Beautiful boy
I always knew it was you.
In a world on fire,
Your eyes of blue
Keep me sane.

A glacier in the sea
For me to cling to
And a pretty smile
To hold me together,
You didn’t cause my Titanic.
You saved it

And here I am,
In love again
Without a second thought.
I’d give up my heart
Any day
If it meant I’d find yours so quickly

You know what my English teacher told me today
She grinned at me
Said I was going to do well on this one
Because I am not one
To follow her rules

My life is ending
My world, changing
Souls to come across
And souls to leave behind
And in my nightmares of
The glorified chaos,
I see yours drift away.

With so much ending,
And so much changing,
I see the world open its
Arms to me.
And though it is vast
And cold
And salty
And windy
And moist enough to soak into my bones,
At least I have my kayak,
With countless directions to go
(Except back, mind you),
And you in the other seat.

he is a different feeling
the jump from the airplane
the step off the edge with the rope swing
the synchronized spinning of my feet on a bike chain
to be alive: heart pounding, hard breathing, head spinning
he is a different feeling
and yet he is
the parachute,
the water waiting to catch me,
the wind in my hair
heart pounding, hard breathing, head spinning.
but everything is clear

the day I understood why it wouldn’t work
was that one day in chem
you whispered with your eyes to me,
“what happens when the
unstoppable force meets
the immovable object”

only two things can occur

either by some miracle, we will move around each other,

or we will spontaneously
combust

Take me to the Leonardo and
Dance with me in the rain and
Come with me to Costco just for fun and
Read with me in a library with your hand in mine and
Drive me to the aquarium just for you to complain about the smell and tell me I look like the ugliest fish there

Bring me to the biggest puddle you saw today so I can jump in it and
Tell me when you’re going to run away to California so I can come with you and
Let me listen to the sound of your voice vibrating in your sternum while I lay on your chest, enjoying the tune of your heartbeat and
Bring me fireworks from your friend in Wyoming and
Take me to your place you go to think and
Send me every meme that makes you smile and
Sing your favorite song with me at the top of your lungs

Tell me of your fears and your guilt and your joy and
Tell me why you use a double bladed razor and your favorite color is yellow but sometimes green and which brother that scar above your eye came from and
Let me walk with you through your pain
And allow me pull you close when you feel like sobbing
Walk with me on rocky roads even though every instinct in you wants to run away
Let me be warm and be gentle and be healing when you need me to be

Trust me
to hold your needs
Trust me
to bandaid your battered heart

If only I could find someone who makes me feel the way my indie camping and adventure playlist does
It is the yearning of my soul to find someone who inspires me to do more than simply live;
To spend every second of my life with my heart pounding, adrenaline rushing, air gushing in and out of my lungs
Someone who smells of pine and has eyes the color of the beat-down trail, who dares to do what is right and what is fearless

I am not looking for a savior
Just a fellow adventurer

With a contagious smile and the cutest grovely laugh, one that makes the birds sing
Someone who gives bear hugs and hums with the breeze
Who will take a road trip and stop at all the lonely places
Someone who will come experience the real feeling of freedom, and will not ask me to confine myself for him

I am not looking for a captivator
Just a fellow adventurer

i hold a little rectangular prism
i tap a few little boxes. each is insignificant
on it’s own
abcdefghijk
swirling lines and choppy symbols
intermix and interact and interchange
gaps reside between them. why?
a b c d e f g h i j k
doesn’t it appear a little clearer,
a little easier,
a little more elegant?
why are we so afraid of spaces?
why are we so afraid of solitude?

The phrase “so happy I could die”
Like an eye in the storm,
The clouds had parted for just a moment
And I saw the stars, distant and marvelous

And I said, if I died right now,
That would be just fine
And the Voice of God itself whispered
His knowing smile to me

they say falling into love
is dramatic and daring
and desperate and striking and beautiful
and all the good words in between

but they don’t tell you
when love you must fall out of
it is just as much a thing of beauty

you may see
a glittering dark sky,
a tireless display where
light and color and God collide

all I see
is the broken promise he
left behind;
for though time, space, and state
lines separate,

at least we would sleep
under the same massive,
twinkling,
blanket

you will fade from my life like the snow melting.
slowly, surely, and leaving me
ready to bloom.

I
   CANNOT
                       BELIEVE
I
     LET
                MYSELF
                                    TH­INK
YOU
          WERE
                       EVEN
                                    SLIGHTLY
A
     KIND
                 HUMAN.

ALL
          I AM
                     TO YOU
IS
     A SET
                  OF STAIRS.

Two women
One sobbing, one singing
Two women in one body
My body

Two women
Separate in emotion and desire
Separate by what they see
Out their windows

One woman
Sees nothing but good. She
Is kind and open and she loves continuously
She never stops giving and she does
Not regret it. Not a bit at all
She is a river

One woman
Sees the mundane and is reminded
Of he, the fire, who hurts her, he who
Kills her with his not caring
She does not distance herself, fearing she
Will lose herself too when she does
She is oil-
And she hates herself for it

Two women
One aching, one at rest
United in one vessel of flesh
A vessel at war with itself
My flesh

It’s funny
When bread I must bake
All I can think of
Is the delightful taste
Of cookies

Leave me in peace
For I am soul-searching
I must learn to lust after the silence
That comes only after words
Scrape me like knives

Leave me in solace
For I am soul-searching
I must learn to never rely
On the strong, calloused hands of men
Accustomed to their own ways

No.

Leave me in discomfort
For I am soul-searching
I must learn that I am stronger
Than any pain, or loneliness,
Or hurtful words
Guys like you like to leave

I knew you
Were the one
When you said

You could only finish
33.334% of a *** of
Kraft Mac n Cheese

For I myself
Can finish no more
Than 66.667%

Mamba
impossibly human
the bite, the strike, the temperament
When threatened, the mamba comes out
Strike, strike, strike, strike
The mamba is relentless
His venom coursing through the veins
Of his foolish challengers
His coal black eyes, hungry
Defeating, intimidating, vicious
The mamba bite is always fatal
For he has no antivenin to defeat him
No mortal power can wither him
To the dust
Strike, strike, strike, strike
The common name of the snake
Is given to no common man
Only the name of the fastest, most protective, most aggressive,
Tallest, biggest, lethal-est snake
Belongs to the man with the biggest, lethal-est presence
Strike, strike, strike, strike
Formidable anywhere he is placed
Strike, strike, strike, strike
The crown of the kingdom sits
Comfortably atop his temples
Strike, strike, strike, strike
How fitting
The world’s deadliest player
Be called after
The world’s deadliest snake