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 Jul 2017 JT
Megan H
My heart brought happiness
Back to my life
And my mind
Made it go away

It's 12 am
And you're at my door
My chest says yes,
But my brain says, "no more."
You walk away confused
While I stand in the doorway
With my heart in my throat
And the pain coursing through my veins
I'm thinking, "My God, this is insane"
I whisper, "I'm sorry.
You deserve better than me.
You're too pure for this darkness*"
I hope one day you will see
Why I had to make you leave.
Sometimes you have to push people away so they can find their way back to the light.
 Jul 2017 JT
Megan H
Grief?
 Jul 2017 JT
Megan H
They say there's stages of grief
But I don't remember-
Making it through those
When did looking at your picture-
Become unfamiliar?
Who is that man?
What is the sound of his voice?
How much did he love me?
What was he hiding?
I don't remember going through
The stages of grief.
But apparently,
It made me forget you

Maybe coping is overrated.
 Jul 2017 JT
g
what is love
 Jul 2017 JT
g
5 year old me
thought it was
sharing things with people
crying with them

12 year old me
thought it was
holding hands
the term "boyfriend"

15 year old me
thought it was
kissing
touching

18 year old me
now understands
love comes in many different forms
sometimes in words
sometimes in expressions
sometimes in staying
and sometimes in leaving.
maybe someday i can fully comprehend what love is :")
 Jul 2017 JT
Xiao - SparKticas
If with you there is nothing to gain,
Then you will always be my favourite kind of pain.

They ask me why I still talk to you,
Perhaps it’s because I don't truly believe we're through.

So I book another appointment,
Met with yet another disappointment.

I’d say I believe everyone deserves a second chance,
But so many later I’m not sure I’m worth a second glance.

I wish I could expel the emotions in my heart,
Whilst I remain silent, allowing myself to fall apart.

Why do I do this to myself?
When you’ve already put us on the shelf.

At times I find myself craving your pain,*
Even if there is nothing to gain.
I really wish I knew how to express how I feel, how I hurt, how I hope.
 Jul 2017 JT
Megan H
She said,
I want to die
Just let me die.

And I felt her words
Throughout the entirety of my soul
Because I knew
I knew.

We sat there stroking her back
He and I.
As she kept saying
I want to die
I looked up at him
And I saw it in his eyes
And he saw it in mine
Because he knew.
He knew.

Three broken people
Sitting at a party together.
Her sober thoughts coming out
As drunk words.
I heard it in her voice,
He saw it in my eyes,
I saw it in his eyes,
And for one second,
None of us were alone
Together we shared the pain.
Because we knew.
We knew.
 Jul 2017 JT
Akira Chinen
soft sins
 Jul 2017 JT
Akira Chinen
Whisper to me of soft sins
and hard moans
I want to know
who you are in the dark
When you are naked and alone
I want to feel the stain
of your wet kisses
up and down my kneck
Push me onto my back
and carve your name
into my chest
Sink your teeth
into the corner
of the inside of my thigh
There is no pain
when I have the pleasure
of being in the reflection
of the carmel desire in your eyes
Pull me under the secret universe
you hide in the mad love
within the pulse
and rhythm of your stars
Drown my breath in the colors
and pallet of the beauty
of your blood red lips of lust
Leave the scent
and taste of your flower
To haunt the eternal hunger
you have seared
into the marrow of my bones
It is only by the warmth
of your breath
that I can enjoy death
and rise and die again
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