and i'm happy you're in my life again and i'm happy we have eachother again but you have to understand that sometimes we can't talk

not because i don't want to
i always want to talk with you

but sometimes peering into your life for too long reminds me that for a little while you didn't want me to be apart of it

just friends, he whispered
as he pulled me closer
pressing his lips to my forehead.
just friends, i repeated in my head
because i knew that
he loved her
and she loved him
and i didn't fit into the equation
no matter how much
it made my chest collapse on itself.
(i was fighting a war
i'd already lost.)

Reminder:

Stop making your body a home for broken men with misshapen dreams of romance.

I'm OK.  I'm fine. She whispered as she cried tonight.

lately i've been doing more
staring at the pages than
actually reading
and i've been doing more
smoking than quitting
and i've been doing more
laying in bed wishing i was
anywhere else than sleeping
and i've been doing more
binge drinking than trying
to sober up
but mostly i've been doing
more missing you than
forgetting you and that might
be the biggest problem here

She sits on the bed and reads me
Old poetry
About ******, sadness, and loss
All synonyms
For the same affliction really
Dysfunction and despair
Captured in yellowed archival snapshots
Of a girl
With a penchant for surviving pain

Mortality leaps
From the prose as she reviews her life
In hellish imagery
A transmutation of spirit occurs
Within her
As she drifts through the years
On each page
Melancholy awareness for us both realizing
That it's all real

No one can take away the scars that
Every word cuts
No one can deny the inviolable fortitude
Required to document
The war embedded and entrenched on the front lines
Just old poetry
To me they resonate like a distant bell
Her sudden silence
Whispers that the dead still scream her name