Once
I met a boy with soft grey eyes
that matched the color of his sweatshirt
His smile was tentative but it made him mildly more attractive
He didn't say much but he listened intently
And I wondered what he was thinking
But he gave nothing away
Once
I talked to a boy with soft grey eyes
that peered into mine
and blond hair
that he kept pushing off of his forehead
In closer proximity with him I realize
He's a very striking young man
Once
I had dinner with a boy with soft grey eyes
that paired well with the purple shirt he was wearing
Everything he said captivated me
He talked steadily but quietly
He was charming and funny
and I have never been so hypnotized
Once
I fell in love with a boy with soft grey eyes
and a heart bigger than his head
He brushed kisses over my forehead like the words he spoke
Gentle and sweet but strong
so that I knew he loved me too
Once
I fought with a boy with soft grey eyes
that projected his silent anger
when he had no more to say
It was my fault and I pushed him too far
until his face turned dark
and he let his hair fall onto his face
because he was too enraged to push it away
But he never rose his voice
he never yelled
he always kept the love in his voice
But once
I lost a boy with soft grey eyes
Because the soft grey turned dark
until the love seemed to slip away
It was still there, I knew, but it was harder to see
And I still thought about the boy I met that day
Quiet and reserved
hardly saying two words but he slowly stole my heart
but taking it all away until I wished I had met him
Only once

Benign, benevolent ballerina bubbly bathing by beautiful blossoming balsams.

A gander I took and I was a statue, still, allured, and enchanted. my lips basted by beauty, before her I was an apparition, lost in forests of adulation.

A vanishing spirit soon to be a vestige of a vestige. I shall wage wars, arm myself and battle my way to her hands that can melt the glaciers residing in my heart.

I cried the entire way home because of you.
Because I had to leave a birthday party because of you.

You've taken a piece of me I'll never ever get back.
You've taken my life away or whatever it was actually.

Your face intrudes my mind and your sharp words pierce my ears over and over again.

It's been 12 years.
12 years.

How have I not forgotten by now?
It's been 12 years.

Because to me it's equivalent to my limbs missing.
You've taken pieces of me that I did not give you permission to take.

And no one stopped you.
It's been 12 years, and I cried the entire way home.

She folded me up like origami, turning something used into something beautiful
And smoothing out the creases of my geometric heart she kissed goodbye the girl she called art.

When I look at the photograph of you on your wedding day,
I can see all of us stretched out into the future.
As we lay your bones to rest under the earth you enriched,
Where your feet touched,
where you played as a child,
then Walked hand in hand with your soul mate.
Could you have imagined that photograph standing guard?
Proud and watchful over all of us yet to be born.
This family tree spreading it's branches.
New life now and the past yet to come.
Rest in peace you are not forgotten
by us to be.
Remembered in the feet that walk past your image today.
Did you ever imagine who lay ahead
in the smile on your wedding day?

I am so afraid to wake up every morning and I am so afraid of the unknown because the possibilities of what can happen in between a small twenty-four hour period terrifies me
and this is why I am so afraid to get to know you because I am almost certain once I do I will fall for you harder than I've ever fallen before
and I am almost certain that eventually I will have to recover from that fall
I have just lost so many that I am afraid to lose any more
I don't want to have to put myself together after someone leaves again
I am just so afraid of loss
and I think it's because I've lost something so long ago that I still can't seem to find,
myself
where did I go?
where will you go?