I'm covered in the stain of my own past regressions
I'm buried in the pain of old and new obsessions
I'm crying out in vain, can you hear my confessions
I'm smiling in the rain to hide these tears

It’s easiest to write about the rain
As it rains
And it was easier to write about the pain
When there was pain
But now I don’t write much
Because there’s
Nothing
And
Everything
To talk about
More than enough to doubt
Very little to figure out
Sometimes a personal critic to fight
Before any work is even done
Let alone done right
Levying with the fatigue to propel
To propel forward
For ****’s sake, not back
And it’s not so easy to write
When you just write
And it was not so easy to write
This right

oh, she
moves like a breeze

you'll forget
to breathe

and still
the aura won't leave

it'll linger
and it will freeze

a feeling
you can have
but never owe it

she'll turn any man
into a poet.

Do you
see
me?

Sitting alone
in
the
dark.

My breath
hitched
and
frozen.

Throat closed
unable
to
breathe.

Eyes quivering
against
rabid
thoughts.

Hands shaking
from
irrational
beliefs.

Muscles tight
fearful
of
death.

Eyebrows furrowed
from
incomprehensible
mumblings.

Nightmares exposed.

Do you
see
me?

The rise and the fall
Of the rose petals in a storm
Left to defend with only thorns
And already more than halfway gone

The scent carries on the wind
Of this Rose, I'm guardian
Guarding what is left
Of a beauty left in the past...

Because although they say true beauty never dies
A rose wasn't built to last