julianna

julianna Oct 2018

Intoxicatingly, mistakenly
You’ve caught my eye and now you’re leaving me
Hanging
At least in my head, I’m better off dead
When you leave me hanging
And you’ve ghosted for days
I’m waiting and waiting
Contsantly thinking about what you might say
Or what I said wrong
Will you reply?
Or just write me off...
Or maybe you’re busy
Maybe you’re tired
Maybe you haven’t checked your phone in a while,
Maybe he’s camping and service is bad

Haha I made myself sad and happy again.

But I’m still left here waiting and hanging and waiting... to see what you’ve said.

Not going to lie and say I didn’t write this while singing it. I’m in a Broadway mood.

#ghosted #waiting #life #funny

julianna Oct 2018

SAD!

If it’s not new,
I don’t want it
Because things change
And I hate it
2012 is kinda painful
And if you’re dead,
I hate to listen
Cuz it’s honestly
So sad

I just now started listening so XXXTentacion, which ***** because it’s after his death. I wish I would’ve listened to his music without a tragedy having to occur. Also, I hate discovering inactive or older artists because there’s nothing new to keep up with... no concerts, no new songs, and the fandom seems to be dead. It’s lonely to be with music and your feelings without expression.

#music #sad

julianna Oct 2018

Colorful Attraction

It was a color that I’ve never seen before
I knew that it existed, but not like this
It was an attraction that you couldn’t miss
Because our mouths met and we literally kissed
I’m glad that I felt it in my dreams, atleast
Because I can open my eyes and try to see it in real life

#dream #romance #kiss #color #love #life

julianna Oct 2018

Daddy’s Little Monster

In a different reality,
I would be wearing two-toned shorts,
Do crazy makeup,
And dye my hair
I’d carry a bat and wear a shirt
That said I was your monster
I’d be your crazy baby
And you, my evil man
But sadly Harley and The Joker
Don’t think the way I can

I’ve always wanted a twisted love and honestly, we’d have it. But things are different than I want and right now, that’s
what I need.

#love #harley #quinn #the #joker #romance #twisted #crazy

julianna Oct 2018

What Fall Looks Like

I wanna paint a picture of
How much fall hurts
Like a maple leaf dipped in gold
Ripped from my skin,
Leaving behind parallel lines
And dark days
It makes me sleepy,
Cold, and nauseous
A rally for blood and depression
It leaves me wanting people near,
But oh so alone
The yellow and orange
Hurts so bad
This is what my fall looks like.

#season #autumn #fall #sad #depressed

julianna Oct 2018

Teen Idle

I’m laying in bed, eating a pizza slice
Wearing my dark flower robe.
My headphones are pumping
Teen Idle
(Marina and the Diamonds)
So funny, when my mother knocks
“I’ve been calling you,”
She says.
I realize now it’s come full circle
I’m able to be a teen again.

Today was my “last” day of therapy after a year. I’m only going back every few months, as long as I keep doing well. It’s so amazing to think about where I was when I started and where I am now. I’m
So
Much
Better
I’m healthier and I can finally be a teen again.

#teen #teenager #marina #and #the #diamonds #anxiety #therapy #life

julianna Oct 2018

Ghost of An Angel

Won’t look out the window when she knocks for fear of a Ghost of An Angel.
He made a mistake, so he’s outcasted
But it’s not bad.
Just because something hurts doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Stitches allow you to heal, and until you do you’ll be a Ghost of An Angel.
We’ll be waiting.

The title contains personal meaning, but take it as you will.

#ghost #angel #pain #healing