I knew,
right then....

We
c o u l d  h a v e
had
e a c h  o t h e r

Once, we thought about meadows;
Brushing hands so gently above the tips of the grass.
One might have been offended by the trespass.
Then again, they did not know.

And once we thought about the future:
The stream of light echoing through the cracks.
We did not think of obstacles,
Or circuits, at all.

Too early the years came.
When that excitement became fright.
Those lights dimmed down, low.
The obstacles became barriers.

And at once it rushed through me.
I have to kneel to see it the same way.
We are unable to stand still.
The cracks were closed in.

If, day by day, your smell fades
And the distance between us grows
Larger and larger:
At least then I'll accept you've left me.

And if, with each minute, the sound of your voice
Stops echoing in my ears;
Your ego and it's reflection, pouring upon my world:
At least I will regain the ability to see.

If each moment of our relationship
Slips away, from beauty and truth,
To the lies that I now know:
At least it will be over for real.

And if with each day I stop loving you;
I stop yearning your hands, your arms and shadow,
Syncing with mine, in the light:
And least then I will truly feel.

Too big to call it yours,
Too small to compete.
Not the wisdom from your mouth,
Or the knowledge in your feet.
Never yours nor never mine.
Ours, together.

The stones that had sat, old.
The water's depth surround.
It wasn't fame that we did need,
Just organics on the ground.
See, we are all the one,
A family, you might say.
Sheltered from the sun,
but skies are never grey.

The Shelly Place is ours,
Perhaps, we are the shells.
Perhaps, we are not.
Time could only tell.
Home to the big glass house,
And the massive fish.
A location for a prayer,
Or to make a wish.

It is home.

Can I keep you in my pocket,
And bring you around everywhere I go?

I have a wonderful little idea for you and me,
Do you want to know?

We meet eyes across a dark world,
And we cause an explosion of light.

Our bodies shiver, that warming, joyful kind,
And the feeling rushes from our hearts, just like a plight.

Our hands fit together perfectly,
And we kiss like Eskimos in their igloos.

We can build up a small house on a hilltop,
With a glass ceiling, if you choose?

I know how much you love the night sky,
And you know I love it too.

I would lay there with you always,
As the skies turn from blue to black, and black to blue.

On our hilltop, we'd be surrounded by green grass,
And flowers would grow between each blade.

There would be a tall tree overhanging our small house,
And, on hot days, we would sit under it for some shade.

I'd make you laugh just to see that amazing smile,
And your eyes would twinkle brighter than the moon.

You'd pull me closer and let me stand on your toes,
As we both danced to our favourite tune.

You'd whisper words no one has ever told me,
Three words that mean so much more.

And you'd wonder as we get lost in each other's eyes,
If our hearts had once known each other before..

If I keep you in my pocket,
My dreams may one day come true.

You'll meet my eyes across the dark world
And then I can live happily, in the light, with you.

You brought light with you as you walked,
And illuminated the dark,
Which reflected off of my face,
As you kindled up a spark.
You create an emotion deep inside,
I could never previously force.
So, in this strange little paradise,
Darling, I'm yours.

You wrap me with your arms,
And tower me till I'm small.
You comfort me with your words,
And praise me till I grow tall.
You're an indescribable beauty,
Who causes sensations through my spine.
In this strange little paradise,
Darling, you're mine.

My hand fits perfectly into yours.
My heart opened it's doors to you,
When I searched into your eyes,
And found myself swimming in their blue.
My reflection said all they can,
And showed me the long lost light.
Now you stay close at my beside,
To whisper me goodnight.
You settled my shivers from the Winter's cold,
And held me in the Spring's early sun.
So, in this strange little paradise,
Darling, we are one.

I continuously find the same questions
Fill up my mind like fish in the sea,
These fish symbolise the world I knew once
The one that created me.
And my troubles seem to circle me back here,
To the place I have grown to hate.
A place that serves no need now,
The redirection of my fate.
I can keep spluttering out words,
Meaningless, to us both.
But when I try to tell you the truth,
This agony fills my throat,
I'm searching for an explanation,
One, I know that you now yearn.
But I can't fake tears like these,
And that's something I've grown to learn.

