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Graff1980 Jan 2017
There is a true fear,
a throbbing ache,
that I hear clear
in my inner ear,
a pounding
sounding
trouble.

The drum beats
racism,
sexism,
xenophobia,
homophobia,
and transphobia.

But in the
presence of patterns
I’ve seen so many times
I become numb.
I am not surprised.

The tears only
wet my eyes
when I spy
good guys
painting over the lies
with peace
chanting
to all,

“Be calm,
because you are loved
and no matter what
we walk with you.”

The drum beats still sound
but my numbness fades
with the rise of hope
for more humane days.
Cause like those loving hearts
I too am with all of you.
Graff1980 Dec 2017
So, let me explore
this strange metaphor
as massive pieces of meat
circle me
in a banquet of
life’s opportunities.

Sweet and succulent
strips of flesh
that were cooked
and laid abreast
to impress all these guests,
are just beyond my reach.

Should I rush
to stretch my hands
possibly knocking over
other things that stand
in my way
to the dismay
of the other dinner guests?

Or should I wait until
the feast reaches me,
sit patiently scheming
for what I will do
when the beef stew
is within arm’s length?

Will this allow all those
surrounding me
to get their fair share?
Or are the pickings out there
like the ones in here
hoarded by the pre-blessed
bunch of privileged fools
who include me to,
should I flip the table
and let the scraps
scatter where they maycont.
hoping that wherever they lay
they make someone else’s day
a little brighter
by making their poor stomach less lighter.
Graff1980 Nov 2020
I am depressed.
because unless
humanity passes
this last test
we will be
putting our
species
to rest
post haste.
Graff1980 Mar 2018
My flesh goosed up
while my eyes
sized up
the mirror man
who was manically
laughing,
imprisoned
by our
momentary madness.

Wasted form
fitted for debasement,
consciousness
ready to face
self-denigration.

Body heat
bubbled up
like wild waves
of red fury
ready to rupture
and spew
hot lava.

Hate bled from my body
as I stared in defiance
longing to commit
depraved acts
of violence
against myself.

Pain pushed me
to escape
this reality,

as I longed for
the sick fog
of slumber
to cease
this sadness.
Graff1980 Sep 2017
The heat is a memory trigger
looking back I figure
all those high temperatures
make a line in my mind
of sensory familiarity.

Sweat on my brow
soaking through
my receding hairline,
wet spots become
darker shades of
whatever color
shirt I am wearing.

No ac because I am
to cheap,
so I sleep
still sweating
with a box fan
pointed towards me.

A gallon of water to drink
and I ride dangerously
on my mountain bike
through countrysides
and city streets
listening to music
that pushes me
with its hastening beat.

Today the heat index
is a hundred and ten plus
very dangerous
to anybody else,
but I have no fear
I have been here
in the clear
summer swelter
for thirty-seven years
and it is kind of fun.
Graff1980 Dec 2019
Oh, the tears of joy
that fill my face,

the salted streaks
of liquid sliding
down the sides
of my age lines,

as I seek some
past time
of pleasant
daydreams.
Graff1980 Sep 2017
What weary traveler wanders slowly down a worn and dusty road. Knowing that it has been year since anyone last traversed these dangerous trail. Still he dares to bare the burden of clearing this once wondrous street of debris, so that those who wish to walk this road once more can do so unafflicted by dark memories of the struggle once undertaken on this path before.

2010
Graff1980 Nov 2016
I used to long for
metal doors
that melted
forming
pool like portals
to other worlds.

Places where monsters
roamed distorted landscapes,
where skies rained
drops of purple
forming portal puddles
that would take me
to places even farther
from my messed up family.

I dreamed of
adventures tempered by pain
cause I felt there must be
a balance to pay in my fantasies.

Scars for freedom,
bruises equaling
the level of love I deserved,
the level that would earn my
warrior princess’s affection.

Through proof of
unfair punishment
while wielding healing hands
I would help
other victims like myself.
Earning a redemption
that was never necessary.

How strange that even in
my fairytale dreams
I treated myself as unfairly
as the daytime beast
that left red marks on me.

But now that I have found peace
I no longer dream of
a troubled love like that.
I no longer feel I need to earn back
that dignity and tranquility
that was so brutally
stolen from this mother’s son.
Graff1980 Nov 2023
Nature fashioned
a thorny crown
to cut my scalp
and bleed me dry,
leaving me to decide
if I should cry
or try to write
my suicide note.

There was no lover to
pull me from the sea,
or make anything
mean anything.
So, I was just floating,
tears and snot soaking
this body choking
on bitter salt truths.

