Sometimes...
Late at night,
In the pitch - black
Silence
I can see you
Crystal clear.
Your mild smile,
Your tender gaze,
Your dissipating silhouette
On the blurred canvas
Of my deepest fear
The horrid suffering
In pitch - black
Silence
I can see you
But only for a moment
Sometimes...
Late at night.

Vapours of scents,
Lunar crescents
Of words in amber -
Photons arise  
In monochromatic
Moments of time.

Static sounds
Of nebulous breathing,
Neurotic crowds
Of memories weeping
Between scratched walls,
And monochromatic
Moments of time.

Tonight
I can feel the scent
of the past agonies
and their bitter taste
to the tenebrous end
in pentagons
of light.

Tonight
Death feeds on the scent
of every poor on my skin
and their sweet taste,
sinking me within
crucifixes
of white.

My steps have led me
To a far unknown place
Where the Beast is hiding,
Where the Dark is shining
Across the other side
Of the moor.

Magpies have sung me
About a far unknown place
Where my Heart is hiding
Into a deep dark well
On the other side
Of the moor.

My memories have left me
Into a black unknown place
Where a patient Solitude awaits,
Unnatural Silence circulates
A deep dark well
On the blackest side
Of the moor.

*The Beast is laughing...

I think of you
In the late hours of the night…
It’s where I find
Your eyes shooting across the sky -
Your shadow matching mine
And Silence
becomes Absolute.

I search for you
In the eternal waves of time…
It’s where I see
Your black and white seconds
The black moments -
And White
Becomes Ink.

I long for you
In the early hours of dawn…
When the lights are low,
When memories grow
When everything I know
It’s colour blind and cold –
And you become
Another you.

When I blink
I tender the grey clouds
The soft movements,
Gentle the fierce wounds -
Grinding memories
With my bare hands,
Too dense and bleak.

When I walk by
The lights go low,
The leaves turn yellow,
They fly and sink
Swirl and speak
Silent sounds
Of primordial cycles -
Too dense, too bleak.

When I breathe...
Shivers of cold lives,
The echoes of distant deaths,
The murmurs of deepest depths,
Surpressed in lullabies -
A sonet of primordial cycles,
Too dense, too weak.

With a single gesture
I can make the Earth stay still.
Time is a ***** villain
And I like to hear It scream
Seconds, moments, lifetimes -
Under the pressure
Of my fingertips -
Primordial senses
Too dense, too bleak, too weak.

When our eyes met
The skies united -
Your black pupils,
Of dark clouds scent,
Have been rained on
By tears
Mechanically aligned -
All these years.

When our palms matched
Distant lands collided -
Prolific earthquakes
Of feelings anew
And valleys of senses
Descended from you.

The highest mountains
Are poor and shattered -
Meaningless, little stones
At our feet...
The days go darker
As the two antithetic poles
Magnetically align -
A sole heartbeat.

There are rows of black birds
flying above us,
my love...
Away to foreign warm places
leaving no memories or traces -
There are rows of black birds above.

There is a strong, cold wind
howling and rowing ahead us,
my love...
The echo of a new harsh winter
like an unseen bitter creature
filling the gaps between us -
There is a strong cold wind ahead.

Am I entitled call you 'my love'?
This autumn feels too cold,
too empty to bare
this bare emptiness -
These gaps between us
like black doves
too bold and unreal to hold.

There are rows of black birds above.
They shall never see each other's faces
as they fly to foreign warm places,
While Autumn and Winter align,
without any traces
of you

It's dawn again -
The new born sun is foul.

Little golden rays strike my soul,
The copper warmth soaks
My inner blackness
And earthy veins come to life
In a body of a lifeless.

The cold mist has vanished away
Like a ghost wandering around
Alone, cold and grey...
I could taste its icy bound -
Bitter shivers on my skin,
Smoked melancholy fragrance
All around the sleeping hills.

Life was getting back
What was originally "Her's".
A naive restless wind
Swirled my hair
Into brown little rivers...
It's not a dream
Yet this reality feels surreal.

There's no point in finding meanings
In my fears, my dreams, my feelings.
Time has gone away too fast, it seems -
And I have stood still, near its footprints.