Oh Darling, there are two sides to me.
There's the side that is strong, soft, courteous and loving,
And another side that I never want you to see.

It's not distinguished by internal and external.
It's not a split personality.
Inside, there are two voices,
Arguing, daily.

For description's sake, I'll name them both.
I'll call the side that you know, Bright.
And the side you don't, Dark.
You'll understand the name choice with a little more insight.

Inside me they're in constant battle.
They hijack my every thought.
They agree on most things, usually.
But, on this, they're caught.

Bright is the one to sit back,
And smile no matter how much she's in pain.
While Dark stands up and speaks out.
Most of what she does is all in vain.

Bright feels tears swell up, and a lump form in her throat.
Her hands begin to tremble, and she can feel her heart ache.
While Dark is gulping angrily, and is clenching her fists.
She is embarrassed of her weakness. She refuses to let her heart break.

Dark is considering her options.
She analyzes all she knows.
While Bright is putting on a brave face.
But her pain is so strong, it shows.

You wrap your arm around me,
And Dark starts to go off in a rant.
She says; “Bright, come on, you know better!”
Bright shakes her head and says; “I can't.”

Dark is so infuriated, she begins to tear herself apart.
She is reckless. She doesn't think. She just goes straight for her heart.

Bright tries to calm Dark with soothing words of care.
But it proves difficult to find any, when there aren't any there.

Dark lets out an evil laughter that bounces round inside.
Bright becomes so afraid she searches for a safe place to hide.

Your fingers drum gently on my rib cage,
And your image fills up my mind.
Bright steps out into the open,
With this incredible, golden find.

She says; “Dark he loves me. He's the one for me in life.”
Dark does not interrupt Bright, but instead just shakes her head.
“You're a foolish girl, Bright. Do you know that?”
From Bright, not another word is said.

“Bright, what has happened to you?
Can you not see him in that state?
How low have you let yourself fallen,
To allow yourself to love the thing you hate?”

No response comes from Bright now,
Dark can see she has become numb.
Nevertheless, she continues talking.
As your fingers continue to beat me like a drum.

The tensions swiftly rising as Dark continues on.
She tells Bright of all her stupid wishes, wants and dreams,
And how she has given up on all of them.
Dark is right, it seems.

The tears in Bright's eyes glisten,
And her heart is slowly beginning to drop.
She's become so numb inside now,
She can't even tell Dark to stop.

Just as I begin to say my own little piece,
Another voice cuts in with something better to say.
Dark shakes her head again and says;
“Come on, Bright, give me one good reason to stay?”

Bright just stands there looking helpless.
Tears begin to throb beneath her skin.
Dark feels no mercy.
To her, this is a win.

Dark takes full control of me.
As Bright has no choice but to step back.
Dark is stronger than Bright,
Fuelled by emotions Bright does lack.

The vision that was once distorted,
By the tears Bright brought to my eyes,
Is cleared up in an instant,
As Dark happily says her goodbyes.

Goodbye to your beautiful face,
And your wonderful mind and heart.
Goodbye to your open arms,
That have held me up since the start.

Goodbye to your great smile,
That special one, just for me.
Goodbye to all our memories,
And to the future we'll never see.

Bright takes her position beside Dark,
To join in with the farewell.
She decided she can no longer fight Dark.
But this is something she doesn't tell.

As I take a final look around me,
I think about the past year.
I think of all the things I could have done,
And all the places I could have been instead of here.

Regret dominates me.
Even Bright can feel it now.
Dark urges me to leave as quick as I can.
But I'm still trying to figure out how.

What excuse could I possibly make up?
And where on Earth am I going to go?
What are they all going to think of me?
My heart's beating so fast, I fear it may blow.

You look concerned as you ask me if I'm okay.
I smile and say; “Yeh, of course I am” in my best disguise.
Dark knows you're content with my answer.
But Bright hopes you can see the truth within my eyes.

You continue your jolly conversation,
With everyone else around us.
Bright can see who you truly are now,
And she doesn't make a fuss.