There was no fire
to keep me warm.
So my digits,
and heart went frigid,
and that rhythm
that was given
to the living,
I no longer missed it.

The sun disappeared
and when the clouds cleared
even the moon had skipped town.
The tides came and went
pushing me out,
and pulling me back in again,
but I was already too dead
to drown.

The husk they found
was a terrible art display
of a soul fried and flayed
till it up and flew away
to smoke itself and disintegrate.
Graff1980 Jan 2017
I made a list
To organize
The things I needed to do
And the things I want to
Finding much to put to task
Like phone calls
And all the questions I had to ask
I put them down one at a time
And lost the list
While making up this silly rhyme
Graff1980 Sep 2016
Her smile is not for me.
though beautifully displayed,
finding feathered heart
floating away.
These sweet small
contortions
are not for me
but being so beautiful.
I am glad I was there to see
her smiling at someone
even if it is not me.

--------------------------
I am jealous
Of how beauty looks
At another
How success
Finds another
How fairness
Is only a fairytale
Most of all
I am jealous
That my past self
Was more at peace then me
Graff1980 Dec 2017
She told me what he did.
How he slid
his fingers
inside of
her,
how he pushed
and grinded her,
despite the pleas,
how he stopped her
when she tried to flee.

After the confession
I felt the fog of fury
consume me.

I set loose
my rage
and scarred his face
with scores
of scratches
and deeper cuts.

I slid my blade
inside his gut
and saw bits
and chunks
of vital organs
dribble
from
the gaping wound.

What fun to see
this dark adult
gasp and bleed
flapping like
a fish
grasping
for the ocean’s embrace.

With serial killer efficiency
I cleaned the crimson stained cutlery
and left him there to stare blankly
at the concrete.
Then I burnt my cloths
and wrote this note
for you to find
when I die.
Graff1980 Aug 2016
Was I
Mister melt my face
Crayola man
Dripping wax
Wherever I can
Head caved in
Rivers of colors
That skimmed
The inside hem
Of my skull
Mind hijacked
By the abstract
Not facts but that
Which painted the world
All shades from black
To light and prism split
Rainbow dreams
That turned to ****
Tears that cooled
This freaking mess
While I dyed my flesh
Pink, red, and bluish bruised
In such deep distress
Graff1980 Jul 2017
Sometimes I forget the heart of me; that little boy who dreamed of love and fairness. Sometimes the road darken, the heart is broken, but eventually I come back to the core of me. I am a child of light and love. So come dance the dance of humanity with me, grow and live to see the beauty in truth and our potential. We can be better.
Graff1980 Apr 2018
These words perform
their sacred rites
and dance on tongues,
waking in working whispers,
passed on from one generation
to the next in line,
they shift in context
change in definition,
grow their influence,
and fall into exposition,
then fade into footnotes,
and finally become
part of a dead language.
Graff1980 May 2018
I am coming,
the quick trickster
slick heart enchanter
dark dancer.

I’m coming,
heart burning
as ashes paint
these concrete streets,
as people multiply
and walked with me.

Sidewalks peppered
with plastic flesh
that is packed with
everything that leaks
and seeks
its own death;

A house of rubble,
a home of dust,
but I am
a traveling man
in tattered garbs
trying to connect you
to those who are
just distorted reflections
wearing similar scars.
Graff1980 Jan 2017
I have never loved a truth
only partial lily lips
blushed with life,
a life that was projected
from previous experiences
tid bits of passing familiarities
extrapolated, fragmented,
then placed into an impossible puzzle.

That is the tragedy.
Though I love humanity
I have never loved the truth of her
only the illusion that she can never be
plastered in poetry
dedicated to me.
The lie fits perfectly into my dreams
so I sleep with
the hopeful heart of humanity
because that is the only love
that is true to me.
Graff1980 May 2017
Language is the way i love humanity with an outsiders affection. Listening to the language of their stories, as they slowly reveal the essence of who they are, tentatively exposing just enough to intrigue but not scare strangers away.
Graff1980 Feb 2017
I do not pledge allegiance to a flag
But dedicate myself to eradicating hate
I sing love, love, love, love
Knowing these words will never be enough
To raise the dead but if I can raise a head
That has been hung so low
Take one heart that does not know
That it does not beat alone
But taps in chorus with the rest of us
I pledge to write to the heart of us
Till we are synced in purpose
I will not give you some sappy slogan
Or worship a cloth symbol
Which is not even half as red
As those strangers who bled
To pretend they defend righteousness
Imagining liberty can only be defined by this
False crucifix sacrifice, I drink to life
Pledge that you will not die un-mourned
That words will not set sail unmoored
No matter if your gay or straight
Mexican, American, or poor
Brown or pink skinned
I will not give in to the only sin
That I recognize,
As **** crow thrice I will not deny
I will rise
And pledge allegiance to love
Graff1980 Apr 2017
There is a clap.
Faces face
your candy cage
gilded in gummy
sugary glues
made to amuse
your sickly
sweet tooth.