I shall close my eyes
before this magic breaks
the new born foul hopes...

Forgive me...
I didn't had the strength to write you a letter
Nor the spirit to tell you Goodbye -
I know it would have been better,
But didn't wanted you to see me cry.

You see...
This heart of mine has become bitter,
My senses paralyzed in fear,
They are corpses awakened in harsh winter,
Abandoned entities, but still here.

I'm like a shadow made of steel,
"Harsh and cold"
You ought to say and you mean it -
"Withered mind and heavy soul"
One may add -
The guilt has buried me inside.
I am condemned to stay alive
In a world where I have died.

"How pitiful!" I hear you shout.
"How easily you're giving up!"
These are words of perfect logic,
Yet you cease to understand
We belong to different worlds,
My flesh may be the same as yours -

But can you see
The burdens of being 'me'
The fire I must walk through
The darkness I must go through
The pain of my bare truth
Decomposing my little hopes...

Life is for the living
And yes, I have died -
I never belonged to the light.
These are my last thoughts
My last words addressed to you
Soon I will be a page in your past,
A bitter memory perhaps,
A lost image,
Alas.

Slowly dancing
Upon the ceiling
My hopes swam into grave deception,
Erasing their colours
and embracing the lust of redemption.

With my head on the ground
and burying my feet in the sky,
I leave my conscience shatter all around,
While my sins lie in a silence so profound...
Forever, in dust they lie.

Thoughts fade my body in that lost corner,
Unto grace the prays grimy shout over
The infected ceiling, where helpless desires once became dew.
Voices write about how those opaque aspirations flew
To the coal ending called sky,
Beside a summer of memories, broke lively into a lie.

Black birds with no shape
Levitate, levitate...
On the astral hue
Where a chromate rounded eye
Cram, vanquish and deny
Icarus wings forgotten truth.

Truth confesses...
Clouds have this delussional construction.
They look heavy, but dive easily in the highest skies.
They seem consistent, but you'll find emptiness in their insides.
They shine with passion, when Sun comfort their dark sides,
but their core scream shallow vowels, when the rays candlelight dies.

They are made of marvelous shell and promises.
Now their true face ran out of disguises,
Now their lies taste like a cruel truth,
Destroying wordless ponds of my silent youth.

They are made of failed hopes,
Long invoked by a half living corpse.
They quickly vanished away, ashamed of their fail
Scattering a nest, while thoughts crave for their trail.

Once lucid and life giving,
ensuring a world painted in more than one colour.
There they stand...in that soft looking terror,
While, on a flooded carpet, a life was painfully sinking.

Where should my mind find peace?
Or..When?
When will my life start over? When?
It's too late, the rain has started now...
One hope, after another..I could feel them- they're fierce.
They've been abandoned, somehow...
They will rise again, falling on the dust's grease.

2010.

I heard a heart beat
When I crossed the street,
And  I saw a face,
Who longed for an embrace.

A strange entity
Unknown identity
Traveller of infinity
Some sorth of divinity,
Spoke to me the unspoken.

A silent word
Sharp as a sword,
Threw his heart on a sward
Of human sins stored
Like prayers to the Lord -
Words of the silent.

And so his skin
Brilliant, pure, porcelain
Will fade between
The heartaches all around,
Not one tender look is found
Beneath feelings without a sound.


A whisper on his ear,
Surrounded by the fear,
A heavy cold atmosphere
Like a deep pierced spear
Hurting words of someone dear.

He stops and stares breathlessly,
Cries and shouts painfully:
*“The world has changed so dreadfully!
The hearts can no longer bend
Shards and pieces fall endlessly
All there's left in this tranquility
Is the Hopeless, the Unspoken, the Condemned …”

I want to fly
Up to the sky,
The wind is my armour
The moon is my guide,
I want to feel in my soul,
A bit of control
For the power you behold,
Weakens the life in me.

Your breath on my neck,
Makes my lungs neglect,
The tenderness of the air,
My hands wandering in your hair,
It’s where they belong,
It’s where I belong
Between right and wrong,
Above the earth and just below the sky.

