Dear Universe,

Why do you have to be so amazing? And why Do i feel like one of the few who really notice it?

I wish i could meet everybody in the world.
I wish i could fix everyone's problems.
I love the world. Why can't i make it as wonderful to everybody else as it is in my eyes?

I wish we were still strangers.
I wish you were still that boy that i kept staring at.
I wish you had never hugged me that first time.
I wish you hadn't held me the next night.
I wish i had never said i liked you.
I wish i would've looked a little closer.

Cause my own hopeless stupidity enabled you to play me like a child.

It's funny how we spend the most time on the insignificant ones.
And how we take the most important ones way too lightly.

The wonderful things that make up your person are causing my innards to do back flips.

                 It's  quite amazing really.

IF you were a sad song,
I'd give a happy beat.
And once your lyrics changed,
I'd dance to you all night.

What do you think
About the way i write?

What do you know
About the way i think?

What do you care
About the way i live.

Asking myself these things
I just think
And think
And think.
I don't know the answers.

But i realized  i don't care.
I don't need your approval.
I just need your love.

I wonder what what you're doing
In Heaven at this moment.
I wonder who you're seeing. I know it's much more than you expected.

Are you playing basketball?
Or singing your favorite song?
Are you looking down on us?
Or just on the golden street walking along?

I had a dream.
I was hoping you would show up.
You didn't, though.
You'd think i'd be used to disappointment.

But i'm not.
I'm still that hopeless dreamer that you left.

I cannot fathom a logical reason for being any amount of joy for you.
I don't see how i could make you happy.
It is so far from my mental capacity.
I don't see how i could ever be enough for humanity.
What difference could i make?
How could i show you your own wonderful magnificence without you making you doubt yourself?
How could i show you your own artistic ability without making you hate yourself?
I don't know, but maybe this will help you realize your own worth as well as your insignificance in the grand scheme of things.

Who are you?
Are you the sweet boy that makes me feel the most unfathomable joy?
Or are you the heartless monster that never stops yelling?
It changes every day.
Make up your mind, you heartless wretch.
Cause i can't live like this anymore.

This time i won't get excited.
This time i won't become expectant.
This time i won't be disappointed
When it doesn't unfold like i want.

You never do what you say
But, oh well, what can i do but love you?

I feel like my heart is made of paper.
So fragile. So breakable.
I feel like i have to be so careful.
So hesitant. So untrusting.
I feel like my hands are so shaky.
So nervous. So empty.
I feel like my mind is so crowded.
So unsettled. So tired.

We're talking
      but at the same time we're saying nothing.
Small talk absorbs the silence that we won't let come.
    because silence brings honesty
                                 and you don't do honesty.

And the way is strange down to your heart.
And the path is wide and grows ever dark.
The hour grows late and it's time to go.
I cannot stay here anymore.

I want to be a dragon
So that i don't have to be expected to talk, i can just roar.
I want to be a dragon
So i don't have to stay here, i can fly away.
I want to be a dragon
So i can be beautiful no matter what.
I want to be a dragon
So i can live forever and watch the world change as i remain the same.

Love is not a feeling.
So Stop treating it like one.
Love is not a game.
So stop playing with it.
I am not immortal.
So stop acting like i'll always be here.
You are not as terrible as you perceive.
So stop beating yourself up.
We will not live forever.
So stop wasting your life.
I will not always be here.
So stop taking advantage of me.
You won't either
So won't you stay a while?
Love is not a word.
It's a way of life.
Love is not a figure.
It's an amount of time.

So i fall and i break and i am swept off the ground.
You try and make me talk, but i can't make a sound.
I'm so stunned and so afraid and i don't know what to think of you.
What am i supposed to think about the things you do?
You make me so nervous. What will you do next?
What will we do with this huge mess?
I never thought things would be this way.
I never thought about the things you'd say.
Why are you like this? I don't know what to say.
I'd like to somehow see why you are this way.

I love when you walk.
How you kinda sway like you own the world.
Every other girl is dying to be me right now.
And you don't even know.
Your so unconsciously wonderful.
And all you care about is making sure i'm having a good day.

You seemed so happy on the movie screen.
You brought smiles to all our faces.
We can only hope you're in those Heavenly places.

"Sometimes when you win, you lose."
I'm sure you remember that line.
The reverse is true as well.
So i guess what i mean is,
We love and miss you,  and even though you're gone we know you are in a better place.
               Sometimes when you lose, you win.
My prayers are with your family
And i hope they can see
You made an impact and you'll always be
In our hearts.
So let us see "What dreams may come" because of what you gave us.

Light can only shine through a broken heart.
You can only know what it's like to love if you know what it's like to hurt.
You can only see the beauty in this world if you've seen all the ugly it has to offer.
Feel the joy.
Accept the hurt.
Try for love.
Hope for the best.

I love you, universe.
              
             That is all.

If i was a cloud
Then, my dear you'd be the sun.
Cause you've always shone brighter.
If i was a storm
Then you'd be a summer day.
Cause you've never been happier.
If i was a tear rolling down your face
Then you'd be the smile to wipe me away.
Cause you've always been stronger.
If i was a dark night
You'd be the moon shining on the sidewalk.
Cause you've always been kinder.
If i was a sad day
Then, my dear, you'd be my happy shoes.
Cause you've always been a keeper.

It began with kittens on a warm summer day.
It began with me hoping you would stay.
Going through the months things started to change.
Memories started to fade.
When you were home everything was fine.
There was no sense of space or time.
i shouldn't have to ask you to stay.
You should do that anyway.

I'll never fall for you twice cause i made the sorry mistake of doing it once.

And i just want to let you know that i still think of you.
I don't think of you in the same way, but i think of you nonetheless.
I want you to be doing ok, but not for me. Just for you.
I want you to be loving your life, but not because i'm a part of it. Because you are.