Freefall halted,
black hole dissipated,
even just for a little bit.

I got to marvel, I got to stop
and after a long time,
I finally got to look up.

"You're wonder under summer sky"
Funny how a simple encounter
can make things a bit lighter

I know nothing of what the future holds
But, I hope the stars quell my worries
and guide again our paths to cross

Amidst lambent city lights
You were there, lucent
two degrees of separation
turned into inches of caution…
A furrow brought by uncertainty
Time’s arrow turned against me
A wish whispered to the vast open
For a final chance to say
What was once left unspoken

To my Saturn
After years of waiting
Aimless orbiting
Kaleidoscopic space-time bending
Our paths finally converge
Admiration and excitation surge

In this great conjunction
it showed me this one great revelation –
this is the closest we would ever be,
this is the closest we could ever be
Only in this lifetime, hopefully…

Even if it is just a brief encounter
I would not trade it for another…

Until then, my dearest Saturn...

-Your Jupiter

You were supposed to be a distant starflower
Living in a different world yonder
Far more unreachable than I could ever wonder…
And I was only supposed to be your faraway observer

You were never supposed to wander off my universe
And I never really thought we could ever converse
Longing and yearning for you seemed like a lost cause –
Who would have thought our paths would ever cross?

I could write you—
a bunch of phrases that rhymes
any homonyms would probably turn out just fine
generic metaphors would also do
you might even be swayed by clichéd lines too

But my poetry isn't black and white
besides, none of these felt right—
you deserve well-thought-out verses
but for now, all I have are these random sketches

Minsan pakiramdam ko nga
na tila ba nilubayan na ako ng mga salita...
Parang nilisan na ako ng mga tala at tula
Wala na ang dating saya sa bawat katha
Hindi na muling makagawa ang dating makata

In order to forget
Forward, I've tried to leapt
but to our past, I've always been swept —
reminiscing the places we've formerly been in

Took a few steps to the right
but my heart has been putting a tough fight
wandering quite constantly
and leading me back to where you've left me

All these efforts are somewhat in vain
for no matter how hard I try to change lanes
I think I am almost always bound
To come back to this very same ground

From where I live
It is almost always cold and dark
Heck, even I needed to borrow my own light
The nearest friend I have is several light-years away
Everything just passes by; no one even dared to stay…

That is why, when I had you back then, subsistent –
Someone who was constant and consistent,
Someone who looked at me with so much admiration
More than you did with any other planet or constellation
It made me feel like I am more than just an orbiting satellite
You made me feel like I am the center of your night

Staring at each other, staring together
The sky and stars are surrounding observers
of our cosmic connection when we did had it better…
up until that very last night,  
when you chose to end it with your selfish letter…

and now, I am  left in the same vastness where I’ve always been
plagued with more and more questions, I still kept wondering…
What did I ever do to make you stop?
And what can I possibly do to urge you again to look up?

Regardless of whatever height we reach
The fall is almost always inevitable...

and yet, we still continue to take our chances
We just tighten our very grips,
Shut our doubting eyes,
hold our labored breath,
and just savor the free fall

I am many things all at once…

I am more than just a poet
I am more than that human
Who you see muttering
Those verses, rhyming and aching
Of longing and brokenness
Of depth and hopelessness…
I am more than any piece I’ve spoken
More than any poem I’ve written

I am many things all at once…

I am more than just those “titles”
More than any predefined roles and adnouns
I am more than that kid who you used to see
Climbing up a nonsensical pedestal relentlessly
I am more than that person
Who has long been enslaved –
By words and numbers written on a paper
Life worth mainly defined by others
I have always endeavored to become better

I am many things all at once…

I am more than just taints of my past
More than a byproduct of bad decisions
More than a series of apologies and resolutions
More than a prisoner of my innermost fears
Earnestly seeking for vagaries
I have yet to forget the art of letting it be
And learn playing with blurs of probabilities

