Pain is a cloud of fog that's constantly following me, shadowing over my existence and the rain is steady pouring faster with each strike to my heart and every rumble in my soul.

Love is the shelter protecting me from the storm of heartaches that keep building and raging through the nights and with his arms around me, I'm in the safest place I know.

i always wanted to believe in the goodness of people.
i always sought to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
i always strived to go above and beyond to make others happy.

but what was it all for?
in trying so hard to help everyone else,
i lost myself in the process.
who am i anymore?
i don't know my soul.

this person, this being, i don't know myself!
it was so frightening.
i'm trying to regain a sense of self awareness,
to find out who the **** i am.

but until then,
until i find every piece of the scavenger hunt,
please be patient with me.
i need some time for self discovery.

vivid imagery
plays through my dangerous mind
like an ancient film

Mum
why won't you listen?
when I say I had a panic attack
you say 'don't be stupid, just because your friend gets them doesn't mean you do'
I can't help it, I close my mind off and denied the fact this happens because you think it's a choice
but I have one question why the **** would you want to feel like you're going to pass out or not be able to breathe? And what person would pretend this happened?
So I had a panic attack
you say 'stop being stupid'
I can't talk to you without you thinking I'm acting or you being ignorant to the point where I feel like I'm worthless and you don't care.

there's nothing better
than a warm embrace after
the coldest silence