my first kiss felt like
the urge to find shelter under a shadow
while walking barefoot on hot sand during a sunny day

but also my first kiss felt like
hurrying to go back to bed under my warm blankets
cause it's freezing anywhere else at the peak of the winter

my first kiss felt like
I was thirsty as if dehydrated
and my hands where searching desperately for a cup of water

and my first kiss felt like
extreme hunger craving to eat
something sugary, something sweet

at last my first kiss felt like
longing for someone when they promised to come
but that never happened
and for that reason
my kiss wasn't with the one I loved
but I pretended it was all along

the monster that people say I am
is nothing but parts of them
they built over me
their gullible blank space

I wish I could write
more than simple words
but deeper than convoluted *******

no matter what language
the words would fall into place
the right position in a sentence

before I realize
all of these perfect words already came out
either in the form of a poem
or in the form of a complaint