The room spins
And my head feels
Disconnected.
I’m falling to the ground,
Through the ground.
My world shatters around me
And I watch
As the pieces of me
Drift too close to the sun
And burn.
Like Icarus with his wings,
They melt away into nothing
And I’m left falling.
I have nothing to hold onto
And no ground to keep me steady.
All I can do is fall.
Fall into nothingness
And be swallowed whole
By the void.

Have kindness
And confidence.
Don’t forget to smile,
Laugh,
And have fun.
And remember
To always be happy
Even if
You’re not
Because everyone you love
Is depending
On you.

You're like watching the sun
Rise again,
Painting the sky in beautiful hues
Of red and gold,
Reminding me there's hope
For a beauty in a dark world.
You're a new blanket,
Soft and warm,
That wraps around me
Like a hug
From someone I love.
You're the smell of cinnamon
During the holidays
That brings me home.
You're the taste of refreshing mint
That dulls my senses
And calms my nerves.
You're the sound of rain
That lulls me to sleep
Like a baby
And a mother's song.
You're a new smile
And a new laugh.
You're a new breath,
A new day,
A new dream,
And a new hope.

— brother —

I am normally a logical person.
I find comfort in explanations
And reasons.
But my mind and my thoughts,
They are not logical.
They are all,
Emotional.
So when you attempt
To belittle them -
With your facts and opinions,
Acting as if I should just
Restructure my mind
In under a second -
You belittle me.
Because I am my thoughts,
And my thoughts are me.

The petals drift
And lay down
Gently
Beside my feet
And my tears -
That are crashing,
Violently,
To the ground.

The steps you take
Away from me
Are an echo
Of the pulse
Inside my veins.
Your footsteps fade
And with you
Goes my heart.

Leaving me broken
And empty.
Leaving me as only a husk
Of the person
I used to be
Before I loved you.
And before my love
For you
Destroyed me.

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

I sit on the rooftop
Not two feet away from the edge.
Not two feet away from a release
So sweet
I can taste candy
On my tongue.
From the Siren’s song
Playing in my head
So clearly
That I hum along.
I feel temptation’s kiss
On my lips –
So soft
Softer than any man before.
But even as I look down
At the concrete and grass below
That beckons me closer
Into their warm embrace –
I turn away.
Because the unknown
After that leap
Terrifies me more
Than tomorrow
Or the day after that.