It’s like you use
an apple for a gavel
doling out justice
in judgement
of those who
are starving;

Like you’re ignoring
the reality
but you’re  
hungry to.

We have the tools
but you’re more interested in
revenge for imagined
slights.

So you fight
against your own interest.

Instead of a
grand buffet
you put rocks
and mud on you plate.

Until the day
you fade away
a little slower then
the women and men
you were judging
but almost in
the exact same
anorexic shape.
Graff1980 Dec 2016
The pains of now are provocatively painful and push us powerfully to places we would prefer not to go. However, the pains of memory hopefully lessen with the distance of time.
Graff1980 Jan 2018
The dissonance should
splinter your sparkling
billboard reality
as tv images
hyper energize
our innate *** drive
and media moralist
shame said desires.

While your leaders
proclaim a specific faith
but then in turn
spite and debase,
with malice and false claims
anyone who doesn’t
pray each day
the way that they
don’t even pray.

When the main protagonist
in your religious texts
was pretty obviously
anti-capitalist
but your current church leaders
make a killing
selling their parishioners
false promises
of making them
multi-millionaires.

When you
were set up to be
the steward of your society
yet squander
each opportunity
to be more Christ like
cause you have developed
a strong immunity
to reason and logic
which costs us
our humanity.
Graff1980 Apr 2016
Im not angry only disheartened. I offered you a universe of wonder and you chose a dull road of uninformed and camouflaged conformity.
Graff1980 Apr 2018
I expel
thin wisps
of cold wind,
smoking breath
that looks like
cigarette vapors.

**** its cold.

I nearly slip
on the black ice
in the parking lot
late at night
cause I can’t
make it out.

**** its cold.

Fingers frosted
till they start to
turn from flesh tones
to a red pinkish hue,
then almost to
a light blue.

**** its cold.

Ears hurt,
and so, does
my chest
when I cough.
I try to sleep it off,
but the sidewalk
is bitterly unforgiving.

**** its cold.

No one ever
looks me in the eyes.
They just walk on by;
Too busy pretending
not to see
my pain
and humanity.
They don’t
drops single thought
or dollar for me.
  
**** its cold.

No one notices
the frozen form
of frostbit terror
and tragedy,
as empty eyes
stare out at
a world
that is colder
than the arctic circle.
Graff1980 Jun 2018
Such a fruitless endeavor,
as this dullness devours
my endless hours.

I sit seeking stale stimulus.
Being used to immediate
gratification,
of the menial mental
*******
type,
I am stumped
by my listless response to
having everything to do
but not wanting to do
anything.

No movies but one
yet to come
stir my passions.

No tv shows
that I stream
or download
get me excited.

No outside adventure
unencumbered
by the once weary winter weather
inspires me
to get up and go.

No books
even garner
random looks.

I am merely
burnt out,
but just for now.
Graff1980 May 2016
You tore our planet to pieces
Ripped up the land with your strife
Civil wars, and genocides
Snuffed out all that potential life
Creating a void that no light can pierce

With your war and consumerism
You closed but increased the distance
Between rational human beings
Stirring the masses on to
Mass extinction
Despite my pleading, crying, and screaming
Leaving me voiceless in obscurity
In the name of fake security
And false promises of prosperity

Oh, my dear humanity
If I could have died for this lost cause
I would have
But you have
Even managed to deny me that sweet mercy
Graff1980 Jul 2016
Death is not fair.
It does not care
or breath.
It does not take
what bleeds
leaving seeds
to spring into
a lighter view
of the heavenly
some days.
It discriminates
against the poor
taking them more
other day it plays
with the wealthy.
It does not balance
or think
grow or shrink.
It is not a tangible being
or a solid thing.
It will not make a deal
no matter how deep you feel.
It is not your enemy or friend.
It is simply the end.
Graff1980 Jul 2016
Listen to America? by graff1980 #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/graff1980/america
Graff1980 Jul 2017
Unafraid,
she makes
red braids
wrapping
death
around her
soft wrist.

Her pliable
flesh
screams
fresh
mercies.

Inside
the porcelain
prism
pain
is no longer
her prison.
Life
is no longer
her poison.

Once crushed
life’s fluid
is now
a stagnant wine
that drips down
her limber vine.

