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you used to be hot ***
in a dark room
now you're just
cool mountain rain

and I can't decide
which is best
serve your heart
on a spoon

call it caring
for insane
(C) Maxwell 2014
We met a coffee shop.

Not a Starbucks or a Caribou or anything fancy like that, it was just a plain local coffee shop that served mediocre java and salted lunch meat on stale bread.

The menu was impressive enough to keep the place open, and after all, it's where I met the man who changed my life.

I pretended to be engulfed in a rather boring Sparks novel that I grabbed off the counter to pass the time when he sat down across from me.

His hair was black. His suit was black. His shoes were black. His skin was a smooth drinkable ivory that only accentuated his stunning green eyes. He was typing away furiously on his laptop, but amidst his deep trance, something broke his concentration.

****.

He caught me looking. Frazzled, I motion for the waitress that doesn't see me to come over and refill my already half full cup. Fill it with some of that mediocre coffee of course.

****.

She doesn't come, but he does. He says my deep brown eyes, caramel skin, and tight curls made him want to write poetry. Anyone worthy of that type of inspiration must be approached, is what he said.

I tell him my name. He goes by William. I never got his last name and I guess it didn't matter. By the time we downed our burnt brazilian roast, we were headed out the door in search for a more intimate setting as if where we were hadn't been quiet enough.

I don't now what made me bring him to my apartment, the eighth floor, sitting on the patio soaking in the sounds of the city below us while sweet white wine ravished our veins.

I knew what was coming.

He commented on my blouse, said how it made love to my breast in a way no man ever could. He said my hips were like curvaceous lilly valleys winding around the hills of Maine. He said my hair was sunkissed with natural bronzer that shined eloquently at the turn of each curl. And as his hand brushed my cheek, he spoke of my dimples and how they were perfectly placed upon my smile blessing anyone whom could successfully create one.

As I came out of my bra, he kissed my neck and kissed my chest and kissed and kissed and kissed until he found what he was looking for. He told me my skin was soft as satin and sweet as sugar right off the cane. When my jeans fell to the floor, he traced his lips along my ***** line, saying he had never desired so badly to taste wild honey.

When I was naked and vulnerable at the mercy of his will, he examined me like a feast as if he didn't know where to begin. He entered me so softly, I could hardly tell he was there. He told me I was beautiful. He told me I was perfect. He told me it was tight and wet and he didn't want to be anywhere else in this **** of a world but right here inside me.

I see stars. I see the sun. I see the highest mountain tops after a soothing rain. I see moonlight on a hot summer night and the beauty in the auburn colors on an October afternoon.

William not only rocked my world; he painted it. His hands carried such an elegance about them that my body ached for his touch even more so. With every moan that escaped my lips, he spoke poetry into my ear. Telling me to "look up and imagine Paris" and "close your eyes and build a dream". All of his mumbo jumbo made sense in a weird kind of way.

I always thought people only climaxed at the same time in movies because that's just something you can't schedule. It slowly sneaks up on you like a tiger in the wild, and just when you think you've lost him; BAM. That's when your ten seconds of ohmyfuckinggoshdontstoprightthere kicks in and you realize it was the best ten seconds of your day and of your life up to that very point.

As swiftly and beautifully as he came, he was gone. But before he left me feeling empty and full at the same time, my previous infatuation and excitability had made me succumb to his trance, and I hardly even remembered what (if anything) of which we spoke.

I say to him, "William, please tell me. Who are you? What is your last name?"
His answer baffles me, and doesn't make any **** sense; "You will find me as the candle in the wind, the condensation on a glass, and the fruitful taste of white zin on your tongue in the heat of the day."

And with that he left.
He left me standing there sticky and lonely and satisfied and mad all at once. I figured I may as well clean up my mess, clean up myself, and continue to rule the day.

I begin a motion to take the sheets off the bed and roll them up in a burrito of sin when I had stopped and realized I didn't want any latex melting in the dryer.  
I search for it. Like, really search for it.

Ok, it's not under the bed.

Where is it?

Not in the burrito that I just tore apart.
Not in the garbage.
Not in his hands when he left.
My eyes never left him.
Or did they?

****.

Valleys and flowers and sunshine and stupid *** Paris. STUPID. ***. PARIS.
All that madness and stupid weird *** just ****** me off. It caught me off guard. That wasn't me back there, careless Carrie. No. No.
That wasn't me.

**** it.
I need to shower.


[....to be continued...]
This is actually the beginning (intro) of a short story I'm writing that I felt was so poetic in the idea itself so I just wrote in poem form. I may actually continue to write it this way. All rights reserved please, and feedback would be lovely!

(C) Maxwell 2014
not a wolf in sheep's clothing
more like a tequila sunrise
on a hot summer's eve
not a demon with gnashing jaws
more like a soothing winter breeze
choosing to remain the same on the outside while creating a raging storm within me
even haunting me in my dreams
the danger was always there
in fact it remains to be true
while erasing the worst of pain
in pleasure long overdue
eating at my innards
is the plain forsaken truth
but I am in love with summer's eves
and a good pair of walking shoes
and I enjoy a light blanket of snow
and the wetness on my boots
how can sin be so dangerous
when it comes as lovely as you?
(C) Maxwell 2014
Not hanging my head in defeat
just searching to make the water clear
why we will never be
what our hearts' desire
why I must leave my love in the fire
and hope you can forgive me,
my dear

I cry because I love you so
and it is for that very reason I must go
you pull my sleeve and beg me please
don't leave
and while every cell in my body meets resistance
and while I've found what I had been waiting for in all my existence
and while our souls have conjoined amidst such great distance
and with patience and persistence we still found the power within to be

I break your world

and in the name of fear
I flee
(C) Maxwell 2014
Dear Precious,

Mommy loves you.