You whisper a soft 'I love you.'
And Bright stays silent as I say it too.
She dreams of an alternative world,
Where the words you've said are true.

Bright's heart shatters like a glass,
As I finally build up the courage to go.
But just as I'm beginning to take to my feet,
Inside, Dark is screaming; “No!”

He asks me how it is I am silent,
Yet words pour from the pen in my hand.
But how am I to answer,
When he could never understand?

How am I to explain of a man,
Or, should I say, a boy.
Who showed me how to love,
And filled my heart with joy.

You were a boy of beauty.
You cared for me like a brother.
And in my heart I grew to believe;
You were like no other.

I thought we lived in a perfect world.
And what we had was love.
But you showed me I was never more wrong.
Because angels don't fall from above.

You made me think I was number one,
And no one else could compare.
But if that's the case,
I long to know why you aren't here?

Of course these are not things that should concern me now,
They're thoughts I should ignore.
Because I found someone who truly loves,
Who I wish I had known before.

I'm wasting my breath spitting out these words,
And tiring the strength in my arm.
But I want to scream out these feelings,
I want you to know you did me harm!

I'm tired of missing you, tired of crying,
Tired from the lack of sleep.
I found you, and grew to love you,
But you were just yet another person I couldn't keep.

You stepped aside and dropped your arms,
And stood there like a solid brick wall.
With my arms outstretched, searching for warmth,
But you moved and let me fall.

Your heart went cold with the seasons.
No words came from your mouth.
I wonder if it was my fault you died inside,
That I do not doubt.

But we had a place in the world,
The beginning, where we met.
We swore to meet back there someday,
But you probably already forget.

So it all came down to this m'dear:
I've decided to reopen my doors,
Because you left me frozen, dying inside,
Holding onto a love that's no longer yours.

You may want to ease up on the sugar there,
You know it's the reason you gained weight.
And look aside from the darkness, would you?
I think it has discouraged your faith.
Why do you wake up each morning,
And allow your mood to create your day?
You know if you truly wanted to be happy,
Your bad mood would stay away.
Why don't you change the way you dress,
It may raise your self-esteem.
Move your bed out of that dark corner of your room,
And then, I think, tonight you may actually dream.
Ditch the people who bring you down,
You know exactly who they are.
And while you're at it, it may just help,
If you also let go of her.

Was there a time when you believed in her,
And thought she was the one?
Because I can't seem to understand the fact
That, now, you are alone.
You both still laugh at each other's jokes,
And live your lives side by side.
But she has a new life, away from yours now,
She has left your relationship behind.
Did the things she did cause you to build up a wall,
That you intended to hold up against the world?
Or is that iron suit of yours
Protection against one single girl?

I thought I broke down that wall of yours,
To get a good glimpse inside.
But instead you just showed me where the cracks were forming,
And hid yourself away again after a while.
I can't help but wonder what it is that scares you
Away from the intentions of my pursuit?
But more importantly, I'm curious to know,
What caused those cracks in your iron suit?

One morning you awoke and your heart just changed.
You no longer felt the same.
You wanted to tell her the truth of the matter,
But it was years before those words finally came.
A pessimistic cloud formed itself above you,
And since it has followed you around.
How could it be that you feel nothing at all,
While inside I can feel my stony heart pound?

She should have held on tighter, and fought for you harder,
No matter how much you believed it was the end.
Because something inside me is convinced you are hurting
From all the things you thought you could not mend.
Surely there must have been something left,
If you held on for so long.
Comparing you now to who you were then,
I'm curious to know what went wrong.

Did she tell you too many lies?
Or could you just not handle the truth?
Was it anything to do with her at all?
Or was it simply all just about you?
It kills me to know that she got behind that wall,
She seen more than just the flesh beneath the cracks.
And still she let go and moved on with her life,
With no intentions to ever look back.

And with that thought I think I found the answer.
I finally understand the truth.
She is the reason you let the world slip away.
She caused the cracks in your iron suit.

She opened up her mouth to speak:
To tell the world her thoughts.
Her words needed to be heard,
To the surface, the truth needed to be brought.