For all that abused
drank her dry
felt her up and used
all the tears in her life
she is now
an empty wineskin
with no more life
to hold in.

Death was hers
and she told him
where and when
they would be
meeting.
It was
the only game
she was capable
of winning.

No note,
no warning call,
no shot off the port
From a cannonball;
She just dove
headfirst into
the dark black that
will eventually
claim you to.
Graff1980 Apr 2017
You don’t always have to
wear a red cape
to swoop in and save your
super friends.

Sometimes you can
share the burden.
Sometimes you can
let me in.

Then I will be wearing
my own green cape
cause green is great
and it’s my favorite color.
Graff1980 Aug 2017
The ego is obsessed with expansion,
moving far beyond equilibrium
absorbing all that is given him;
Like the people who are given in
to unreasonable expectation,
the ego is demanding recognition
not asking for any permission,
but stomping on the feet of strangers,
and climbing over stumbling mothers
just to get the **** that it wants.
Graff1980 Aug 2017
Everyone has a light to share. It may burn dim or shine so bright it blinds the masses. There is a story in each of you, a lesson I can learn. In some cases I have been blessed to share some of your wonderful insights while someone of you remain a beautiful mystery. Just remember at the end of the day you are unique, your wonderful, and you are appreciated because you bring happiness to those who know and love you.
Graff1980 Mar 2015
When knuckles crack
And spine snaps
Front to back
The lack
Of sleep
Ages me
And I sit wearily
Wary and waiting
For the next cup of coffee
To rouse me
Cheap breakfast sandwich
As breaks squeal and sound this
Wednesday morning stress
Fifteen minutes away
From starting the day
Then it is ten to twelve
Hours before the self
Is allowed to emerge
They purge me
Of anything that makes me me
Fifteen minutes back
To the big mac
And another ten or twenty
Depending on how the traffic rolls
Fast or slow
You know
All I want to do is hit the sheets
**** my ***** swollen feet
Just let me sleep
Graff1980 Jul 2015
We live in parting paths
Not knowing which way
We are going
Diverging roads
Separate us slowly
Gets kind of lonely
Till we come back
You to the old me
And me to the old you
But only in memories
Because we are as faded, wrinkly,
And distorted as we will always be
Graff1980 Apr 2018
Soft swirling
streams
of liquid violet,
moved around her body
like silk scarves.

Green gloves
touched
with the love
of living fruit,

rays of radiances
gave way
to smiles
birthed
from
****** canals.

Opposite
this virginal dancer
another lover sat,
female form
of cold blankness,
deathly pallor
of numb affection.

For one I wake
in grand *******,
but for the other
I stay alert,
putting her off
for as long
as opportunity
and will allow.
Graff1980 Apr 2017
You meet in committees
with shareholders from
war contractors
watching them proclaim,
“We need more money
and less oversight.
We need to expand our
external influence.”

Their words spread
like the bubonic plague.
Such a phage,
yet they still say,
“We have to delay
China
and Russia
from doing the same.”

So we put up
the TTP,
while the drones
we made
invade
other countries.

You say, “we are
the only people
who can save
the whole world
and it will take
business interest
to truly preserve
our military power.”

You say……

I have to turn you off.
I have to turn away,
because my tears fall.
They are tears of rage.
You never hear me
no matter what I say.
So, ******* America
you are not great,
stop putting your greed,
inhumanity, and stupidity
in display in a parade
of such extremely
violent charades.
Graff1980 Mar 2016
I should be so blessed
That if the best
Thing that happens
To me
Is that when I die
I am remembered
For a short while
While my words
Impact humanity
deeply
Graff1980 Mar 2016
Time broke the heart of Van Gogh
Wrenched the soul of Edgar Allen Poe
As the ages spoke with words and paints
The romantics yielded up all of their pain
And put it on display in canvasses and pages
Graff1980 May 2017
I'm starting to think that in a world were people can be convinced to do things that are not in their interest the guy trying to look out for them is going to suffer more then they are.
Graff1980 Oct 2021
Dr. Cornell West.
is not a retreater,
but a bright spirit freer,
a spectacular speaker.
His vernacular is sweeter
than any lazy deceiver.
Graff1980 Jul 2016
As a child I asked my mother
to mend my lonely heart
to accept and understand me
as I am and not as who she hoped I’d be.

Please do not turn your pain on me
inflicting wounds so deep
that I refuse to ever trust myself.

Eyes aflamed with tears.
Sinuses clogged with snot.
Without comprehending
without words I asked for her patience
her kindness, to secure my innocence.
I asked for safety at home.

