oh god I always claimed
I would never ever cheat
but boy i'm cheating on you like
on my latest math test

it is probably the stupidest thing ever
to think true love can not be influenced by time
nor distance.
love just happends. '

i kissed a boy in the rain at a train station on the 16th of august and those few minutes were the best of my life.
after the train left the station, with that particulair boy in it, i cried flowers but it did not stop the rain from making its way to the ground
neither did it stop the wind from blowing.

Town bound so I built my own crown
The Stars the planets revolve around
But do they really notice stars
Dead before they fall apart
Like broken hearts
Broken parts  
Tattered thread
That's how it starts
Until finally
That's all you are

i wish
tears
could wash
away
memories.

(then maybe i can finally sleep.)

You are my smile
You are my bliss
You are the reason for which I live
I chase you down
I seek you out
Of you...I could never get enough

I crave that moment
I can no longer seize
Expecting fruits
From these demons in me
You once gave me courage
Where now, I'm fueled by fear
You feed on my hunger
The hunger to feel you in me

You are my sorrow
You are my pain
You are my scars
I stare at in a daze
You are my calling
You fueled my cries
You bring that rush
From head to spine
Down to my toes
Right through my core
I no longer have control

I crave that moment
I can no longer seize
Expecting fruits
From these demons in me
You once gave me courage
Where now, I'm fueled by fear
You feed on my hunger
The hunger to feel you in me

I love you
I hate you
There's such a thin line
You are the struggle I go through
Everyday and Every night

I keep trying to piece together
a functioning poem but nothing
is fitting the way I need it to
I guess it's a symbol of my mind
Or anything  having to do with me
I have pieces of unfinished business floating in my notepad
all I can do is write the episodes of my life that flash in my mind
I didn't pay for a drive through movie
but I got in free
except it's all things
that've happened to me
A showcase of my emotions
over the years plastered in my mind
on a giant screen
I don't ignore you
I want to hear every word
you speak so I never forget them
but how do I explain
"I didnt hear what you said
I was watching the episode
of when I broke his heart
the morning after his birthday
I'm sorry will you repeat that?"
I always loved picture frames
as a child thinking they could hold some precious moment I never had

Childhood
more like a broken swing set
in an abandoned park
If little me only knew
I would be walking around
with thoughts of you
I have a list of things that replay
in my mind and I fear it will never stop
I am an abandoned house that is only filled with pictures of my memories
Sometimes I feel so fragile
I think if you were to hold my hand
it would shatter
The paint is peeling from my walls
and there are holes in my floorboards and after walking in the dark
of my house for so long
i believe I've fallen through
one of them

My only hope is when the
sun finally rises I can crawl out
to reconstruct
I will replace every fried wire
and every broken board
I will paint and furnish
until my head is my home
and that doesn't sound
like a nightmare anymore

My only hope is that you can stay until I've sent every demon my way packing

the world we have come to know
has always been such a tough foe
but please try to bear the pain
it is okay to try again
your life's too precious
let's be cautious
hold on to your dearest
because they're the nearest
source of glee and comfort
have a cup of tea by your porch
and talk about life
think of all those people
worried and caring
even though you may not know it
someone out there loves you to the tiniest bit
so dear,
erase all your suicidal thoughts
through courage and hope
despair shall be fought