There are stories in your eyes.

I never told you how
sometimes I fell asleep
with the thought that you
were perhaps the moon-

always disappearing
with the dawn.

I once knew a girl
she was happy and young
until ***** by a stranger's lust

I once thought of a girl
she was scared and frightened
tried to bury the remains of her past

I once thought I knew a girl
But she was damaged at full
never loved or could be loved

I once was that girl
But I hid behind a cover story of
"just a girl".

You're perfect.
Well grown
Well taught
Well delivered.

You're perfect.
Your poise.
Your smile.
Your humour.

You're perfect.
You romanticize.
You coax.
You submit.

The only imperfection
lies in me.
The inability to see your perfections.

i was fine
until i remembered you
and i dont want you back
i just want the past to be my present
and live forever in your room
each day be the same as the last
just you
just me
surrounded by empty cans
listening to that one band
all it took was one smell
a reminder of when days were clearer
and my mind didnt blur
and i may have been sad
but who'd have known i'd be sadder
the days are getting shorter
i dont care
i care to much
i dont want to die
i want to have never existed

I really wish
I didn't break
now I'm here
on the floor
crying and wishing
you were here
to hold me close.

Like we used
to.
I hate
myself lately.
Because of how
I treated you
and how I made
you feel.
So here I am
wishing I wasn't
now I wish
I was dead.

All the time.

I have nothing to give.
No offering,
No sacrificial lamb,
No barley,
No incense to burn on the plate.
I have nothing to give at all.

from nothing to nothing

In this myriad of existence I can provide
No sustenance,
No value,
No help.
If I were the tool I needed to be,
I'd be nothing...
A blunt blade,
toothless rake,
A scythe with no blade.

from nothing to nothing

In these, my darkest times
I need what I am...
Nothing
Nothing can only create
Nothing...
This cosmic miracle,
An unprecedented alignment of atoms
Breeched by the need for value,
Success,
Worth.

FROM NOTHING TO NOTHING

I have nothing to provide.
Nothing to offer.
What's the point?

*nothing comes of nothing

Every time  I close my eyes you always come to mind
I try so hard to not think of you
I try over and over but i cant break loose from you
I m not saying that i think of you constantly, but i just cant deny the fact  that
every time my  mind wonders it always finds a way right back to you  
You are the first thing on my mind when i wake up and the last thing   when i go to sleep
I think of you every time I close my eyes I dont know what it is about you that makes me feel the way I do
Why am I stuck on you why cant i break free why

My feelings are hurt.
I say it out loud despite how stupid it feels in my mind.

The old me would be a self fulfilling prophecy.
The old me would prove your suspicions right.

Always on the defensive.
I feel like I always need to be.

But I am kind.
I can see beauty where others are blind.
I love hard.
And I love right.

Why so many opponents
When I'm not playing a game?

I know it seems crazy.
The circumstances are insane
But we need more people on our team.
Your opposition brings me pain.

I love him.
You love him.
And I'll love you
Because he does.

I won't get it the way.
I won't let my love run dry.
I won't  abuse his affections.

I just want to make him happy.
I want him to get what's best.
I want to fulfill him in every way.
I want to fall asleep on his chest.