You don’t know if you love me,
Or if you hate me.
Take away my breath again and again,
Make me wonder if I can gain
myself…
Through so much pain.

This pain... a shadow of the night,
Persecuter of my inner light,
How I long to feel your skin
When it's dark, when it's dim,
A journey I'd have to take
From ashes I will break,
The ice cold glass of unsaid words
Tear brick by brick of these tall walls
And I will see you and you’ll be real,
I forgot to breathe, forgot to feel...

Today the air is enlightened -
Rich in velvet echoes,
Urging me to embrace the outside.
Where colours play loud
And I was plain white.

... the sun looked frightened.

I breathed the life around
Felt the happiness, but not mine -
A dense silence folowed me behind,
I heard voices - "It's time to hide"
One gaze and they became white.


I looked ahead and hills have awakened.
Timeless monsters shove the sun away,
The life around was dreadfully shaken
My skin is evaporating - my feet sway;

I looked down and my legs were white smoke -
My hair is dancing all over the sky,
Breathing isn't necessary here - invoke
The soul I once had and make it stay

Between imaterial ashes and words said
Decades ago, in a basement of white roses -
Metalic touches, the unworthy innocent  
Will lie in dreams of the chosen
Drowning in my opaque eyes.

Nothingness looks surreal and bright
From here -
Slowly I will fade to white
*"And all the sudden, I can feel..."

I remember the  rainy summer days -
my feet caressing the clean stones,
each and every of the simple ways
of walking on the copper tones
of our sunsets.

The air was sweet and mild
and I was running freely, careless
my hair was flying wild
and I was wearing my mother's dress
Fluid soft silk - and orange tinted
with Japanese roses printed.


I kept on falling
for it was too long,
My skin was drowning
in the salty drops,
and life was growing
bold and strong
breathing.

The road had little lakes,
I can see it clearly now -
my present gently breaks
in front of their muddy scent -
I feel these clothes too heavy,
These sunsets incandescent...

How I long to feel again
That innocence so dearly;  
To get off this villain train,
and run away from this mess

Wandering freely,  
Wearing my mother's dress.

The dawn has this texture
Of long endured pains
With perfume of silent dusks.

For how long will the wind venture
Between long forgotten remains,
With scent of violent dusks?

The rain has this arenaceous texture
When there aren't any eyes to cry,
The silence is a mild creature,
A friend if needed, but still a lie...

And the shadow blinded my senses.
My feelings on Procust's bed
My mind destroying fences
Of the uncouncious, of the dead.

The pain within me tear apart
The innocence and my heart
Into millions of serpents
Devouring each other,
Creating Chaos -

And many other
Molecules of poison
Are released in the air,
Despite my crying and dispair...

Have you tasted?
My weakness have this texture
Of salty vapors in the sky,
Or a peace of the black eye.

...and a perfume of a departed soul -
Somewhere, far from human senses.

I often find my spirit
In the silence of the trees
Drawn on a canvas of late October.
My walks have led me
To a strange, cold scenery -
I close my eyes, tender the breeze
Of falling, mourning leaves.

And I'm falling too, gently -
Caressed by the air once more,
The led sky will gore
My skin into rusty pieces,
My sight in creases,
Before I breathe out,
Gently.

I've also found my heart.
Dry, thin...thin and weak,
Lieing on the ground -
Diving into the sound
Of crushed agonies
The silenced pains,
Under my feet -
And I crushed it...
Crush it again,
For I must keep walking
Through this morbid creek,
This feeling of horrid stalking.

I've lost my life in the silence
Of forgotten, closed eyelids.
The horror... I can't stand
The breathing of sulfur air
In nightmares, in prayers
Of a crooked soul on a leaf,
Falling, dieing, sinking in
This painting of quiet trees
I used to hold within.

Strange pieces
Gather from all around.
Put piece near piece,
Then something takes
Shape from the gritty ground.
Pour sadness
And nightly haunting thoughts in those remains,
Then sprinkle tragedy in those dim needled veins.

Suddenly, shadows came and took their same old place -
Eyes as lucent phantasms and gloomy lips are carving a face.
This messy view throws sounds, shaping a requiem;
You see...
This living corpse is me,
It's just who I am.