She wrote letters to the world,
That must have been swallowed into space.
And she scheduled meetings with world leaders,
So she could meet them face to face.

She quit her low paid job,
And pushed her course aside,
To delve into her research,
And travel round, world wide.

The skies took many colours,
And the air held many voices.
Her monsters never shut up.
She lost hope in her many choices.

She snapped each pencil in site,
And smashed each pen she owned.
She ripped up every sheet of paper.
And her research was disowned.

After stepping into the office,
Of each leader of the world.
To hear the same ******* laughter,
They all used toward a little girl.

Her heart cracked in a million places,
And tears swelled up behind her eyes.
She removed herself from their presence,
Without saying any goodbyes.

All she wanted was to fix the world.
She believed it could be done.
She constructed various methodologies,
To win a fight that needed to be won.

You supported her hand-in-hand.
You stood by her all the while.
At the times she lost her faith,
You were the one who brought back her smile.

She never needed a comic book hero.
She just needed to be strong.
And no matter what the rest of the world thought,
You helped her keep going all along.

Her beauty alone could break hearts,
And her words could mend souls.
Her touch could heal wounds,
And her voice could gain control.

No one knows what motivated her.
No one ever seemed to care.
I'm surprised you never asked her,
Since you were always there.

Her silence was impenetrable.
Her emotion unprovoked.
Until one day the world just hit her,
And her silence became revoked.

She was not as happy as everyone assumed,
And she required a helping hand,
To catch her when she fell down,
And to teach her how to stand.

She told you all her theories,
And she gained trust in you, like a friend.
How could you have been the reason,
She gave up on her dreams in the end?

All she needed was someone loving,
Who would always keep her strong.
To tell her that, no matter what the rest of the world thinks,
She could never, ever be wrong.

I wonder if you left the light on that night,
As you sat clutching your wine glass on the floor.
Or if you tucked yourself up tightly in bed,
After you securely locked up every door.
If you fought till you were sober,
And never gave up, though you lost,
Leaving your pillow fully tear-soaked,
And your covers unneatly tossed.
I wonder if you wake up every morning,
Like you used to, all alone.
But feel your heart sink deeper,
Once you realise you're on your own.
Or do you still continue preparing
Their clothes as if they're there?
And hum a melody as you wander the house,
Disturbing the old, settled air.
Do you still set three seats at the table,
And then call them when it's time to eat.
Then wait just for a moment,
To hear their scampering feet?
Have you stayed in touch with their friend's parents?
Or have you left them in the dark?
Are you afraid they would ask questions,
Or make some advisory remark?
I think they'd tell you to look in the mirror.
And to get up off of your lazy ***.
That you did less than you know you could have.
And, for God's sakes, put down that glass!
I don't think you were a bad mother,
But, sure, how am I to know?
I was the last one to find out all about it.
I just can't believe you'd let them go!
Have you dismantled his bed in the attic,
Or have you just left it there to rot?
Or have you moved out of that house completely,
Leaving behind all the heartache it brought?
Did you continue to leave mini eggs on her window sill?
The ones you used to pretend her dragons had laid.
Or did your body freeze in front of her door-frame,
As you asked yourself why they hadn't stayed?

I wonder if you teared up into your wine glass,
When you realised it was because of you they're gone.
Then I wonder why on Earth you would cry,
When it's what you wanted all along.

I remember putting on a show for you,
Hoping to make you laugh, from above.
I hoped you would never get bored of me,
And always be there to feel my love.

When we made mud pies in our pretend house,
I would imagine you lined up beside me,
Suggesting what other ingredients we could use,
From all the plants around us that you could see.

When Mum would take photographs,
I always felt your absence, wishing you were there,
And I always wanted you to know that,
So I would say it out loud for you to hear.

I always thought you could grant wishes.
Or somehow help me on my way.
I viewed you as some sort of super hero,
That was always waiting by to save the day.

Sometimes at night, before I went to sleep,
I would whisper you a prayer, and tell you about things.
Like about the day I had had that day,
Or what I hoped tomorrow brings.

