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Nov 28 · 28
unfinished
harlee kae Nov 28
this chest is like a vault
and i threw away the key
so you never really get to know
this misunderstood me

i'd rather keep who i am buried
all my real thoughts deep inside
then give you time to hate it
i guess i got too much pride

but it's scary
cause this vault has cracks
so sometimes i start to show
and the person that you get to see
isn't someone you want to know
Oct 24 · 166
life
harlee kae Oct 24
does it ever get better?
Sep 28 · 127
6 am on a school day
harlee kae Sep 28
i stare up
stretch my arms above my head
try to breathe the stars
into my lungs
as they surround me with their vastness
and make me feel so alive
yet so alone

but i think i saw one shooting
and maybe that's a sign
that they shine, not in spite,
but for me
Sep 22 · 170
in my head
harlee kae Sep 22
i'm laying down
on the floor
on my back
in a never ending room

i'm the only one there
and it's spinning
or the world's spinning
or i'm spinning

and it's black
and i can't escape.
Aug 21 · 127
first year blues
harlee kae Aug 21
august, again.
and i'm in a different bed
and a different house
but the same tears fall
as they did a year ago.

and last year they were from
the stress and frustration
of the kids who felt it their life mission
to ignore every word from my lips

this year
from the absence of such.

because best friends with pigtails and converse
just don't come around that often.
Jul 30 · 250
NM
harlee kae Jul 30
NM
look up
they're limitless
so small i am
meaningless
but they give me
significance

close my eyes. breathe.
they're a part of me
i can almost feel them now

rattle them down
i will
somehow
Jul 10 · 138
guzy
harlee kae Jul 10
honesty
and honestly
i feel at peace
and so happy
for the first time
in a long time
i feel me
and i'm proud to be
and i feel us
i feel our trust
back to where we should be
happy
harlee kae Jul 4
when the choices you make are hurting
both you and someone you love
and your feelings feel like a burden
how do you know what's right?
when you feel like your thoughts should be said
and you feel like they need to be heard
but there's so much **** in your head

when you want everyone to be happy
but you don't know what that means
and you dont know which path is right
or which one follows your dreams
Jun 27 · 271
its all ahead
harlee kae Jun 27
the little girl
licks her ice cream cone
as chocolate drips down her chin

someday she could be president
or a doctor
teacher
engineer
someday she might get her heart broken
or buy a car
or dye her hair
a crazy color

but today
she sits by her dad
slurping ice cream
and her world is both
infinitely small
and limitless
May 24 · 230
my heart, it breaks
harlee kae May 24
she left just now
my precious val

i cried
her mom cried too
told me thanks for all i do

it makes it worth it
all the fights
all her screaming
the hard nights

to know they saw
all i tried to give
to know i mattered
to just one kid
May 24 · 182
summer's here
harlee kae May 24
and it's definitely bittersweet
May 23 · 841
life happens in the gray
harlee kae May 23
when you're little
everything feels black and white
good vs evil
a perfectly labeled box
for you to divide people into
experiences into

but the older i get
the more i realize
life is all about the gray
and most things are a mix of good and bad
happy and sad
an abundance of hues
some in crisp lines
and others splattered all about

and that maybe it's up to us
to make the painting worthwhile
i don't know. it was better in my head.
May 22 · 153
"be our art teacher"
harlee kae May 22
okay, draw me your favorite moment..

my favorite moment is when i met you
before i met you i always got in trouble
after you i was better
after you my life started to change
now i can read and write better

ms. schulz.. are you about to cry

yes. probably.
my sweet val, can i adopt you?
harlee kae May 22
cried in the shower again
i can't believe it's the end
somehow, a child's my best friend

she just always brightens my day
in her goofy, intelligent way
and i wish that she could stay

but that's the profession i'm in..
im ******* lame
May 19 · 119
fuck you
harlee kae May 19
maybe there's a fine line
between love and hate
maybe we're together too much
and it's something we can't escape

but i don't know
if i've ever met  a bigger *****
then you
May 19 · 218
one week left
harlee kae May 19
i know i'm gonna cry
gonna hug a lil too tightly
as i watch them
say goodbye

exhausting and exciting
and intense and crazy too
summer's coming quickly
and i don't what i'll do
harlee kae May 19
that's what i imagine
as i watch the sun set
of course i would
think of it in terms of food

i've got a lot of extra stomach
where my stomach used to be
and i don't feel happy
in my own skin