I've been laying there, for a while...
Wished to revive, but didn't knew how.
Whatever was called life, now it's called "denial".
Memories are flowing back and I remember now
... I fainted.

I know... I've failed.

Time has forgotten me on its way and I painted
Fears all over me, overwhelming me...
Tears don't listen anymore - they're playing dead,
They've lived forever in a sable
For my soul lies in the dust.
Hopes traded my breathing, for a second in redemption's gust
'Cause believing in pure forgiveness, I'm not able.

My life's blink has been crucified... and I'd cry -
But they haunted and trapped my wishes in gobbles.
So here i dive
In this place my "strange pieces" used to lie.
My sight is empty and thoughts are dry -
Dreams I cherished rised into cloudy bubbles
So anxious to fly...

Far away
There's a place…
Where I banished my hopes.
Need a getaway
To unleash my thoughts.
'Cause right now I'm lost
Without a trace -
All I see is empty streets
Not even a known face.

When will you come for me?
Because I'm all alone
Counting my steps
Forgetting where's home.
Shadows and deaf noises
Are surrounding my path
My skin froze
Thinking of you here...
Here with me, at last.

This cold feeling
Got stuck on my veins
A wish of healing
Isn't possible it seems.
I never knew a warm place to go
Confusing circles are spinning around
I hope I'll never hit the ground
Because *I miss you so…

Insanity lies there, in corners,
Along with spiders of my mind
Their web it's made of irises
Of my memories left behind.

Memories, dreams and feelings.
They all passed over my beliefs,
On a floor of spinning ceilings,
A sky of autumnal leaves,
Withered bits of a decrepit soul.

Time is fierce...
My skin is rusted, hard as stone
Maimed and parched to the bone -
I need a pill, just one more.

Dawns won't pierce
My thoughts falling high
In a sea of toxicity -
There's a pill which might
Bring me closer to the light,
Far from its velocity
And its painful shards
Dissipated in pitched, soften clouds.

There's always a pill
And another pill -
To strengthen up my will.
Though, I will never feel
My emotions crystal clear.
These fake illusions
Will never cheer
Heavy whispers in my ear.
Diseased blood transfusions
Of my dreams becoming real,
The world has stood still
While I tremble, poisoned with fear.

*So I'll take another pill
Because I fear...

Frightening silence
Painted on ragged walls
Wet air stuck in dry lungs
Muddy fingers on the floor,
The scent of pain in every bone,
Tired eyes washed in dusty rain
Drops of memories lost in vain.

I remember all so well...
Those feelings in every bit, every cell
The same hunger
Same emptiness and despair.
We were all hunters
For a piece of calming air,
On tops of mountains of fear;
Voices crawl, the sunrise is near...
"Go to sleep, sleep forever my dear".
Doors were locked, I couldn't hear
Truths of our misery, crystal clear
This was 1998, the damnned year.

And so it came back
Like a cruel memory
My hopes resting in a crematory,
Old wounds wide open -
A life ahead without any track
Of the right way to go,
Weak, restless, shallow
This caged air we've been breathing
Still standing, still believing
It is all a lie.

Imagine a world with plenty of air
Which doesn't care less
That your lungs strive with pain.

Imagine a world filled with sunrise
Which doesn't care less
That your eyes cry senseless.

Imagine this kind of water
Which doesn't bring mildness
To your dry, dusted lips.

Imagine the world I imagine...
Sights painted with unknown,
Words in brackets tortured and thrown,
Twisted sounds in mirrorr unfolded,
Lies in black bags, stories untold
Thoughts like salted sands, fears unhold.

There are many the things I see
In the "too many things I can't see".
I imagine too much, too many at a time -
Then reality falls in a deep distress.
Imagine a world with air, water and sunrise
Or create our own universe
Which doesn't care less.

Laments and shouts
Harsh words and strangled throuts
Slamed doors, hurting doubts...

This is how I will always remember you.

Green irises on blankets of red veins
Fighting, denying, throwing blames
I see you walking before my eyes
Smoking, cursing...then despise
The morbid silence in me,
All the truths I began to see.

