin muna natin bago gumabi

Malay mo sulit pala ang lahat ng luha at tula
Ang mga pakikinig sa ulan
Ang mga bakanteng titig sa kawalan
Ang madalas na pagpigil sa sariling tumakbo palayo

Palayo sa hapo
Sa sakit na medyo sobra na
Sa pilit na bulong na 'kaya pa'
Siguro, siguro...

Palapit na ang bituin at buwan
Magsisimula na ang sayaw ng mga alitaptap
Kaya dito muna tayo
Wag muna nating tuldukan.

'Twas the end to all days
The moon will cast its light tonight
Tomorrow laughter will resound
Of joys and mocking sadness
But the care has been cast to wind
Upon the abandonment of life
You'd know there's no honor in silence.

When I am grasping for you
It's like chasing summer all around the continents
The heat that serenades your heart
Shining upon those caverns of iced droplets
Which heavens forbids
To be walked upon
or be gazed on.

Go implies leaving.
The separation of ways.
And of course the unsaid 'whys'.

It's either love or vengeance
No healing in between
Because love
is not a sickness and vengeance
My friend cannot be healed.

I don't need a monologue about freeing love
I want to talk about the binding ones
The ones that leaves no bruises
But broken bones and torn muscles
Hidden
and the love limps
aches, shakes and longs to quit
To crawl away from this madness of heaven
But as I've said, binding.

With God's presumably infinite memory
Will He remember me?
Or if He does
How will he?
Will he remember how I spat at His commandments?
Or will he remember the crying girl
Who cried and promised anything
For Him to save her mother?

It's a lie lived until~
Because you can never lie quietly
Lie keeps on burning
Knocking it's exit
But you, yours
It was like wind
Always there, always cold
How did you live with it
Without breaking a sweat?
How did you live with it
knowing I might shed a tear?

"I knew you never loved me", I said.
He said, "But I would always remember you."

She's that message you stare for too long
Or dismissed as non-existent
That cigarette you consider as the danger
Or sniffed like your life line.
She simply is that
A bringer of smile
Or on bad days, your demon.

Two kinds of everything in this city
The one we forget and the one we can't.

It always feels like
It's never quite done.

Give me my daily dose of pessimism and grief
To keep me in my guardrail
And into the light
Suffocate me but give me enough warm
To keep my soul burning and craving
And into the light
I shall meet you.

Lewis' words are for the uncertain,
Unconvinced and prideful
Indeed, there is no middle ground
To the fight and life
No middle ground left
For your shaking feet
Alas, grovel or crawl
But no middle ground left.

There has to be a difference
In order to call another 'being' another.

But if you can live with enough
Then why do you need much?

But whether we come to our senses
And admit this
We are wired to want something eternal
If you think that something which will fade in a day or two
Is enough for you then fool, that's what you are.

And it's okay to be a fool. We are all.
It just means that you need education
And practice
And God.

When  I was a tot
Poetry meant rhymes
A voluntary measuring of words
To get A's
But now that my heart has experienced fault
And sorrow
Poetry came to mean
As an entrance
To leave the nagging burden
A healing
To lessen the sobs
But not to **** it.

I am yet to find
A way to settle
With the disappointment
That after giving my all
Everyday and work hard
And still fail by this world's standard.

Then maybe I should change my
Own definition of success
And failure
To suit my goal
To keep me within the guardrails.

I can live with pain if it's distributed equally.
So suffer my love. I don't care if it's from grief
Or from a broken toe.
My love has been corrupted
And I know it's evil and unbecoming
But I am vexed and hopeless
And I need you to come back. Please.

It's useless meddling with things
You can't comprehend
Eternity. Forever. Afterlife.
Just stop it. All we have is uncertainty.
Maybe today is enough. Just today.

I'm dying to know if this love is a fraternity
A lobby to the endangered discipline and fault
When the so called collective wisdom orders 'NO'
What are you gonna do?

Which part of your morose body
Should I put in the casket?
Should I left out your hands
Which caressed my face until bruises
Formed like landmarks?

You say "even in this world"
As if you've tried another
As if you've lived in one
As if you've embraced another arms

You, my darling, has been
And always will be
The center interest of my life
Even in this world.

You understand death while you still have life
But not the other way around;

For the crown is heavy
The bearer's neck should not be infested
By malicious bite marks.
The head should not be empty

In the worst case scenario
It should be filled with poetry.

