Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  May 2018 Grace Spellman
Q
Sorry Mommy, I'm not the better daughter
I'm sorry, Daddy, I wasn't what you wanted
I'm sorry I'm not good enough yet
I'm sorry I for everything I never said
I'm sorry I'm a overweight, I'll fix it I swear
I'm sorry I'm cutting, but I need it to keep me sane
I'm sorry I smoke, but it's my replacement for air
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm crying
I'm sorry
There's no point to this
I've already ruined everything
I'm so, so, so sorry
Sorry.
Sorry.
I know it doesn't help.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I can't make up for what I've done.
But I am sorry.
I'm sorry I was born
I know you didn't expect me
I'm sorry I wasn't born a boy
I'm sorry I acted to much like you
I'm sorry I made you hate me
I'm sorry I'm annoying
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
Whatever you don't like about me
I'm sorry it's there
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I cry so much
I'm sorry I'm not pretty
I'm sorry I left
I'm sorry
Sorry.


I'm so sorry
I don't know what else to apologize for
I'm sorry you have to spend money on me
I'm sorry I don't know what to be sorry for
I'm sorry I said I hated you
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm not useful yet
I'm sorry I don't make all A's
I'm sorry I don't get math
I'm sorry I don't like science
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry you don't love me.
I'm sorry I want you to.
I'm sorry
I'm so very sorry
I'm sorry I don't call you Mommy anymore
I'm sorry I don't call you Daddy anymore
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you have to be my parents
I'm sorry I'm not good enough
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I know it's not enough

Sorry.
  Apr 2018 Grace Spellman
Sprkinthedrk
sometimes i want to be gone
forever
the way i say that implies that i want to suddenly disappear
but no
i mean i want to be gone from everything
i don’t want to suddenly stop being such a nuisance to everyone around me
i simply wish i never had been in the first place
the real forever, not just in the future
Grace Spellman Apr 2018
i believe i get left wherever i go
little bits and pieces of me
are scattered all over the world
a segment of my heart in the ocean
became one with the water and with the sand
so now whenever the big blue body engulfs me
i feel found again
some pieces of me floated away in the breeze
of my favorite forest
so now when i am barefoot in the dirt
sprawled on the grass
i feel connected to myself again
nature is a place you can always go
its okay if your soul whispers into the gravel
because you can always retrace your steps
and be found there again
but what about places you cannot return to?
places that are not places
but people
lost lovers, lost trust
how am i supposed to find myself again
when you've buried my most crucial piece
within yourself?
could you give it back, please?
  Apr 2018 Grace Spellman
John Doe
You
Loving you

Was the most

Beautiful

way to die
Grace Spellman Feb 2018
go
something just feels
off
and wrong
something isn't sitting right inside me
it's telling me to get up - go go go go go
go do that one thing
but im not sure where it wants me to go
or what one thing it wants me to do.
it's a feeling of urgency
without a proper cause
what is wrong with me?
anxiety
Grace Spellman Feb 2018
There is a - hollowness - inside of me
A gap I can’t seem to fully locate
A hole - a cave -  somewhere inside of my chest
It sinks - it fills up
With an emotion I do not think exists
It feels like tidal waves, I feel it shaking inside of me
The first time I felt this hole
Was when the boy with messy brown hair and a heart even bigger than his smile
Lost the battle between him and his demons
And they swallowed him whole
The second time I felt this gap
Was when the kid with a loud laugh and cheesy dimples
Lost control of his mind
And now he floats in the sky
The third - and last - time I felt this hole
Was when I heard the screams - of children
Who knew they were about to die
Their shrieks and sobs
Radiated miles and miles from their tiny district
Into my heart, into my lungs, and made their way into the hole in my chest.
And now I’m just curious
What horrible thing is going to happen
That will make this feeling
Happen yet again?
we need more love.
Next page