I feel empty
And I don't know why
I feel empty
And sometimes I'm shy
I feel empty
But what can I do?
I feel empty
And where are you?

i’m sitting at my kitchen table
in my home
that is no longer my home

real or not real?

sitting across from me
is my mom
my mom left this world
six years ago

real or not real?

she takes a sip of her tea
as i sip mine
and she speaks

real or not real?

she tells me she is “in-between”
she can still see things
from the other side
even though i can’t

real or not real?

i tell her
i can feel her presence
when she isn’t there

real or not real?

she looks me in the eyes
and nods
smiling,
knowingly

real or not real?

I blurt out a question
that’s been burning inside me
“how did you die?”

real or not real?

she gathers herself
as if already expecting
this question
to come

real or not real?

“i woke up choking,
there was a light.
Then everything stopped."

real or not real?

i open my eyes
back in my room
i had been sleeping.
but had i been dreaming??

Why so lazy...
            when all you have to do is eat
Why so lazy...
            when all you have to do is speak
Why so lazy...
            when you don't even have to wake at 6

Why so lazy
             why so lazy...

Why so busy...
            when what you only know is fun
Why so busy...
            when you can't even wash your hand
Why so busy...
             when you have all the time to deny

Why so busy
            why so busy...

Why so crazy...
             when you think deeply what to say
Why so crazy...
             when you can't freely do your way
Why so crazy...
             when you're totally okay

Why so crazy
             why so crazy...

You're so Crazy
               when you say you're Busy
                                 when the truth is you're Lazy

That's who you are
That's who you are

~~

*Once, I was a hard sand stone
Neither had I made a tune nor a tone
I had broken after a strong shock wave
From a waterfall, I had fallen into a pothole but could not settle

After I was moving with a long stream as a rolling stone
Now I have no edge but only passing a phase
A few days ago, I discovered myself as a grain of sand
And day by day, I have been drowning beneath the ocean

~~

@ Musfiq us shaleheen

On a payphone in Swift Current I am calling you
on a road leading nowhere the miles stretch before me
like burning crosses telephone wires so hot
they send sparks flying through the sky
no sun shines here but my skin feels...thought you'd want
to know about the man who gave me this cigarette he tried
to buy my love with smoky dreams do you understand? my need
my addiction I am striking a match S.O.S. to your heart

The big green sign says I am only three hundred miles shy
of holding you still I had to call say hello/goodbye
and somewhere in between I miss you perhaps
my love will remain in this land endless towers of wheat
desolate and beautiful

Your words--
They grate and corrode.
Rice and birds--
Explode.

Rage wells,
It overflows.
No more silent spells,
We're grown.