Sometimes
Even my emptiness feels empty

I understand why sometimes
We feel that someone somewhere owes us happiness
Because we didn't ask to be here.
I didn't ask to be here.

In unconsciousness, we find unexpected peace.
And anxiety while we still have it.

Death is not something we experience.
Death is one of some things that ends all experience.
Now, I'm not saying that only death can make you feel numb and distant
What I'm merely saying is that death is more definite.

Love can be felt as if it's something new.
Like it wasn't the leftover from yesterday's memory.
Love, I now know, cannot grow old.
Maybe that's why it's eternal

After the Tohoku earthquake
Silence shadowed the ones left to weep
But it's not for long
Because the numbing faded away
And the storm signaled the remains of the lost love.

We are cold.
Whether measured by the sun's standard
Or by the sound made by the clouds.
But right now an unrecognized feeling
Is creating a filter through my eyes.

This feeling is so strong and irrevocably true
That I'm left wishing that it's pure.

And tonight I am not gonna turn off the trickling of the faucet.
I am going to let its sound drive me to sleep.
I am going to ignore the carelessness of my act.
Just for this night, the faucet will cry for me.
Or maybe with me.

No. I don't think that my Japanese exam tomorrow
Is more important than my soul mending poetry writing night
I can feel the star dust flowing through my eyes
And right now I can feel I need some patching up
Or else I'll dry up.

Something does this to you.
Like the world is some sort of a very strong electric fan
Or a broken air conditioner that causes you cold and flu
And all sorts of energy ******* monster.

But all you need is a poetry night
Just to shine on your thoughts and dance
And remember honeybunch that you
You are a magical flying butterfly that needs it's honey.

I need a new brand of poetry
Because my love letters
Are starting to sound like a broken tape
Or a slap dash suicide note.

I promised myself I won't drink alcohol anymore.
I'm waiting for that day that I'm going to break my promise.

No and my love is never tender
For it's written on rocks
And something written on rocks is never tender
If anything, it is with force and brutality.

And I hope you are okay with that.

But I just don't call my pain, 'ache'.
I call it like how I call my lover
During midnight when everything is so close
Yet so distant and warm.

Here's to the sound of the fan
When everyone's asleep except for my anxiety
And his best friend, obsession.
To the empty glass, old tapes and a cat figurine
I'm nearing my end, so please watch as I go to sleep.

No. We don't stop until we create bruises
On places that should be sacred and holy.

I wanted to be a friend who cares
But if abusive and arrogant
Then cautiously and most probably
Not "a lot" anymore

But I feel like there's something in me
That's too sunny to be hidden
In my usually depressed personality
And I'd like it to burst

Like happiness
And warm hugs
And kisses and smiles
So bear and be with me.

This one is tested and proven
Though there's no published journal
Or any sort of paper, peer reviewed and rated
This one is a science of its own.

When you're feeling under the weather
Or just feeling down and sad
Try gratitude for there's a whole village
To be thankful about.

Lying has become my bad habit
A small lie gnawing and growing
Until I can lie without a blink
On how I don't care anymore.

Actually, it's quite helpful
Now moving on is a step away
But then, I'm afraid it'll take its toll on me
Nothing comes for free, this I know.

You can see a physical manifestation
Of my momentary affection for your soul
Pale skin and bags under the eyes
Chapped soles and long nails

Dry lips
Hollow cheeks
Broken heart
And of course, raspy lungs

Today I'm gonna tell you
How to be a good girl that Ma loves
First, remove all your piercings
But don't shove them down the drain
You'll need them later.

Second, have a straight hair that Ma likes
No buts and no ifs
Only yes and yes
But keep all your curler and ribbons
You'll need them to straighten your soul.

Nobody tells you this
In the street or in the market
Nobody texts you how it's done
But now that I've done it and I know why
Because it takes stamina to be a good girl.

I'm feeling under the weather lately
And my body starts to groan
Not like how it ****** under yours
But my cough is starting to sound like your name.

Always on replay
Never reaching the chorus
And I'm gulping down medicines
Instead of your mouth during those cold nights.

And here I am again
Pondering yet knowing why
I always remember you when things go gray
Slowly, slowly breathe and slowly slowly forget.

Are a little left over from yesterday.
But not spoiled.