You are the complete adoration of my selfless soul. What joy and learning experience it will be to watch you grow!

You aren't even here yet, but I know you are patiently waiting to come through. Funny thing you may want to know; your mommy is patiently waiting too!

I pray to God He gives me the tools I need to be the perfect mother. That I can truly provide you with the world you deserve, and to make you the greatest King or Queen you were born to be.

I will teach you about loss and I will teach you about love. I will show you the beauty in lillies and the purity of a dove. I will introduce you to adventures and the rising of the sun, and I will teach you how to capture fire flies when the day is done.

I will do my best to help you understand pain, and show you that even a rainbow cannot exist without rain. You will know the gift of a father and will know the love of a much higher power.

My precious soul child you, I will do everything in my power to love, honor, and rightfully protect you. So do not be afraid to come down to this silly earth, there is far too much to see.  Come down for a visit and be with me.

You will understand one day what it is to be in my shoes, and I will always be at your side, whether in physical or spiritual form, to guide you.

My precious soul child wherever you may be, I will always be waiting.

Love You Forever,
Mom
(C) Maxwell 2014
Blink your eyes once.

An innocent child
killed just like that.

Blink your eyes twice.

While walking through the wrong neighborhood

being black.

How far has the doctrine of Dr. King
come for that?

Mr. Cooke sang to us a change
was gon come..
and he ain't even here to write the lyrics to finish the song unsung!

I wonder if he is watching from the sky,
and knows we are all afraid to die.

It's been a long time coming,
he said.

And here we still wait
to be dead.

And in the midst of our waiting,
we've decided to
**** each other instead.



I know change is a long time coming
Listening to "A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke and reading some history. The Trayvon Martin case came to mind and it still makes me emotional to this day.

(C) Maxwell 2014
What were your initial intentions?
because your answers aren't good enough
I saw what was shared when you told me you cared and I'm calling your bluff
Did you forget I am a woman?
a smart one indeed?
to think that you thought
you could hinder my mind
and cloud the reality I see
Ha!
HILARIOUS!
How silly of me
to fall into an ocean of melancholy dreams
to think I may have found out
what this all really means
When you're just the same
as the rest of them
And here I was thinking **** what a catch; I've found the best of them

HA!

Intermediate comical humor;
that's life for you, you see
and like a **** fool I gave in
now the joke is on me
Eh. Yeah. Just thinking and venting

(C) Maxwell 2014
so you're dying.

I don't want to believe it,
even though,
I see it.

I see it in the agony of your smile
and how much it hurts you to do so.
I see it in your shortness of breath,
with the weakening of your step;
but the strength has not left.

That blasted leukemia,
why not somebody else?
Someone who doesn't give a ****
about their health.

It's unfair.
Seeing you there.
Chemo after chemo
one transfusion after the next,
your body is giving up,
the ability to heal has dissipated,
although your spirit has illuminated,
****** you gave it your best!
Don't ever stop breathing,
please just take a breath.

Don't ever stop breathing.

Don't.
Ever.
Stop.
(C) Maxwell 2014
I got curious about your past so I sat down for two hours and read every single thing you had ever written
I also discovered every single thing she had written as well
AND!
I managed to see what you had written each other
I sat back and drank my coffee and laughed a spell
Oh you had me at hello
You charming ******* you
and to think I have shared and shared
and to think I opened up my soul
I let you in
For the record, her poetry ***** ***** in comparison to mine, and to anything I ever written for you bled onto the screen like a wounded heart
My blood wasn't clear it was thick and sincere and full of harmonic truth!
Because this isn't just infatuation
this isn't just a **** text message
oh light up my screen every day type of conversation
It was written
It was predicted
and here I am ******* for making such a careless and irrational decision
The nerve! Ugh!
To think I seriously believed
that I was the first
and the first of many was me
but from the looks of her story
it seems the first it was she

You answered my question and I read
right
between
the lines
I'm here for your amusement
and the passing of time

You are so good!
I wonder how many other women you have swooned
How many of us were lured in by your excellent ******* poetry
to have our sorry ***** served on a spoon

You know what? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt
Ill throw my hands in the air and throw in the towl
To think I shed a tear because I really wanted and needed you around somehow

Go ahead and take your bow

The show is over now
Just venting.
I'm pretty angry for no reason and I find it somewhat hilarious. Lol.
(C) Maxwell 2014
I downed this big *** bottle of wine
in a small hope to get you off my mind
but your ******* smile man
that **** has me on cloud nine
all. the. time.
your world is scary I'll admit
not sure if you're friends or family
would accept the idea of me
or let me in
just crash into me
in a boy's dream
in a reality

I'm bare ***** here you know,
I'm crazy for you
you put a glow into my eyes
and the happiness that lacks at home
something I thought I had
something I thought I'd know
Makes me cry tears of joy and sadness all the same
I don't want to hurt anyone
but I can't help what I've gained
So what do I do with it all?
What do I do with you?
Listening to Dave Matthews and getting drunk. Duh.
(C) Maxwell
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