Torned,I turn my look around
On these ***** dishes,
My real thoughts will never be found;
My foolish dreams, my childish wishes.

Please, don't wake up now
I'm almost at the door-
On fighting, I've withdrawn.
A thirst for tireness, always for more.

You used to have a spirit
Of glee and perseverance,
That's been long forgotten
In my childhood rememberence.

Life became life...
But you had to stir it!

Stir all its issues with a three-bladed knife
Abandon all the good we had
On departed kites,
Keep ur pride on exorbitant hights,
Which chained my life with no rights
Of change and reabilitation,
My eyes dried of solitude and depression
Since I was born.
You've become a white shadow
In a black mind whose thoughts
Lie in storms.

White skin
Molded in black light
Crystal tears
Faded in dark wine -
Innocent fears
Crypted in a muddy dawn,
White, white veils
Of the black, black soul.

Soothing tired rays...
The ashes of canescent shadows
In black blankets
Of white memories, thoughtless days
Melodies, phantasms of whispers -
Too late, too soon...dispair.

They all appear in strange ways,
Mixed feelings in a maze
Drowned in a deep silence -
Deaf screams in a corner.
Transparence...
A black mind, the disorder.

A life between agony and death,
A death betweem sunrise and health,
Vision between a mirror and a trigger
Freedom between bars and linger
Dreams between blindfolds and handcuffs
Thirst hiding beneath a sea of cups
Hunger lieing in corners with bread bits
Perfect love dieing where it fits.

Black and white,
Silence and screams
Numbness, too many feelings...
Eyes wide open, but locked inside.
I've lost the key
To a true reality
Beyond these mesmerizing dawns
They're not true, they're not false...
There's no sun, there's no moon
Too late, then too soon
Trying to fake and not to see
There's no sunrise in the whole of me.

Venomous trail
Of an idolised Holy Grail
Peaceful ways to ******
The shivers of a happiness,
The neverending loneliness,
Near a cold wall with deep holes
Filled with skies and dampness,
Printed signs of ailing mold
Signs of peace, signs of hurt.

Throw me away...
The black rage within,
Shower with white paint
The old, dusted spirit.
A saint
With no grace to pray
Erase with black ink
Twisted words sink and sink...
In ordinary blank pages  
Long forgotten in time's cages.

The mind needs
These black needs.
A strange place
Of silence and waste,
Dreams on needles
Angst in cradles...

Why do they all come to me?
Why do I have to see
These truths disguised as lies
These fairies turn into spies
Of my deep thoughts
Torture every little crock
Of my own self?

My mind is tired.
I cannot fly anymore.
Give me a reason to allure
The sparks of a fake moon -
Do you feel them too?
The whiskers of a new born sun
Caressing my hair in an air so dun,
I will sleep again, someday... soon.

Give me your air
So I can breathe again
Your feelings unveiled.

Give me your hand
So I can feel again
Your air of words unsaid.

Give me your silence
As a blindfolded pillow.
A new revolution's defence
Painted on blinking windows...

Fearless shadows
Caressing my sight
In rivers of fingerprints
As delicate crimes which might
Soothe my life on the wings
Of velvet whispers, late at night.

Leave me your truths
Hanged on tender musings...
Forbidden fruits
Our feelings will be
To the outside world,
To the ones accusing
Naturally bounded realms we see...
We breathe, we feel, we give.

Whispers of the wind
Were drawn on the sky
Of the bitter mind you left.

Words of the swing
Were drawn on the lie
Of the sinner and his theft.

Poems of the lost
Were encrypted on the smiles
Of the blackest mind,
The inconsolable, misguided ghost.

Lyrics of the raws
Were sung in an old, crumbled swing
Forgotten in a pencil's graphite,
The Creator of the whispery wind.

A whole story was scattered
Like sand's little grains.
Each word was shattered
Until whispers have lost their shadow
A rememberance of us in a fabled meadow,
A pencil on plain paper,
It's all that remains.

Do you remember me
The way I remember you?
Like a mild, wordless creek;
A neverending heartbeat
Caught forever in my awaked sleep.
Burried alive, too deep
In all my heart aches
Soaking my life so weak
In all the lakes
Where your heart's creeks flow.

