I still uncover shards of him
Splintered glass buried deep within
I scratch the scabs just on the surface
Nails digging with a purpose
Some dark thoughts go undetected
These cuts run deep and feel infected
Weighted shrapnel riddles me
But I know I'm loved, I know I'm free
Some things just put me in that place
Where I thought things would never change
Where guilt would drip from every word
And spite was the dagger meant to hurt
The ground alight with coals and ash
Where I held my breath as I slipped past
Clutching nothing but insincere apologies
I learned to feed his selfish greed
So when there's pressure on old scars
I'm sorry if I flinch too hard
And when the alcohol burns against my skin
Please hold me tight as it sinks in

A clicking of keys,
The soft, white glow of my screen,
Writing poetry.

A light so warm and so inviting
An ember of soul I watched igniting
It lit the darkness of my prison
From the floor I stood arisen
I reached through bars towards the flame
Fingers stretched I tried to claim
It seemed so far and I was lost
I sit and watch the creeping frost
In my cage the beast was looming
His snarling words and restless fuming
He slashed my hands and yanked my chain
Howling rage and endless pain
I watch the flame, the beast asleep
It shows my hidden wounds cut deep
I see my skin cracking apart
I hold my knees and feel the dark
Which keeps at bay only just beyond
The bright flame's warmth with which I bond
And every night from dusk till dawn
My thawing heart to it is drawn
It beckons me to leave this place
My shackles gone without a trace
I bring the fire close to me
It does not burn, it sets me free.

I am a girl who always smiles
I can walk in pain a hundred miles
But when I break, my mask is gone
And you pretend that I am strong.

When I am weak, you drag me behind
Instead of picking me up, and saying it's fine
When I am afraid, you push me ahead
I shiver in fear, please hold me instead.

Today I thought of the trees.
The redwoods standing tall.
The smell of the rain on the leaves.
The beautifully eternal green fall.

Today I remembered the ocean.
The crisp, salty breeze.
The cold and rough emotions.
The endless broken seas.

Today I heard that song again.
The one that filled my soul.
The memories I can't contain.
The one that made me whole.

You slam the door in anger, in frustration you mutter my name.
You pound your fist against the wall, I cringe and feel your pain.
My words dry in my mouth, a word against you I dare not speak.
My body shys away from you, I feel my knees getting weak.
You vent your fury in a whirling rage, leaving devastation in its wake.
Your words leaving gashes across my face, carrying on not realizing your mistakes.

Eyes of fire
Skin of glass
Scorching, burning
Rasping breath
Cutting, ripping
down cracked throats
Gasping, rasping
Reaching, grasping
Clawing at their throats

Petrified

Starfish on the rocks
Buffeted by the ocean
They never let go.

Blood and fury boiling
I caress the raging waters,
I try to calm their roiling
But create a hurricane.

Lightning strikes the walls
Burning holes within my heart
Down my face, the rain is falling
As the world around me rips apart.

His name brings ancient memories.
Shaken from the dust and dreams.
My heart, to him a piece I gave.
A silver chain, a peaceful day...

My mind is lost in dark red trees
A haunting song in the canopy
My body tossed in loving waves
And the ocean far begins to fade...

Where raindrops fall but never freeze,
Her kindness brings me to my knees.
My heart to her, a piece I gave.
A fading star, I wish I'd stayed...

The storm has gone
It's eerily quiet
As darkness creeps in
I try not to fight it.

My body is broken
****** and mangled
I hug my knees closer
My heartstrings all tangled.

My skin is stripped away
Taking my protection
My thoughts are dull rusty blades
Cutting deep, horrid infections.

A passing thought of your soft grin
Tugs my heart strings taut and humming
They play sweet songs like violins
Adrift in clouds of silk and honey

A sun burns bright within my heart
It shines for you a world apart
I feel you there reaching for me
And in your arms I long to be

I feel you here within my heart
A world away, but not apart
In dreams I play our first embrace
picturing your smiling face



the quiet warmth of knowing
you exist with me tonight
soothes me into peaceful sleep
as I bathe in morning light

I watch the window to your world
Dreaming of reaching through that glass
I'd crawl into your sleeping arms
And leave behind the past

Catching a glimpse of your soft smile
I feel my own heart beating
but opened eyes tear you away
for dreams, the fickle things, are fleeting



Embers smolder deep within
Spreading, rising to my throat
A gasp of air, I catch my breath
As flames of desire ignite

But desolate winds gather in my chest
As the fires fight to stay alight
I hold myself, a hollow shield
This empty space inside grips tight

Our scales of time they tip opposing
My last life lies there decomposing
I suffocate amongst her ashes
Her rotting flesh and bleeding gashes
A dark chained vigil I hold beneath
Spitting lies between clenched teeth
The haunting fiend picks through her bones
Snatching fragments for his throne
He rips apart my new beating heart
In hopes the last he might restart

She was sick, her mind eroding
Her love, her hope, her doors were closing
She tipped the sands, for him she stayed
A gamble with time, alone she played
Her lifeless heart, she locked away
To face the pain another day
His emotions filled her empty chest
Spilling through the cracks of stress
A ghost she watched her life move by
With fear of loss and fear to fly.