maybe i should try cutting out junk
7 days? start summer off right
but i don't have a good track record
with self control..
i'm just another american problem
May 17 · 258
my counselor said
harlee kae May 17
i'm an adult
and i have to
make my own choices
and i'm only
in charge of myself

i wanna be a kid again
anyone have a time machine they're willing to share?
harlee kae May 16
the kids still need their love
the dogs, they have to be fed
no matter how you are feeling
when you first crawl out of bed

you're doing the best that you can
no matter how small that might feel
sometimes accomplishing another day
is really quite a big deal

in the happy and the hard days
life just keeps on going
and even if it's slowly
i think we're always growing

so be gentle with yourself
we're all a little weird
but that's what makes you beautiful
it's nothing to be feared
happy mental health month.
May 13 · 228
saw a single star
harlee kae May 13
as i drove to work today
and i wondered if it felt lonely
or accomplished
to be the last one standing
May 13 · 231
dance baby
harlee kae May 13
cleaning the living room
dancing around
distracting myself
not wearing a frown
this week will be good
this week will be great
trying positivity
almost can't wait
cuddling with cleo helps
harlee kae May 11
i get sad at night, lonely
i explain
trying to let you know
what's in my head

but you roll your eyes
as you
scamper off to your boyfriend
slamming the door
in my face
i wish i knew how to make friends
May 9 · 121
the revolution is near
harlee kae May 9
here we are
a secret society
essentially strangers
but still alleys in this fight
who encourage, admire, anger, inspire
each other to continue
writing..living
it's said at the end of the day
all you have is yourself
i think we writers have each other
as well
so raise up your pens
call forth the troops
blast out your battle cry
whistle your words
rally together behind the truth of your poetry
and the convictions in your heart

we are here as one
hurting and healing and harmoniously having
our fits of passion, heartbreak, doubt, and discoveries

maybe not in the first line of defense
but really, what's a good fight
without someone to write of it
sorry hp, i stayed up reading. i'm full of declarations.
May 7 · 241
my work here is done
harlee kae May 7
today we read a book
about a very naughty puppy

in the end
his humans told him they loved him
no matter what mistakes he made

one of my kids looked up and said
hey, that's how you feel about us
May 6 · 86
a sext
harlee kae May 6
talk conspiracies to me
May 5 · 283
another few miles
harlee kae May 5
someday,
i'll outrun it all
May 3 · 140
celestial and luna
harlee kae May 3
another week
come and gone
and maybe
i scream too much
and maybe
i don't do as good as i could

but for the first time
val let me keep her drawings
because shes going to miss me this summer

the ponies of moon and sun
made me think of us

and sky said
i'll love you forever
ive never had a better teacher

and maybe they're 7
and maybe they'll forget me
in a year or two

but for now
they're my world
and i'm theirs
and for now
that's enough
harlee kae May 2
and i don't know if that's allowed
or if i'm just too basic of a *****
for it to matter

but i'm dancing in the kitchen
to j cole
and making galaxy cookies
as valeona would call them

and maybe i get the hype
maybe 5/10 ?
maybe a 6. i don't know these things..
May 1 · 173
silence
harlee kae May 1
is so loud

just turn on some tunes

and jam
May 1 · 109
everything
harlee kae May 1
that comes together
has to fall apart
maybe that's the only
true thing from the start
Apr 26 · 128
something silly
harlee kae Apr 26
me and you stick together
we're like glue
i'm the gloopy stuff
and you're the bottle
said by my favorite student
as she wrapped her arms around me
making the negativity seem to dissipate
i have no idea what i'll do this summer
Apr 26 · 86
small talk
harlee kae Apr 26
that's all it is
my day
surrounded and consumed
with hi how are you
hows your day
good i guess
is always what i say

but small talk is boring
no one here knows me
surrounded and consumed
by an environment of falsehood

i just want a real conversation
Apr 26 · 166
asking for a friend
harlee kae Apr 26
do/did you take medication
for your mental health?