Had I known the violence she would sow
planting row after row
of red marks and broken hearts
I would have found a gun
and a safe little corner.
I would have asked no one
and taken the peace I deserved.
Graff1980 Jun 2017
It is hard to
give a ****.
cause I get stuck
in the muck
with a desire
to inspire
much higher
thoughts
and ambitions,

but I am a mutt,
******* child
of the light
and wild
side.

I cannot hide
my teary eyes,
and my disgust
almost busts
right out of
my oversize gut.

Humanity
hurts too much,
but I am so
******* stuck.
Graff1980 Jul 2016
She left work early
to catch a train
high heels
spiking puddles of rain.

She will not be back again;

Turned the corner
almost tripped
barely missed
getting hit
by a yellow cab.

All aboard and off
at her final stop
two lefts
and straight three blocks,

Up the stairs
with no one there
in the bathroom
waits fate unfair.

Blood shot eyes
and thinning hair,
She hid it well,
or maybe no one cared.

She counts the pills,
and puts them back
Pulls out the razor,
and puts it back
resisting the urge
to finally do that.

In the mirror,
she stares defiant
standing self reliant
ready to live.

A dish of soap,
still bubbly soaked,
slips off the counter
tripping her silent
leaving a cold corpse
where they found her.
Graff1980 Aug 2018
The tv is blaring
with the
big bad wolf scaring
three little pigs,
who manage to
get the jump
on him,
making me grin
when they win.

I see
other cartoon figures
get hit with
a TNT blast
if that was me
I wouldn’t come back.

All the ducks in a row
like Donald and Scrooge,
even got a black duck
who is a daffy dude.

All the laughter
is great,
this passionate pleasure
made frame by frame
eases my pain,
and remind me
how funny
****** up
**** can be.
Graff1980 Aug 2016
Satanic goddess oh queen Isis
Aphrodite, my fingers fill her crevices
Twirl and twisting
Leaving us both gasping
I bend to her will
Beg to fulfill
Her deepest desires
So when she sighs
“Hurt me.”
I break myself
Splitting my soul asunder
Becoming thunder
As I crack
Graff1980 May 2016
The leaves have fallen.
Once brave soldiers
vital and firm
now old paratroopers
wrinkled with
the expectation of
winters rough war.
One by one
these daughters
And sons
fall to the Earth
to die.
The tree stands naked,
until winter’s war is over
and green life is restored
Graff1980 Aug 2016
Dark is the heart of the cosmos that beckon us. Racing waves of solar energy. The ocean ripples with moon's reflections. I wish to drown in the yellow orange hydrogen furnace. I wish to drown in the shiny brine that reflect the same shade as my hazel eyes. I wish to drown in love, in awe of all the wonder this reality has to offer. Let it swallow my poetic soul, leaving only a lite littering of poetry in my wake, and I will die a contented fool.
Graff1980 Mar 2017
Cold metal presses against the thin mattress.
There is no pea but he can still feel the springs
It is hard, sharp, jarring, and deeply cutting
He is no princesses and this is no fairytale.

The beast is indifferent, made of concrete.
Barbwire fences mark the difference from
Freedom’s street and the state penitentiary
and he cannot leave this abusive relationship.

They let him go and life was like a candy-coated cabin.
He got himself a job, but kept a lot of bad habits
hopping fences, then breaking into cars,
dating a troubled teenager, and an angry older women.

Head down body laid to rest he did his best
to fall into the deepest sleep in the porcelain tub,
drunkenly stupid, but somebody pulled him out.
He tried to burn himself the same **** night.

An angry apple red thread with a poisonous pointed head
awaits his next big break in mistake
but the price he paid, the things that changed
all came because he smoked some little thing.

It doesn’t take much, in fact any little thing
could take a halfway decent human being
and turn him into to a ward of the State
can take a loving human being and make him hate.

Not all stories end happily ever after.
Not all prisons are left even after
the prisoner is freed, his body may be released.
but the man still flinches,
hardened and tenderized by what he has seen
and what he had to do to make it through
that dark fairytale hell.
Graff1980 Dec 2016
We walk right down to the minute,
right up to the second.
We fall down in an instant
when the heartbeat is missing.
Black smoke become shapes
of whatever painful memory takes
our final beat and breath away.
Graff1980 Oct 2020
Another sun down,

another broken sparkle
fading in the distance
turning into an empty instance,

another black hole nightmare
swallowing every stray ray
dimming then destroying
every beautifully bright day,
leaving us lost in the dark.

While parishioner celebrate
history’s ending this way,
on this tragic date
cause they think
destruction makes us great
and will take us to
a final holy space,

they sing hallelujah,

but I am not happy to say
goodbye to today
and all of my yesterdays.
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