nominal

nominal Aug 2014

Bloom

Pathetic are the mid-night thoughts
about your future love
your past heartbreaks
your poorly thought out hook-ups

Sad are the mid-night thoughts
about the loss of those important
what you could have achieved but never did
and maybe never will

Depressing are the mid-night thoughts
about what a burden you are to everyone
how you'd never hurt again if you weren't alive
that everything you do will never amount to anything

But, it's time for me to move past those emotions
on to something better
an emotion I've never truly felt
that only I can control
and that's the happy mid-night thoughts
about tomorrow and what I might achieve
who I could make smile
what pretty faces I may see

#suicide #sad #depression #life #lonely #pain #alone #happy #pathetic #smile

nominal Aug 2014

Distant Matter

I watch the grey skies turn to black every day
Hoping that they'll pull me away with them
Then I might find a home
Maybe then I won't be so alone

#suicide #sad #depression #lonely #pain #alone #hurt #suicidal

nominal Aug 2014

Cold Stone

Not even the warmth of your embrace could stop the coldness within me from freezing my heart

#suicide #sad #depression #anger #death #hurt #evil #you #youth #isolate

nominal Jun 2014

Disconsolate

Every day is a strenuous battle just to keep marching forward.
The future terrifies me.
I can only hope I won't hurt then as much as I do now...
But, sometimes soldiers need to retire.
That doesn't make me weak, but vulnerable.
I'm an open target
but I'm on the verge of collapsing.
There aren't enough words to describe how I feel every day,
none strong enough or meaningful enough to describe this pain buried deep into my bones.
I want to ascend away, far, far away from here.

*What the ****
am I supposed to do?
I can't always hold onto false hope.

#suicide #sad #depression #sadness #death #alone #hurt #suicidal #youth #torn

nominal Jun 2014

Worthless

I can’t shake this feeling like I’m a bother to be around.
 Not important enough for someone to muster up a conversation with first 
Not important enough to wait for
 Not good enough to be the first option or best friend  
Not good enough to please anyone 
Not worth much at all.
 I’m so deep under this depression and I’m not sure how to get out

#sad #depression #sadness

nominal Jun 2014

Muted Emotion

Here I lay, on my floor with shame.
You already know who I am,
the person I cannot change.
Your faults drive me closer,
my lack drives you further.
You, the beautiful beast.
I crave you and all you seem to be.
I'd change everything to be what you wanted, what you need.
No matter the shame or guilt you might feel in what you are..
I can still tell it will be my midnight craving.
Take a chance with me,
I could be all you've ever wanted a man to be.
We're perfect together, can't you see?

#love #heartbreak #sad #want #desire #need #pain #hurt #craving #lusting

nominal Jun 2014

Desolation

I'm above the clouds,
swimming with high hopes;
holding onto my dear life.
Please winds, carry me to the happiest place,
because I swear I wish to feel no more.
I walk on thin ice
hoping to make my way across.
Take my hand, guide me there.
I couldn't let you go even if I tried.
Show me that life can be beautiful,
that pain has a prize.

#suicide #poem #poetry #fear #sad #depression #life #heart #pain #sadness #death #anxiety #hope #dark #thoughts #suicidal #youth