In time, you will walk on

my fingers will become stars
my lips, branches
my heart, brittle moss
you will go away from me gently

and grow upon this loss

I say goodbye to you often,
in letters and scribbled clouds, penned and hidden
under the keyboard on your desk.
tucked small and sleepy, as I pack in
your wake.

and just as frequently,
per month,
you greet with
wishful kisses, me teetering
unbalanced, off the escalator,
luggage strap, cold nose, bags dangling.

a myriad collection, sealed with "love you" texts,
taxi chits and spoon wrappers.
is this our way now?
our days, a matrimonial, cross-country conundrum.
a strung together , part time marriage,
intermittently stamped by the vested men,
marked by my travel clock,
wrapped in your worn out coat
and bolstered by the broken bed...

back to our separate hemispheres,
in such a hurry.

I was scared
to turn up
the stairs
lest you be
waiting for
me
there.
who knows
what lies
in the dark
who tells the
truth when the
switch is un-
switched.
but when
big hands
turned on
the lights,
I opened my
eyes and
still
could not
see what was
hidden in those
shapes crouching
in the
shadows
of your
empty
halls.

Too right-
a cup so full
cannot hold
cannot comprehend
focus or push back

a cup will spill, trembling
when held in unsteady fingers
knuckles white, nail beds stark

a soul pushed
a soul stretched

has no balance left

My body is not
a wonderland.

there is nothing
sultry about
A Cold.

'Come hither' with a
red nose?
Oh Baby...

Commentary on
Modern Music,
nearly halted by
an almost snot rocket...
Authority tempered
with a rasp.

"Did you know you could
DIE if you hold in a sneeze?"
9 year old anecdotal prophet's
looming outline, right up close to
my face.

messy  half-dreams under the
futile winter-hat Reality Shield in the
backseat of  Homeward bound
Economy Wheel Gathering.

**** Man Voice to
telemarketers.

No sir, that's Mrs. White.

you can't tell
me anything, Universe.
I ask you
I ask you
I press the
fate button.
and you shut
your coy little
lips and say
no no
don't look
no peeking-
I'll just be
behind this tree
trust me, you'll
like it-
just take another
step forward.
yep, keep going.
But see, How?
how do I know
you didn't paint
a trompe- l'oeil
of a pit
just beneath my
toe tips
how do I know
whether I'll fall
into a cave
or wind up in
an office?
Just open
that door.
I want to
look into the hall
maybe peer at
your houseplants
the radiators
and doorknobs of
the future.
just some
spoilers.
then I'll
leave you
alone, I swear
I'll turn off
the lights, tuck
in and just
keep
walking on til
the end.

Oh
Laundry basket- mysterious as an Oracle.

Sometimes, looking at you in the light of the kitchen  I want
to run a finger
Down the length of your nose but
I know you'd wrinkle it, and shake your head citing a tickle, but kiss behind my shoulder as soon
As I turn away

When my feet make ice pools in the bed
Toes accidentally brushing your ankle and you **** abruptly, but upon hearing
My sigh, trap them back with your ankles til, martyr that you are, I'm engulfed in
Warmth at your
Expense.

Sometimes the last trickle of milk is mine, for the coffee,
Silent with your eyes smiling fondly, you look on as I sip, resolutely stirring powdered
Dead baby souls into mug as substitute.

Even damp smelly socks
Greasy hair
Neurotic tears and
Intellectual rambling epiphanies

Even childish blunders, fudging the
Budget or burning the toast

You still call me fond Things.

And love Me.
The most.

the thrill
of you races
over my skin.

two equals one
-say the words
then it's done.

we'll start
at the beginning
of  an uncharted board
game

the directions are fuzzy
but everyone's played
it.

so much better,
though,

than Monopoly, don't
you think?

I Do.

quietness with the cats
by my elbow
blue-white computer light
the sound of the cars
out the window
holding me home
sweet air over
my shoulder
everything will
find its way.

and then I will
sleep.

The World: an enormous
place where nobody quite
fits.

I became unexpectedly aware
of a
magnet in my chest.
an anchor under my
breast bone.
soft, quiet, almost
unnoticeable.
until later pondered alone
in a dark room.

your polarity,
being opposite naturally,
drew me slow
through the aisles in
the theatre
past people carrying
jackets
into a park
where city stars
were streetlights and
our human discoveries
were serenaded
by the spring song
of homeless men pushing
carts up the street.

As our magnets gradually
synched
I felt the heavy slide and click of
understanding
coded into songs and on the fronts of
cards

and when I let you-
I saw colours in
your kiss,
noting that some matched
your eyes.
I found home in
your arms.
like a final orientation...
like being on a road trip my whole life
without even knowing.

Became afraid.

Because really,
who understands love,
when they've never been properly
introduced?

My gratitude is a girl in
a red dress.

I keep her in the palm of my right hand.

the wind blows, hard in her hair,
whipping it,
in the many directions of good fortune

but in my left,
the compass spins
with the magnetic compassion

of a broken watch.

and I fear my luck has
fallen bread-side up.

Green for healing
unexpected glee
for the code words of couples

Hazel for quiet
for still moments
long fingers and outlines

Deep jade
rich rings for an iris
fringed veil and flash of white

Darker when
they see me
nearing our bed

Empty, for when
I left it,
turning quick on my heel

because I stopped seeing
what his
did.

"I wanted to touch your hair..."

"why?"

It was just...

your cheek seemed,
so sad,

without my hand.

look for me when
there's light.
search for me from
the sidewalk.
peer up from the past
steer away from the
future.
but if you hurt, and
sting like fire...
I'll drop you here
splashing heat on my
toes
because ice can fix that.
but I
warn you now, memory
only
gets patched over,
not erased.