It's a lie lived until~
Because you can never lie quietly
Lie keeps on burning
Knocking it's exit
But you, yours
It was like wind
Always there, always cold
How did you live with it
Without breaking a sweat?
How did you live with it
knowing I might shed a tear?

It's just that I never tried
Filling water to a barrel
With a *******.
Futility, I should say.
That is quite true, expectedly true
Before I met you.

Maybe if a tornado will come
And destroy all the things I wrecked myself.
And also wipe my memories
Of hands clenched around knives
And a rage so undeniable that it became invisible
To the human eye but there are tremors
Still left and suffered under the blinds.

Are a little left over from yesterday.
But not spoiled.

'Twas the end to all days
The moon will cast its light tonight
Tomorrow laughter will resound
Of joys and mocking sadness
But the care has been cast to wind
Upon the abandonment of life
You'd know there's no honor in silence.

It always feels like
It's never quite done.

But whether we come to our senses
And admit this
We are wired to want something eternal
If you think that something which will fade in a day or two
Is enough for you then fool, that's what you are.

And it's okay to be a fool. We are all.
It just means that you need education
And practice
And God.

Where can I find a heart
That doesn't shy away from grief?
Or a heart that yearns for something
Purer than a unicorn.

I'd like to meet that heart
And if possible, make it mine.

I am yet to find
A way to settle
With the disappointment
That after giving my all
Everyday and work hard
And still fail by this world's standard.

Then maybe I should change my
Own definition of success
And failure
To suit my goal
To keep me within the guardrails.

She's that message you stare for too long
Or dismissed as non-existent
That cigarette you consider as the danger
Or sniffed like your life line.
She simply is that
A bringer of smile
Or on bad days, your demon.

You don't need to convince me
To believe you
Just make me cry, laugh, think
I think that's one way of living your world.