I never felt a hint of loneliness,
No matter how much I was on my own,
Because I felt you by my side, at all times.
You were the best friend I had ever known.

You handed away your boots,
And gave me the spare key,
So I could find someone to give them to,
In the hope of making me happy.

I kept them safe, the best I could,
Ready to ****** them back at any time.
Because there's something a little unsettling,
About handing away something that isn't mine.

I made a promise to you, a very long time ago,
That you would always be my number one.
And I swear to keep that promise to you,
No matter who else ever comes along.

I haven't spoken to you in quite a while now,
And that's why I thought I'd jot you down a few lines.
Just to tell you, I still miss you dearly,
And that I think, despite everything, I'm doing just fine.

I'm, only now, building the foundation of my future.
Nothing is set in stone, as of yet.
I have my eyes on my many hopes and dreams.
But my childhood is something I'll never forget.

All that time, I only thought of myself.
I never thought of the hurt you must have felt in your heart.
To see us all down here, growing up together,
Knowing you will never get to take part.

That's why I would like you to know this now,
So you can keep it forever in your mind.
No matter how absent you were, in body,
None of us ever left you behind.

We celebrated all of your birthdays,
And introduced you to all the friends we made.
You were with us on every trip we took,
And thought about in everything we've ever said.

You're a piece of all of us,
That we keep wrapped up, safe, inside.
Some days it hits us harder than others.
Some days it's just too difficult to hide.

Today's just like any other day.
I'm not thinking of you any more or any less.
It's just that I've found the time to talk to you,
And there's something I must confess:

I miss those days when we made mud pies in our pretend house.
And I absolutely love all the photographs Mum took.
I miss having a best friend always watching my back,
And having a hero save the day. (I have awful luck!)

I'm very sorry I never considered your feelings,
And that I was so caught up in my own before.
I hope you found yourself a home in the Kingdom,
And you're not worrying about me anymore.

Some people consider me to be a negative person,
Because I'm less lively than I once used to be.
But I greatly object to that consideration,
As there's something inside, they'll just never see.

I see the bright side to everything,
And death is the last thing that I fear.
Because I love my life, and I hope there's a long road in front of me,
But if there's not, at least I'll get to join you up there.

I'm a little lonelier these days,
And I'm not particularly sure why.
I think perhaps it's because I'm just too busy each day,
To get a chance to look up to the sky.

For that reason, I want you to know I still think about the old days;
Us all there, making mud pies and playing outdoors.
That's how I'll choose to remember you, always.
Despite the fact that my eyes have never once met yours.

A light came into the world,
Wearing a long dress,
The nicest smile,
Carrying the greatest heart of gold.

That light had a son:
Our best friend, father and Grandad,
The most wonderful other half
To an already lovely woman.

Together they had a family,
Joining heritages,
Crossing seas,
Found themselves in Leeds.

But that was only the beginning of the journey:
Between the weekend trips with their good friends,
The cruises where they laughed and danced,
Wearing his best bow tie;

To the sofa days,
Keeping up with the Gaelic.
A man with many loves,
And Ireland remained one.

I remember when Grandad would visit home,
And he would share stories of their travels.
He was so kind-hearted, and so accepting.
His mother's light shone on him.

Years pass us too quickly.
Thank you for being a great father to my father and his siblings, and the wives and husband they love too.
Thank you for giving Granny such a wonderful journey in this life. May her voice still linger in your ears.
And thank you for being our Grandad. Our days with you will never be forgotten.

***

When I first set eyes upon you,
It was my soul that reached out to say "hello".
Those blue eyes beat the ocean's beauty in an instant.
And you led the way to go.

You taught me about appreciation,
How, in this world, we must give and take.
I reconsidered how easily I forgot,
And forgave, every single mistake.

You brought me into your home,
And sat with me through the dark.
Together, we lit up candles,
And enlightened up a world, with just the smallest spark.

You showed me to the world,
Then showed the world to me.
I admit I was frightened at first,
But then I learned what it felt like to be free.

We were meant to be,
You and I.
It was written in stone.
It was written in the sky.