I am many things all at once…
A diffraction of Schrödinger's equation
Reflecting a quantum superposition
I am many things all at once…

To the one who made her broken, undefined
Can I take care of the rubble you left behind?
Can I collect her pieces, help rebuild her whole
Can I have her heart, the one you previously stole

"He wanted to know about the sycamore tree and seemed to understand exactly what I meant when I told about the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. “It's that way with people, too,” he said, “only with people it's sometimes that the whole is less than the sum of the parts."
- Wendelin Van Draanen, Flipped

Look at me with those hopeful eyes
with the belief that we can make it through lows and highs
walk again with me, you and your untiring feet
you made the past months more complete
let's cross some more bridge together
stay when one needs the other

Lend me your hands and your arms
and I will gladly accept to ease my qualms
For I've learned that hands will just be hands
and arms will just be arms
but they become so much more
especially when comfort and solace are in store

I have not searched but I have found
someone standing on the same ground
Thank you for breaking the trope
and for helping me breathe a brand new hope

Even if there were a lot of people who were far less
In the short time we've spent together,
I can say you are one of the few who are far more...
you are greater than the sum of your parts
you are one beautiful whole

Who am I?
What do I really want to do
With this life given to me
Some nights feel like an epiphany
But most nights, I feel stuck in an endless existential maze
How I wish I can find the answer
Shall I trust Adler?
To believe in a fictional final goal
And trust that all of this will make sense
That someday, everything will “fall into place”
How I wish I can find the answer
To this seemingly never-ending struggle of mine,
To that one question of “Who am I?”

Carry your stars discreetly
For what lies ahead is unknown to you
Declare your heart
To the blank space of infinity.

But leave —
Leave some parts of you
Unknown to the universe.
It is often deceiving —
its beauty being revealed when you least expect it;
its roars raging in the darkest hours of sunrise.
Leave if you must.

You are a piece of an endless galaxy,
a whole of your own infinite vision.
A new growth awaits.

Today, I realized
I am afraid to look into your eyes
Scared that I might fall again
Through the window to your soul
Down to your rabbit hole
And all the way down the seemingly
endless depths of your mystery

Today, I realized
I am afraid that you'll look into my eyes
And they might reveal what I've been hiding within
That they might show some proof that you are the most fascinating someone I have ever seen.

Hindi ka ba nalulungkot diyan
Sa kalawakang iyong kinalalagyan?
Baka nais mo ng kasama minsan
Nandito lang ako, nag-aabang
Sabagay, sino nga ba naman ako
Isang hamak na nilalang
Na walang magawa kung hindi tingalain ang mga katulad mo
Pero kahit ganoon
sana pakinggan ng tadhana
itong munting hiling ko...

Taong nasa buwan
Pansinin mo naman ako kahit minsan...
Hayaan **** tabihan kita diyan sa kawalan
Yayakapin ka nang mahigpit
Hindi bibitawan
Kaya sana, taong nasa buwan
Pansinin mo naman ako kahit minsan...

Kung saan ako lumisan
Doon ka natagpuan
Sa lugar na sabi ko'y hindi ko na babalikan
Biglang nakita ko na lang
ang aking sarili na paulit-ulit
bumabalik para lang makalapit
at mayakap ka ng mahigpit kahit isang saglit

One
Sometimes, all it takes is one thing
to change your everything...
that one spark of hope in one's eyes
that one surge of courage to start anew
that one person who can turn our lives upside down
that one moment when we realize that these are our lives to live
and we are the captain of the ship

Two
We are always given two choices:
To hold on or to let go
Though it's so easy to walk away
It pays quite a lot to wait and stay
But when people give you multiple ***** in a row
It's not so bad to learn to say no

Three
Count one to three
Breathe, think, then respond
But not for far too long
for time waits for no one.