Do you dream of me
Like I dream of you?
On every dawn's tender hue,
On every cloud that quickly flew
It often seemed it looked like you.
A pure embrace, a soothing touch -
Reason says I dream too much
And a cold silence takes your place...
I dream of you and your embrace.

Do you long to see me
Every morning next to you?
'Cause I do...
I remember you,
I dream of you,
I wish our worlds come true.

Sing me songs of farewell
This red shaded dawn,
Recite me lines about unknown -
Please, recite them well.

Let your tongue disguise the words,
Make them look fair
While I'm statued in life's ropes
Tied to this porcelain cold chair.

Speak loud, stand proud -
Then look at me straight.
Let your shadow strangle my neck,
Bathed in my acid tears around.

It's neither's fault, you say...
Only this mischievious cicle
A clueless timed canvas,
That lead you feel this way.

I can't scream, can't defend.
I only let the ending end.
Take your promises back,
Take your tender looks too,
Burn each of one's illusions,
******* their ashes, take them with you.

Don't leave me your apologies,
Your blured confusions...
Just leave me here,
In eternity's fusions
Drowned in a heart attack.

The years have passed away.
My hands still tremble, mildly.
Wrapped in pottery shards and blindly
This disease have rot me inside
It's what they say...

In fact, I died at the bottom of the sea.
The cure is simple and hopeless to me.
Give me a pill of amnesia
And my five o'clock tea.

I wander upon the pond of my sufferings.
I wander freely, misguided and wonder
Where these footsteps might lead.

Strange dots collide into infinite dots,
Then divide into answers shaped as knots.
They are paths I don't want to seek.

I dived too deep into this obscurity, too deep.
The weight of my inner world
Keeps crushing my feet.

They can't run any longer
For my heart beats too weak,
I don't intend to hide under,
Just need a place to sleep.

My soul craves for the silence of katharsis
And I can only dream of a deserted oasis,
When time was only a clear drop,
A time when I was me and you were you...

I should stop writing this, I should stop.
Can't deny my letters miss writng your name,
They miss you a lot.

Innocence was written on the warmth
Of our holding hands
And smiles embraced the air
Of our own molded lands.

I've lost myself
In this "fear-hate" game.
I've come to my end
In my mind's jungle,
There's no escape train.

Nightmares became too often real
In my awaken mornings rays,
Despite rainbows of sounds and joly colours,
Demented wounds and bruises never heal.

So here I am...
Thrown on this arsenic pond
My life ends here -
Death is born.

Don't blame me,
My beloved one.
You see
Miracles don't happen for me,
For the lost times I felt undone.

I shall find my sleep
In this lifeless area.
Between these scarlet whispers,
Between garments of memories
From the back of my cornea.

These are my last invalid words
To you...
I will be lost in my mistakes hue,
Forever lost, forever unwritten.

"Whatever happens
It just happens
For a reason"...so they say.
Who are they?
They are words alike those runes
Always belonged to an odyssey
Old, dusted and ruins
As time quickly flies by...
Uncertain truths and misguided lies needled its core,
While each vowel screams for more vanity...forever more...
These paper scrolls will be shortly forgotten in time,
No matter if the reason is fair -
These dogmatic words shout with dispair:
Whatever happens,
It just happens
For a reason...

A candy jar shines in the dance of a silver light
It sprinkled fearless, outside the window...for my own delight.
Oh, Night! You're a mystic fairy, the solace of my pain...
Why should I let you go, when daylight is in vain?
Should I let you pass by
Forever as a remembrance, like a childish lullaby?
You are meant to "just happen"...
Crushing my struggle and my being's denial,
Time has got me savage punishments in its dial,
Despite its flawless eternity.

Where did I go wrong?
I was born with tragic hopes in my blood,
Craving and sining for a drop of the eternal astral flood
Praying for my existance, nightly...
While dreams suddenly crush into the ashtray,
I am still here...wearing sable made of my thoughts, day by day...
I was born
And it just happened
For a reason...

When you'll feel the cold wings of the air
Caressing joyful dew drops on your hair
When your sight will get free
In a wild blink of rebellious glee...

