I’m not sure what to do. I lost you. you were all mine this morning and then by the time the stars were out it was like everything that happened between was erased from your mind, and I was nothing to you. I hate this feeling. I hate being alive, but I am forcing myself to see through the pain. for. you. this is all for you.

for me, i've always liked the idea of drowning

it seems so peaceful, serene

slowly sinking into the dark abyss

consumed by the water that once gave you life.

I feel a tear drop on my hand, next to yours.
I'm sorry for what you feel, wish I could heal your pain.
At first, I didn't experience any sadness, nor thoughts came to mind, but then I realized,
Something had not been right all this time,
Something felt off, like you've changed.
I guess overthinking gets you out your head,
Cause' my memory was shot out of my mind when you told me she's dead.
Looking into your eyes from afar, they got all teary and filled.
My heart fell out my chest, prayers laced in my brain,
My arms were drawn low to the ground, legs tied in a knot.
I knew that you were feeling some sort of way,
and I apologize for all the change,
Everything will heal in time, it's all going to be okay I say for constant reassurance,
But, you covered your face,
Cried endlessly, tears splattered on the sleeves of your arms,
Holding your head tightly and gradually bringing it down,
Moving your body from side to side.
Through the blurry vision of mine, I let out a loud sigh.
There's a lump in my throat that I cannot control and out the corners of my eyes, I noticed your glare.
I'll leave you be my fellow friend, just know
I felt your hurt too when you expressed every detail that slipped from your mouth.
It's all going to become better now, do well son I pronounce and take care of yourself.
Do it for the family, do it for me,
Allow every moment to last greatly.

I’ve become so good at
Pretending to be okay,
I don’t even remember what
It feels like to let it all go.  
I don’t remember letting my friends see my anxiety,
Breaking down in front of somebody,
Smiling a genuine smile.  
I don’t remember showing any emotion besides okay,
Fine, normal.  
I remain the definition of average,
Blending in so well I don’t even think about it.  
Sometimes I want to just stop.  
Just stop all of the pretending and let myself feel.  
But I can do it.  
I can do whatever I need to do
In order to keep things normal.  
And that’s the scariest thing of all.