Darating ba ang panahon
kung kailan hindi mo na ako itutulak palayo
na yayakapin mo ako ng mahigpit
at hindi na pakakawalan
sa mga bisig **** naging kanlungan
sa tuwing hindi ko na kaya ang bigat
na pinapataw ng mundo

Darating ba ang panahon
kung kailan hindi na ako mangungulila sa iyo,
na ikaw na ang nasa kinalalagyan ko
at ako naman ang hahanapin mo,
na ikaw naman ang siyang tatawid
ng distansyang namamagitan sa atin

Darating ba ang panahon
kung kailan ako na ang paksa
ng mga berso **** likha
na ako naman ang pag-aalayan mo ng katha

Darating ba ang panahon
kung kailan makukulayan na
ang mga pangakong salitang iginuhit
at inukit subalit parang naiiwanan lang ako
na paulit-ulit na umasa at magbuntong-hininga

Narito ako't nagtatanong
Darating ba ang panahon nating dalawa?
Narito ako't hihiling
na sana bukas tayo ay pwede na
baka nga bukas pwede na.

I hate myself for my persistence
and I despise you for being so dense
but only you and your existence
could give me such happiness.

Buntong-hininga
Sa langit tumingala
Bitawan lahat

I remember those times
when someone turned my laughters to cries
those moments hurt me a lot
as if I’m being torn apart.
 
In a place where no one is watching,
I carried with me that wearisome feeling
with a soft voice that no one can hear
I cried alone to shed my tears.
 
My heart was filled with sadness
my life was devoured by darkness
but then you came into my life
and my anger was freed by your light.
 
Since then I wanted to be true
I just wanted to be with you.
I always feel that way
but you’ve never promised me you’ll stay.
 
I thought one day you’ll also leave
just like what that loser did.
but on my surprise, you’ve stayed on my side
so, thank you, my angel in disguise.

Tonight I am drunk in my freedom
and no, I have not savored any beer, *****, or ***
It’s just that tonight I am drunk in my freedom
and you are the reason why these feelings have come

It's been a while since I've been this way
me catching phrases for them to stay
For words in me are like rain today
continuously and furiously pouring ‘til the end of the day

You have awakened something in me
and tonight, I am setting it free
So please let me turn you into words I’d write
Because I am drunk in my freedom tonight

This is the first night I’ve been drunk in freedom
And maybe the next one will never come
So while I'm still drunk, let me tell you that I do like you…
‘cause when I'm sober, I might even pretend that I don't notice you.

If this be
my last poem for you
or the words we'll share between us two
maybe my last gift for you
Then let it be...

If this be
the last stare I can give you
the last smile I can show you
the last moments I will spend with you
Then let it be...

If this is what is destined
then let it be
But I know deep inside me
I really wish that it won't be.

Halika na, tara na
Hayan at giniginaw ka na
Nanginginig ang katawan
Habang ang mata'y pilit pinupunasan

Halika na, tara na
Hindi mo na kailangang itago pa
Pait na nadarama
Kay tagal nang binaon sa alaala
'Di na rin kasi kayang itago ng ulan
Bawat luhang naglalaglagan

Kaya't halika na, tara na
Sa aking payong, ikaw ay sumilong na
Hayaan mo na ang nakaraan
Sabay na lang nating bagtasin ang kasalukuyan.

Someday someone will hear your plea
That under the facade of silence, there were silent screams

Someday someone will witness what happens in the dark space between blinks,
and in the void between your labored breaths

Someday someone will figure out
The puzzle you've made of yourself...
Will fill in the gaps left by your missing pieces
and will make you feel like you were never incomplete

Someday someone will see your strength
How you struggled, how you strived
How you fell and stood up
How you managed to survive

Someday someone will see you in a perfect light
More than the way you wanted to be seen
Someday someone will find the real you
and I hope that certain someone will be you.