what was your experience?
i'm just trying to make it all make sense
Apr 22 · 183
"unicorns arent real"
harlee kae Apr 22
we believe this
because its what we're told
because magic like that can't be true

but maybe they are real
or maybe that isn't the point

maybe believing in yourself,
believing in your dreams,
feels like believing in a fictitious creature

imagine how excited you'd be
(how excited the world would be)
to discover that unicorns exist

have the same excitement towards yourself
let yourself be seen
and not just the best parts

let your messy parts show
let yourself be loved
for who you really are

maybe that
is magic in itself
Apr 21 · 122
just be you
harlee kae Apr 21
said my counselor
i'm not sure i know who that is
i responded

you are worthy she said
you are in charge of your happiness

so i'm trying
i'm not sure who i am
but i'm trying to find it
not really a poem. just me, holding myself accountable for my happiness, for once. trying to find my way no matter what anyone thinks. just be you.
Apr 19 · 87
what's a phone
harlee kae Apr 19
if not another reminder
that i have no friends
Apr 18 · 354
cynical sister
harlee kae Apr 18
try for conversation
but you lack the motivation
simple reciprocation
is what i'll settle for

because our interests are divided
but our pathways are united
only sometimes i feel slighted
when i realize that it's true

and yeah you ask about my day
but don't listen to what i say
or do i just feel this way
i think i think too much
at least you let me look at the books
harlee kae Apr 17
another day

bad guy again

try for kindness

drown in sin
so don't be proud of me
harlee kae Apr 15
i'm lucky
to hear it everyday
from a sweet little girl
that truly believes it

while another wraps her arms around me
and tells me that she missed me
since she last saw me (16 hours earlier)

and a third
twirls circles around me
and tells me she hopes i'm happy

for you see, i'm a teacher
and this year has been the hardest
but they only saw the best in me
even when i didnt deserve it

so love like a child
show your vulnerabilities
tell people what's special about them
and look for the best in each other

and look for the best in yourself
i have 28 days left with my babies and it kind of breaks my heart. life passes quickly. so look for the beauty in each moment. and make them count.
Apr 9 · 180
dilemma
harlee kae Apr 9
not being able to eat dinner
before i weigh myself

(that way i know if i'm allowed)
Apr 6 · 107
untitled again.
harlee kae Apr 6
now we can't speak
and the rain hurts my head
and i try to remember
all the words that were said

because this one hurts worse
it's not the same kind of end
before we were anything
we were always best friends
Apr 1 · 519
Untitled
harlee kae Apr 1
what is a heart
what is a head
if one is alive
must the other be dead
if one is in charge
of the picking and choosing
will the other be left
with the hurt and the losing
Mar 28 · 118
rainbow connection
harlee kae Mar 28
i saw a glimmer of a rainbow
just a streak
enough to get me excited
you see
i've been teaching about rainbows
i asked my sister
do you know how a rainbow is formed

she danced around
said i dont care
and what was i to do but smile

and i know it seems so simple
the conversation
and it was i suppose
nothing she will remember in the least

but it hit me
that deep pain in my chest
that feeling
of wanting to rant about rainbows
to someone who would listen
Mar 27 · 431
phases of the moon
harlee kae Mar 27
the moon looks split right now
sometimes i think that's me
but  i know the other halves up there
at times it's just hard to see
Mar 24 · 160
broken world
harlee kae Mar 24
look in the mirror
what do you see?
ugly
liar
cheater
..or is that only me

look in the mirror
maybe there's more
then this perfect person
you've been striving for
Mar 20 · 241
the moon is so bright
harlee kae Mar 20
i think it must be full
i guess we have that in common
Mar 7 · 260
and i am worst of all
harlee kae Mar 7
wanted it both ways
but i couldn't have that
and now i have neither
yeah i fell flat

my heart is so fickle
and yours so steady
i was trying my hardest
but i just wasn't ready

now it doesn't matter
it's come to an end
i wish i didn't have to
lose a best friend

that's part of the deal
i know that it's true
but i don't really know
what i'm supposed to do
Mar 7 · 486
better
harlee kae Mar 7
you never let me down
i hope you know its true
a million things have crashed and burned
not one of them is you
Mar 7 · 157
4:42 am
harlee kae Mar 7
i woke up to pack
but now it doesnt feel right
because i cant talk to you
and its the middle of the night

i know you made your choice
and i know i made mine
and i have to believe
this will all turn out fine

but things seem more hazy
or maybe more clear
when its 4:42
and you cant be here
Mar 6 · 115
close your eyes
harlee kae Mar 6
you beat me to it
the words in my head
cant say i'm surprised
always one step ahead

cause you missed that part
closing your eyes
when you wake up and shower
and think of my thighs

yeah you missed that part
after cooking and breathing
the closing your eyes
to keep me from leaving

but as i was jamming
and noticed whats missing
you wrote it all down
as if you were listening

so maybe you dont
close them anymore
to rattle the stars
as you stand on the floor
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