“please be naked”

she stands in her doorway wearing just a gown,
I walk in the house, dumbstruck by beauty,
up in her room undoing the bow, the shield simply slides down
caressing her curves, stroking down to the floor,
intertwined bodies craving the touch of the other,
joined as one in the gentle acts of love and lust,
romanticised ideals of perfection and soft rhythm,
delicate groans as two become one,
the broken poet, for the moment, is gone,
my drug addiction of you, just wanting more,
As my heart bleeds, love begins to pour.

“please be naked”.

Where has that boy gone?
The excitable, football-mad child,
Enjoying every second of his youth,
Playing with friends so close that they’re brothers.

Where has that boy gone?
The one who showed unimaginable love to all,
Cherished his family without fail,
So happy, so free, was that not me?

That boy has gone.
Only a shadow remains,
A scarred existence taken day by day,
A vacuum to all happiness within his house.

That boy, I fear, has gone,
I do not like who remains,
An emotional wreck unable to feel,
A dishonest mess unable to stay sober.

It took too long but now I see,
He’s thinking about killing me.

My head is not set on straight,
Avoidable actions that I take feed my hate,
Manipulating, deceiving, my gentle mind has gone,
‘beware the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on’,
The evil Villain of my own story,
I’m the only one able to abhor me,
Searching for happiness bed by bed,
Unable to save my own head,
How my heart feels I am never sure,
Consumed by lust, just begging for more
Sat alone, feelings of fear start to itch,
You know what they say; Karma is a *****.

Cursed, the feeling of constant regret,

Fighting, failing to cope with life,

Lost, unable to find who I want to be,

Sick, tired, broken and abused,

Beaten, my mind black and blue from self pity and loathing,

Hated, unable to love myself,

Scarred, pain waits around every corner,

Sleepless, the thought of you encapsulates me,

Depressed, searching for happiness at The Bottom of The Bottle.