nothing like
cigarettes
and skin care
in the morning

there's a monster in me.
it keeps whispering things. so loud. that my mind could burst anytime soon.
inhabit, control, taking over; messing me up inside.
oh mama, i must obey it,
the one i shouldn't commit.
oh mama, how could i live?
in a body i cannot forgive.
please mama, bring some water; pour me the rain, a very heavy rain.
embrace me, hug me, drown me—wiped it all the monster away,
i don't think i could find any other way.

I am the hummingbird now

I am the one with wings a million miles an hour and not enough nectar

I am too small to notice but when you do notice me I am the most beautiful thing you could ever see

However it is getting colder now,
Colder than it has ever been,
And my wings have forgotten how to move quicker than lightning,
And I will fall louder than thunder in this neighborhood,
I will die a martyr for your eyes and a sweet tooth for your candy

Salt shaker pepper jack dinner table,
I am a lonely man,
My family has since gone away but this house is still as full as ever,
I set the plates and silverware out with a candle for each

I have become my own apostle, disciple of my memory’s Christ, and when this dinner is over I will have realized that I was the one who betrayed myself

I still talk to the dead about them, and I am not scared of their reactions any longer

And when I ring the dinner bell, I will sit and eat and fellowship with everyone all at once

And we will break bread, like my wings when I am cold

And we will drink wine, red like nectar from the backyard

And when I finally go, there will be thunderstorms in this neighborhood

Does your kiss
Still taste
Like everything
I drank to forget?