We were destined for each other,
We both had lessons to be learned:
You needed to learn how to love,
And I needed to learn how it felt to be burned.

Freedom is nonexistent,
In a world riddled with hate.
We all must learn how to be adaptive,
In a world controlled by fate.

A wind blew so heavy,
During another darkened night,
And extinguished all our candles,
And we sat again without light.

I used to think our hearts were like locks,
And out there, someone had the key.
So when you try to open a lock with the wrong one,
Your result is you and me.

I loved how easily I forgot,
And forgave, every single mistake.
And how everyone just knew I was grateful,
Without immediate give and take.

I loved how no chains could link us,
And how there were no dependencies.
Back when we were wanderers out there,
Still searching for our keys.

I'm almost fully conscious,
when I realise who you are.
No longer some dazzling angel,
or a distant, shiny star.
You're a man with a startling beauty,
and charms that win my heart.
You're exactly how I imagined you would be,
even from the very start.

We're sitting at a table.
It's not one I've previously known.
But, by the way you perch your boots upon it,
suggests it is your own.
I've come to confess some thoughts I've had,
And some things I wish to share.
To a person I not only will sit and listen,
But I can guarantee will care.
He glares into my dark blue eyes,
that reflect the blue of his.
And while my words slip right into his ears,
he unjumbles them like a quiz.
I never hear of his opinion,
It's just my voice that fills the air.
But it's enough for me, just to know,
that he's even there.

Next thing I know, we're in a field,
with flowers all around.
We're all dressed up, in our best,
sitting on the ground.
I've come to you with some stories,
I can't share with another soul.
I've come to tell you that my life is good,
now that I've taken control.
I found the person you used to know,
And realised what I am worth.
I left behind those who brought me down,
by treating me like dirt.
I realised it doesn't matter what others think.
And only you can bring your joy.
I banished my selfless thoughts I had
And even found a boy.
One who tells me I am beautiful,
and shows me to the world.
One who holds me in his arms,
and is proud that I'm his girl.
I don't know what you'd think of him,
if he ever got the pleasure to meet you.
But I want you to know, above all others,
that what I feel is true.
It's not my intention to replace you darling,
for you are like no other.
There is no man on this planet,
who could love me like my big brother.

You undo your laces, remove your boots,
and give them to me with a kiss.
I sit them on the grass, ensure he'll keep them safe,
and that, I tell you, is my promise.

Before my eyes flicker back to Earth,
I reach out for your hand.
I thank you and tell you I love you so much,
and I'm happy you understand.

He recalls one particular night,
When a phantom slithered into his infant dream,
And he awoke, alone, in a clouded darkness,
Broken only by a single hall-light beam.

With tears pouring from his little eyes,
He slipped out of bed and found his feet on the cold floor.
He made his way toward the source of the light,
Until he stood before his parents, at their bedroom door.

His mother picked him up into her loving arms,
And ran her fingers through his hair, like a comb.
As he slipped away soundly back to sleep,
She couldn't imagine her little boy ever leaving home.

In the school yard, at only ten years of ages,
He spotted his little brother
Assessing the blood drops that were falling to his feet,
And the bullies pointed and laughed with one another.

He ran as fast as he could to reach him,
With his arms widely outstretched,
Crying out his name in panic,
Until their eyes eventually met.

He set out to protect his brother through out his life,
Though, with him, he always felt alone.
I guess his brother may have taken him for granted,
As he thought he would never leave home.

In his teenage years, he met a girl,
With eyes the same colour as the oceans deep.
Her voice still echoes in the silence,
And her eyes still meet his in his sleep.

He remembers her face the day she left him.
How she told him she found his heart of gold,
But all she could see when she looked into his eyes,
Was that his life was already sold.

Although he couldn't bear the thought of losing her,
Somewhere inside he understood why she had gone.
But he loved her enough to hold onto her forever,
Even long after he had left home.

At the age of eighteen, it was time to move out.
He found himself a job, to get some money flowing.
He bought a small apartment in the centre of town.
And found a few new friends to keep himself going.

