So many lyrics running through my head, but why do I even try when I know nobody cares?

I mean, I kinda know why I haven't given up yet.
It's because the hope that's in my heart still holds my hand.

At this point I'm surprised I still even have hope.
My brain has failed but the beating in my chest says enough.

The world ***** but I'll stay by your side as I promised when you said you want to be forever mine.
Just know that I'm really trying not to give up,
The love you give me - I hope it's enough for me to wake up
because you're the only reason I still even try, and I'm sorry I'm so hard to be kept alive

And as the wind blows through my hair I hear your voice calling my name.
I walk down the road we used to go together and I listen to the playlist you made me to feel better.
Every song I hear reminds me of you. Every word that goes into my ear makes my heart break in two.

It hurts to have both of my headphones singing me songs that we used to listen to, so I take one out and imagine you're sitting next to me and taking it, while I get closer to you.

The wind blows gently on my nose.
I don't want to hear your voice.

My problem is that I stick to things that make me smile
Just for a while
Just for a minute
One breath of fresh air
One decent memory and I'm already lost inside those things
or poeple
Mostly people if i come to think of it

I cling to people who I think I need
But turns out I really don't need them as much as I think
But I tell mysef that they help me to grow and spread my wings and teach me to just go with the flow
They take me high
But then there's the fall

Honey
They don't help you grow
They make you feel high
They make you smile


But drugs aren't good for you my darling
You'll get addicted
And those ******* falls...
They already make you feel so low

Why do you crave a second of happiness even though you know that later you'll regret it all?

You made me yours.
But you don't want to be mine
You waste all my time by telling me lies
Where is this love you say you have for me?
Do you really want me to get on my knees and dig to find it?
Do you want me to travel the world?
Do you want me to study all the books that my library owns?
Do I really need to beg you to need me?

Stop lying.
Just tell me that you don't care so I can get up and leave.

Who am I even kidding right now?
YOU made me YOURS
But you'll never be mine

The sunlight wakes me up at 10 am, but I’m not even thinking about getting out of bed

It’s just seems so distant, impossible to reach
I know I sound dumb but it ain’t easy for me

Something keeps me nailed to this bed
I can’t move my limbs, I’m ashamed of myself

This has to end now, I can’t live this way
I lie to myself like this
Every
Single
Day

The more steps I take the more I lose my breath
I try to run but I can’t escape
It’s getting closer I think it’s too late


It caught  me again

My heart starts pounding
My hands start shaking
Nobody can hear me
Nobody can help me

A year went by
In what feels like a day

My hands are still cold
Soul I don’t know where

You’re still by my side
In What feels like nowhere

I’m glad you’re alright
I still have to get there

I’m sorry
I can’t help you
I tried
Can’t get through

I have so many things I want to do
So many things I want to get through

I want to travel around the world
Do what I want and what I love

So many wants so many needs
I really want to be someone big

But yet still I’m laying in my bed
incapable of getting up and starting a new day

My heart’s so empty
My life’s so dull
My head’s still hurting
My soul’s been through

I don’t feel a thing
Even the pain
Is it a good or a bad thing?

Don’t know what to do
Lost in my own world
Can someone save me?
I’m about to drown

I hate you
But you're a part of me and I don't know what to do

I love you
But you don't make me feel good

I want to leave you behind
And stay strong by myself for once

It's been 6 years
Please give me a chance

With tears in my eyes I begged you to stay
stay by my side for how long it will take

take me to get on my own feet
and hold my head high

but all you did was walk away without a goodbye

Even tho things did not end up well
I still go back to the moments we shared
If I could I would go back in time
and fix what was broken in between us

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you
you deserved better, and now you do what you said you would do

By this I mean that you're happy without me
I'm glad you're smiling, even if it's not caused by me.

When the sun hits my window at 6 am
Flowers grow
Birds fly in the air
when I don’t need to borrow his jacket no more
Sweet and soft songs start hitting me slow

Long time no see spring, make yourself at home.

I saw you smile today, and boy I have to say
that your smile could be mine if you'd let me stay inside for a while

Cuz your smile makes my life turn from gray
to even slightly better than okay

Butterflies when from my tummy to my head
and I don't know if that's okay
but let me in and I'll try my best
to make you smile more than once or twice a day.

I know my head is messed up, and honey I’m so sorry for that
I’m sorry you have to see me that way, that’s why I’m going to say what I have to say.

Even tho my life *****
Depression could leave me for once
Tears could crawl back into my eyes
And anxiety could just stop

You make me feel like I’m worth something I’m not
And I cannot thank you enough for everything that you’ve done
without even knowing you’re saving my life
Just know that you’re my sun
I love you to the moon and back

They say I’m too young to feel that way
They say that there’s no way I’ve ever felt pain
But what am I supposed to say, when I feel that way everyday?

I guess I’ll see how it is
But for now, I’m still missing a piece
Of myself

For now I’m still hurting
With no one to comfort me

But I guess I’m okay
That’s... what they say