In a time of unreal memories, you'll see
The places our surreal worlds have built
Mountains, lakes, trees
Shrouded by a sweet wind.

When your heart will see
Birds flying freely, endlessly...
Decomposed on the sunset's hue
Then you'll know and feel

My hands longing to reach you
and heal
The whispers of a pure truth:
"My blue torment of my youth...
In silence, memories and distance
I'll always be with you"

The way I feel...
Is it something that should remain unfold?
Or is it a shield separating me from the world -
Do you believe in miracles...that happen for real?
'Cause right now I need one...to change the way I feel.

How do I feel?
Is it true that my inner world is breaking piece by piece,
After all this struggle, after all of this?
Do you believe in tender feelings...feelings that heal?
'Cause right now I could use one...to change the way I feel.

Constellations of puzzle words,
Useless blowing candles hopes,
Plumb memories as shapeless bones -
Whispers in velvet silence become growls;
This endless nightmare has had me on a pursuit.
Soon it will become real
And it'll make these two worlds sway...
You're long gone away
With a promise to write soon -
But all I needed was you
To change the way I feel.

There are times when
I feel like a pawn.
The last pawn
On a board of chess.

Would you come for
This pawn?...It's hopeless.
Surrounded by knights
And looking meaningless.

Would you turn your back
On this pointless pawn?
Who has no turning back
Just moving ahead
And feeling almost dead?

I know you would.
'Cause you're afraid…
You're alike the last leaf
In an old tree,
Craving to fall
In someone's hand…
And so your memories
Would never be forgotten
In the end.

I know what you might say.
Too late denying your fate
All your life was painted in grey.
Crows are flying
In circles
Above your head
Singing
Funeral songs and believing
They saw your cross
On top of a hill.

I know…
You feel scared.
Your mind is stained
With the ****
Of that Pawn.

Gravity...
Has the guilt of my everything.
Forbiding the only chance to be free,
Chaining my thoughts to the ground.
Hysterical laughs on charcoal leaves flew around,
Disturbing serene sadness of my glee.
Awaken worlds in life's little things
Forsake my tender thoughts to the nothingness wings
Dissipating with velocity
In the hands of Gravity.

Gravity...
It's like an occult religion
With all its strange ways.
Devouring miscellanous levitating dreams
Spreading mercyless comtempt to the ones on the banned brims -
The ones who dared to fly on the Sun's sacred rays.
Gravity is the vermillion
Murderer of all the ancient hopes fallen in the
Slush of eternity.

I've been cursed forever
With the evanescent living...
I've been forbided to say "never";
But my words flew anxiously away...through the ceiling
Despite Gravity.

"Forgive me, Father…for I have sinned"
This is how all my thoughts begin
Their ritual of villain regrets and sorrows.
They come, they lie, they spin…
Misguiding words and blinding the hallows,
While tears pray for the everyday forgiveness,
The tyrants chain my finned tomorrows
Forever consumed in acid of my illness.

Forgive me, Father…
For I have baptized my thoughts in holy water.
Their slushy sins dived into a cruel slaughter,
Leaving me senseless…hopeless…

My tongue have lost its ability
To cut the truth from raw evilness.
In this shell of madness there's no tranquility
In vengeance, burning wounds don't find stability,
In anger, blurry paths lie in selfishness
And so I lie there senseless.

The way back home
Can't be guided by crippled lights,
Redemption has got me in too many fights
Between me and my reflection,
I breathe and I bleed with no defection
While violins cry over my lost pure smiles,
Their grave shrouded me into a foolish disguise.

My lungs shout for Jordan River.
'Cause I can't go on like this…
Lies, mistakes then hinder
Every time dreams are never what is real.

Hear me, Father…

Here I stand in this place my tears used to gather.
Give me a rain drop so my eyes can heal,
Give me myself again so my skin can feel -
My thoughts are unsafe and they will ****
My insides as a sacrifice meal -  
I can hear their evil whispers, late at night…
Don't leave me drowned into this tight well,
Where my pillow is creasing words of farewell.

Thoughts sing lullabies in a shallow swing
Words like *"Forgive me, Father…For I have sinned."