Though he did miss home, he was an adult now,
And he wished to be the best man he could be.
He kept in touch with his family and friends,
But he began to feel he could not live normally.

One night he was out with his closest friend,
When, in an instant, the place they had went to was mobbed.
And despite his attempts to protect him from the attackers,
Before his eyes, his best friend's life was robbed.

He watched as they lay his body to rest,
Into the darkness, beneath the frost.
All the light inside of him went out,
And in the darkness he got lost.

He forgot the warmth of his mother's arms.
And could no longer picture his best friend's face.
He lost his job, and went into debt,
And felt he no longer had a place.

It was then he decided to join the force,
And live the rest of his life behind a gun.
All he wanted was to be a good man,
And make up for all the harm he had ever done.

It was only in the darkness he realised,
The phantom still lingered within his soul.
It ****** out all the light he ever had in him,
And left his heart as black as coal.

He now dreams of that phantom every night,
And awakens suddenly in a cold sweat.
He steps off his bunker onto the cold floor,
And is reminded of a night he can never forget.

The night when the phantom first slithered into his infant dream,
And he was lifted into his mother's arms, out of the cold.
He remembers her soothing voice, and her fingers through his hair.
But most of all he misses her solid heart of gold.

It's then he thinks about the love of his life,
And how she had once loved his heart of gold.
And it's only then, as he takes a look around him,
He realised what she meant when she said his life was sold.

He sees now, he made a big mistake,
When he stepped into the darkness away from the light.
He could not protect his brother from the bullies,
And he lost his best friend to an attacker in that fight.

Were brought to question why he let the phantom take over,
And lead him into a life out in the unknown.
What was it that was so attractive in the darkness
That ever made him want to leave home?

"How do you know it's the end?"
She asks me through her tears.
It draws me back into the darkness,
Where I was faced blindly with my fears.
The scratching of heads;
The whimpers of voices;
The constant inconvenience;
And hobston's choices.

What kept me in that consistent loop?
Was it really comfort?
And what made me oblivious to your warped mind,
That did not value me or my effort?
The hatred, oh it's real!
But my heart somehow still broke.
You took with you more than our lifetime,
When you opened your mouth and spoke.

A new path was constructed.
And our moments slipped away.
Your absence became less obvious,
With the passing of every day.
But within me, past all my minds thoughts,
There is a feeling hidden deep down inside.
It dents my negativity and forgives all my regrets,
And it's the single reason I cried.

Because inside you, I seen potential,
For you to be loving, kind and true.
A man who could put others before himself,
My life partner, who would help me through.
And the darkness created that image.
Without light, I was blind.
I could not see your true colours,
Or the mask you hid behind.

Sometimes you allowed the light in,
And your beauty was something real.
You were more than that potential man,
And no hatred did I feel.

We had a future, though you did not believe it.
But that faded away with you.
I think it was all just for the better,
As your last words were the most true.

And now I'm standing before my reflection,
Asking myself how you know it's the end, for real?
And the answer is simple when you look at your surrounding,
Only to find, silence is all you really feel..

He said:
“Hello there,
I didn't catch your name?”
He said:
His part
And then I did the same.
He said:
“I like you,
You're different than the rest.”
He said:
“I feel lucky!”
He thought that he was blessed.
He said:
“Be with me..
I swear it's where you belong.”
He said:
“I promise you,
I'm rarely ever wrong”
He said:
“I trust you,
You won't be making a mistake.”
He said:
“You know me,
I won't let your heart break.”
He said:
“I love you..
I could only love you less.”
He said:
“I'm sorry..
But there's something I must confess..”
He said:
“I'm leaving you,
But I hate that we should part.”
He never said:
He'd be the one,
Who would break my heart.

I stand here today:
The mayor of this broken town;
The president you needed;
The one to lead us home.

Except today, you sit.
You do not feel joyous.
You do not believe.
You have fallen, clutching for dear life.

Tomorrow, I think, will be more.
Lustrous I am, at the thought:
Of my own words;
Of my own promises.

Give to you what I plan for me,
Giving back what I did not take.
Tomorrow, you will have more than today,
You will have more than you could ever dream.