I am the marionette’s puppeteer
Beside her is where I always wanted to be near
I swear I’m willing to offer her my every tear
And to lose her is the only thing that I fear
 
My marionette’s name is Reverie
Sometimes she is just so proud and hardheaded
So I have to control her harshly
I know she always gets me wrong, but still I love her wholeheartedly
 
In our world—the art of puppetry
Where the primary goal is the audience’s gaiety
This love for my one and only Reverie
has no place and is considered unseemly.
 
Sorry if I have left you, my beloved Reverie
For there is no such thing as love in puppetry…
Forgive me for I followed the norms of society
I loved you but if you think I dumped you, then let it be
 
I know I’m a coward for I instead married
a human— a woman with dignity whose name was Valerie…

The hour glass was turned upside down
and my time started to run.
Ladies and gentlemen, please throw away your frown
‘cause my show has just begun.
 
As the lights started to shimmer,
he now uses me as he willed…
My strings are being pulled by his fingers
pulling them harshly, for him to be thrilled.
 
I am his marionette,
and he is my puppeteer…
With him, every inch of my life is set
and I know my happiness will never be sheer.
 
Now that he’s done with me, my show has already ended.
He just dumped me and on the floor is where I unconsciously landed.

“This is where it stops, this is where it begins
Every moment, every day
This is where it stops, this is where it begins...”

It began with a glance at my scope
There blossomed a tinge of hope
That maybe the moon would find a companion
In an astronomer like me

So I tried to get closer ‘til I got weary…
For some nights, it showed its warmth
But most nights were just a blur...

Maybe the moon is destined to be admired from a distance
Or maybe the moon wanted another ‘heavenly' body
Who knows? Who knows?

Here I am troubled by uncertainty
and constantly baffled by the moon’s inconsistency
and I do not want this anymore
Not today, not tonight
So maybe it’s time to pack up my scope
For tonight, I will not be looking up
For tonight, this is where it will all stop.

Tonight as I lay down under these endless skies
There were certain things I’ve come to realize
That it’s already been a year since you first set my heart to veer

Now if I were to tell how our story went
I’d say that from the realm of strangerhood in a Cartesian plane we were sent
Two opposite lines that were bound to intersect
Or at least at that fateful moment, I felt we connect

At that time, stars were aligned
Chains were casted for hearts to bind
And to account for each time our paths have crossed
To our skies a checkered plane is what we have tossed
Forming a constellation of smiles and avoided gaze
Of an illusionary friendship and uncrossable space.

As one side of the hour glass was slowly drained of sand
Consequently, chances were slipping off my hand
For me to get to know the better of you
And for me to show how much you’ve meant to me.

Truly, time is a **** for it screws everyone
It is a monster that pities none
But today, I will let myself be its prey
For I know after the exalted day
Seeing you would be an improbable dream
And someone’s world will surely dim

Tonight, I will let the stars do their job
The empty darkness of the night they will rob
For they will illuminate this verse to you
These last words I’ll offer you.

The immense coldness of the night is seething through my very core
Voice shudder, wine bottles on the floor
Once again, I’m iced with this misery
But I remember you’re here, I know I’ll be happy.

To “hold infinity in the palm of your hands”
I now understood where William Blake stands
That’s what I’ve perceived the moment we walked hand in hand

Stop all the clocks as Auden said
When I’m with you, who cares when the world would end
Your smile suggests what beauty our future will be
Your eyes gleam the promise of eternity

You’re giving me light beyond these shadows
Your love is a drug I’ll take at any dose
Believe me when I say you are everything to me
‘cause with you is where I can grasp infinity and eternity.

People say you are a mere satellite
but to me, you are the center of the night
under the blanket of darkness, I see your light
how you struggle to illuminate others with all your might

Absurd as this may sound
slowly, I began to understand
what shouting to the void really means...

Please listen as I tell you
I only have my lens for you
out of all the celestial bodies in the sky
you are the one that captured my eyes

I adore all your phases
love all your scars
but to you I'm just an idle dreamer
observing from a far.