constant paranoia
sleepless nights
bustling hospital halls

trust me
this is nothing less than horrific
after attempting to end it all

"take me home"
i whisper to no one
through my silent tears

staying in a psych ward
for just one week
felt like several years

all i can do
is worry
about if anyone will care

i think they believe
that they would be better off
if i was no longer there

my week in the hospital
was heart-wrenchingly
bleak

everyone says
it made me stronger
but i feel immensely weak

it’s strange isn’t it?
the ones who barely know you
have the most to say

Why do we search
For comfort and healing
In the hands of those
That broke us in the first place?

No reason to stay

Is a perfectly good reason to go.

Ill be my own
poet.
I need no other
words
that are not my
own,
telling me of all
the greatness
inside my star
gasping
soul.


*Sandoval

Drink me in
until I swirl
upon your tongue

then slide satin-deep
down your throat
to the top of your toes
and back up again

let me be
the underbelly
you take in
like a cup

then let us
ascend spinning
into an eternal
Sun*

Your lover heart makes the dying star rebirth again