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Katsa Feb 2013
man on the bus coughed
it sounded like a goat laugh
please don't get me sick
Katsa Sep 2013
The waves of blood run over me,
Like water through my hair.
The crimson tide comes rushing in
But I do not feel fear.
For I am just a little cell,
Clinging to the walls.
Arteries, veins, and ventricles
**A ****** wave of awe.
Katsa Dec 2012
and for the most part
       i'm over it
               i'm fine
                     i'm proud that I am doing this on my own
                                                              
but then every once in a while
it slips past my guard
and jabs me
just enough to make me question
my value as a person
Katsa May 2013
Do it for beauty.
For all the things you've seen that made your eyes glow and your aspirations soar, for all the wonders of this wide, wide world that you've yet to behold.
For the things you want to change and the people you want to touch, for all the empowerment that comes with throwing off the shackles of fear and doubt, for all the love you want to grow, nourish and share.
There should be but one goal: to see, and touch, and feel, and spread the magic of life; the universe can teach us such valuable lessons, if only we take the care to learn.
Feeling unusually inspired right now.
It'll pass soon enough, but while it's here, i figured I'd take a second to make a rough note of the raw emotions I'm feeling. Might be a bit common, but even though I've arrived at the frequented summit of mundane mountain, i feel as though i took my own path in getting there (if that makes any sense).
Katsa Sep 2013
Look down from the skies
There is ash upon your brow
The colors toxic
I meant to put this up a while ago.
Katsa Dec 2013
There's a light flickering in the attic
                                     The shutters,
                                               They creak and they clack
There's a knife in my sheath
                            There's a horror
                                                     Benea­th
                                                              ­       Where we're going
                                                                ­           there's no coming back...
                                      
               There's a terrible plot that's unfolding
                                      A machinist we may never see

Chilling shrieks and shrill screams
                                  "So much worse than my dreams."
                                                        ­       ...
                                            They're just parts now;
                                                  Silent. Company.
Katsa Dec 2013
And it feels like
We're on the brink of something incredible.
I need your steady breath behind me as I lie awake at night
A gentle metronome, to solace me
      as   the twisting
        root of doubt
                 thrives
                                   in the darkness
                delving
         and
                        branching
   from neuron
                  to neuron
         Choking me wi th anxiety
until                bre    athing
                            be     comes    a
              d      istant
                         mem-
                                    or-
                ­                             y

But It's then
That I lean back
Against your chest
To touch the ebb and flow,
The rise and fall,
The simple, solid rhythm
Of your soul keeping time;
The only constant i'll ever need
Is You and Me.
Katsa Dec 2013
My gift wrapping skills
Are still quite mediocre
I'd really rather not...
Katsa Feb 2013
She sparks in me a rage so dark
My stomach gets to roiling
I just want to rip out her throat
My blood's so hot it's boiling
Alas, alas, It cannot be
Such bloodlust is quite unbecoming
She's fortunate that I am me
Or I would name her 'usurper'
And soon would have her running.
Katsa Dec 2012
Yes, I should go see a counselor.
Yes, I should probably take anxiety medication.
Yes, I should go see a doctor instead of ignoring the obvious cries of distress from my body.
Yes, I should not cut myself.
Yes, I should not throw up.
Yes, I should not be me.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
                                                                ­                   But I am.
Katsa Nov 2014
Yes, I should go see a counselor...
My father died recently and I can't tell if I'm coping or not.

Yes, I should probably take anxiety medication...
Or something, because these nightmares have been going on for a month straight.

Yes, I should go see a doctor instead of ignoring the obvious cries of distress from my body...
Except I can't right now because work cut my hours and I've lost my health insurance.

Yes, I should not cut myself...
Which I haven't for a long time, but I still get the urge every time I get stressed.

Yes, I should not throw up...
Which I don't really do anymore, because I found someone who claims to like my body the way it is.

Yes, I should not be me...
Because I want to experience more of this world, and I can't if I'm stuck.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
                                                            ­                                             But I am
I wrote Self Contained Arguments about 2 years ago, and reflecting on it recently inspired me to produce this updated version. Things haven't progressed the way I'd hoped they would, but since I've always been a realist I'm sure past me wouldn't be too surprised to hear that.
Katsa Jun 2013
I can't begin to tell you what it's like day after day
To sit about and wonder: Where'm I going? What's the way?
For me, every path is dark; they're shrouded from my eyes,
By the fog that's been a hindrance since I was young and realized
That the people all around me once had plans and wants and dreams,
That they'd craved fame and riches and had aspired to genius schemes,  
They'd recall their greatest childhood hopes and I slowly learned
That somehow, Disappointment was the only thing they'd earned.
This or that had stopped them from achieving their potential
And by and by they'd lost sight of goals once held essential.
In all their lives, whether young or old, the story was the same
great plummeting falls from such lofty heights, and the world was to blame.
Not all of them were bitter, some accepted it as fate
I'd wished they'd never told me, but by then it was too late,
To plug my ears and never learn that I can never win
And so my dreaming heart died, and reality set in.
Katsa Dec 2012
And there are obstacles before me,
But I oh so love the challenge,
And while I burn with a fever,
It is the fire that fuels my passions.

— The End —