You're a bouqet of wildflowers
I'm an average red rose
We're an odd set of valentine gifts

You're a sky dive over California
I'm a picnic in the park
We're a weird combination on a date

You're a sunset on the Bahamas
I'm a hot day in Arizona
We're so far apart

You're everything I want to be and have
I'm nothing you even think about
We're something that just can't be done

I don't know
If I find it more beautiful
That we can read different books
And feel the same way,
Or that we can reread the same book
At separate parts of our lives
And feel different.

I guess it's the same as loving people.

I wanted to get a wasp tattooed onto my arm,
But you didn't like the idea.
The wasp is meant to represent my internal battle,
of your acceptance, my desperation, but mostly the fear.

The fear that you wouldn't like what I was doing,
Because Mother is God in the eyes of a child.
Yet, ironically, you raised me to think for myself,
Bohemian and wild.

The tattoo is supposed to remind me,
that sometimes when you feel life is falling apart,
it's just life falling into place,
like when your disapproval smashes against my heart.

in a parallel universe
you never broke me
and you still speak of me
with love on your tongue

in a parallel universe
your eyes still drip with desire
begging for me to come closer
rather than never even looking my way

in a parallel universe
you still love me
as much
as i still love you

in a parallel universe
is where my heart lives
and maybe that's why i'm not over you
because in some world i still hold your heart

and in all worlds you still hold mine

s.s

They judge you for crying,
for not being stronger.
Then blame you for trying
to not live any longer.
Like it's your fault
you are like this,
but once you're gone,
they'll utter
"Oh you will be missed"

Tell you to wake up
to reality
when you couldn't even
put yourself to sleep
At night you cry at pillows
your tears are sinking deep

They smirk at your condition
"It is all in your head"
But in front of everybody,
they shout,
"We support mental health!"

They'll ask you
why you're sad
ask for a tons of reason
But you don't even know why
and why you,
of all people?

They invalidate
your feelings
"All you need is attention!"
But when you die,
they'll whisper,
"I wonder what's the reason"

But all along
they'll wash
their hands
It's as if
they are clean.
But the ones who
pretend they don't
are the ones
*who unintentionally ****.

Flower petals and confetti litter the ground.
Balloons held up by your friends.
Curious passersby gathering around.
You,being pushed towards the center of attention.
You, alone, in the middle of it all.
His friends wearing letters on their shirts,
Shuffling to spell out-

“will you marry me?”
It flashes on the jumbotron
In lieu of the kiss cam.
Fans hooting everywhere
“Say yes! Say yes!”, they scream
As he kneels on that popcorn and soda littered floor
And repeats-

“will you marry me?”
He says as his now sister-in-law gives you her bouquet.
His and everyone else’s eyes are on you.
Even though it’s his brother’s wedding’s reception,
he still managed to capture all the attention
Towards the two of you.

His eyes are brimming with tears
and glistening like the ring he’s holding.
He loves you. So much.
You love him,too. You know you do.
But how do you say I love you and no at the same time.
“I love you but, no.”
That doesn’t seem right.
So you stay on the middle ground and say
“I’ll have to think about it.”

The hooting turns to whispers
The tears on your boyfriend’s eyes come falling down
as he tucks the ring back in his pockets.
Your feet cemented to the ground
As people look at you as if you’re the strangest thing
to have ever existed.
And you may as well be.
No one says no to proposals.
It’s considered rude to reject such a thoughtful gesture.
But to whom is it being thoughtful of
Because it sure as hell isn’t of you
Since you’re the one who’s being viewed as a villain
But you have to remember that you’re not.

You are not a villain for saying no.
You are not the bad guy for not being ready.
Your decision is valid
And if he leaves you
Or makes a villain out of you
for being honest,
Then you were right to reject that ring.

I used to sit outside,
to get my head on right.
And now I think I might,
Just prefer to stay inside.

The winter makes my bones ache
and I feel alone
Most of the time now, most of the time now
Most of the time.

And is this wrong?
Have I been thinking for too long?
All I know is that I don't want to be forgotten
When I'm gone.