Realism was never my strong point.
I stand here full of dreams.
I stand here with less than you need.
But I stand here.

Because yesterday was the worst of all.
Yesterday broke us.
Yesterday took a piece of us with it,
Took more than we can replace.

You sit quietly, teasing the words from my mouth.
It is you I stand here for.
Your soulless eyes waiting,
For me, for more.

I can't pretend I know what happened,
I think it's what others call fate.
But everyone around me changed when you left,
And any liking they had for you turned into hate.
You became the outcast,
No longer part of our clann.
You were no longer welcome in our homestead,
When we met you on the street, you were just another man.
I'm sorry it turned out like it has,
I wanted to have you there till the end.
Because, although there was a major age gap,
I still seen you as our friend.
People begrudge change because it reshapes our lives,
But maybe they're just jealous they settled too quick.
Just know that I wish you all of life's successes,
And remember they are only words, they are not sticks.

Is this where it ends?
The pouring of words,
The same as the rain against the window.
Moisture to the grass.
Safely unlatching the gate,
The horses huff in the darkness.
The sky so bare,
But it reminds me of someone else;
Beneath his chin, beneath our dreams.
Is this where we have come?
To my insincerities,
To my lies, disguised as truths.
Half-truths, we will say.
Your arms an honour:
Your doors are opening,
Finally,
But I am locked behind my own.
Is this where the road ends?
Cooped up for too long,
The light has escaped our space;
Casting shade in your eyes
And doubt on me.
With the road that lay ahead, breaking slowly,
Crumbling in slow motion:
So loudly, so harshly.
Is this where we end?
Individual thoughts on the unknown:
Opinions and perspective
The world went upside down when you spoke,
Tossing me off my feet,
The red of my hair the last thing I recall.
An inner voice spoke then:
The clucks and the chatters faded.
Until it all became void.
But this is not the first time,
This will not be the last.
Although, it is the end:
To the vanilla latte air,
To the inconvenience.
The pins on the map are all mine now,
The administration is yours.
I have no more debt,
And the circles never combined anyway.
The sun sets while we look away,
As always,
And then we drift off:
Into the abyss, into our own worlds,
Into individuality.
Until we find our voices,
And start again.

I think it's about time I told you this,
It's the same almost every night.
Even in my dreams, I know the feeling I get
When I see your face in sight.

The blueness of the oceans,
And even of the skies,
Could never compare to the beauty
Of that within your eyes.

Each time I find myself running.
But I'm never running toward.
This time, I've found, is different,
With you, I'm running forward.

There is never a destination,
I just seem to run the same mile,
Until I catch your eyes within the crowd
And I suddenly feel myself smile.

I concentrate on it's appearance.
I want to make it look real.
But the truth is that, inside of me,
Fear is all I feel.

Fear that I've been fooled again.
That you're just a mirage I can see.
That you're a home I've built up to keep me safe,
And you'll just crumble down softly.

I'm telling you this because I want you to know,
The feelings inside me are strong.
But despite my desire to be by your side,
I really feel like I don't belong.

It's like I've slipped off of a mountain top,
And my rope's scraping off the edge.
It's risky to pull myself back up,
As I'm held on by only a single thread.

I continue to run, but my mile's cut short,
As I awaken out of my dreams.
Somewhere inside I don't want to know,
What happens when I reach you, it seems.

I imagine I keep running toward you,
Until the moment I finally get near.
And I find that I was right all along,
As you just vanish into the thin air..

They never knew the meaning
to the words so common said.
They use their words in unison
and take pride in how they lead
you straight into a hallway,
with multiple open doors,
and carved a hole around you,
to let you seep into the floor.

They never thought you thought about
the world without you there.
To take a look around themselves,
and see one empty chair.
And once all of those doors slammed
right into your face,
they swallowed up that pride they had,
and restored your inner grace.

They never believed there was
one more,
who felt the same, exact.
It never struck them how she was,
too mildly, could she act.
To notice the pain she hid so deep,
she thought you'd make no stir.
Talking meant so little then,
but it did so much for her.

Know this: the rain does not only
fall upon you..