while you're
down there

I will
be here

trying
to see me
like I see you

eyeing the shine
not picking at
the cracks

filling them
with gold dust
lacquered soul

winking at flecks
in the fissures

I hope you find
what's calling you
to the bottom

and swim it to
the serifed shore

I'll help you
pick the seaweed
from your sunken shatters

and lick the grit
till I unlock
your lips

oh darling this is all but a dream
you filling my heart with kerosene
dropping a match and engulfing me in flames

but all fires die, and you don't feel the same

A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?



The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.



I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.



I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.



I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.



If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

How I
See myself,

Is not how
You
See me.

Thankfully.

I think my emotions have gripped me enough,
My heart can only beat so slow.
The fear has made me an incomparable waste,
The kind I wish I didn't know.

My fear to fail, my worry to rise,
The final fall out of line
Has shook my bones, I don't want to feel alone,
I want to try to be fine.

I'm scared I'll fail, I'm scared you'll laugh,
But isn't that what's wrong?
These moments wont last forever,
Why haven't I realised, I wont last forever,
It's time for this chapter to be gone.

and you said:  "I hope you like chocolate."



(sonnet  #MMMMMMCCCLI)


I've not had choclate, nor a taste, in pale
Excuse, for that in days, perhaps cuz hence
You called yourself that, and my hunger thence
Was only for whom stole aught else, t'avail
Me of:  just you.  And oh! how that detail
In lieu of packaged squares, eats me and sense
Out of both home and hearth, ne crumb to fence
The **** is't? yet smudges in betrayl.
Oh, Adrian!  There I must leave off.  Were--
What?  Savour ah, minutest crumbs, roll too
Across your tongue that darkest morsel your
Soul yields itself up to, and ah, foil to
Glint, crinkle, tease, nor but in silver tour
Hold lo, exquisite heights:  what's I love you?

17May17a