Congrats.
You’ve done it.
You know that scar isn’t going to heal.
You went too deep.
You lost control.
You’ll have to live with that.
You now bear the insignia
Of the anguished.

I hate this
I hate what’s happened
I hate what we’ve done
What I’ve done...
I don’t want you to just be some old memory
You’ve meant too much to me
I still feel the sharp pain of your absence
I feel the loss in my heart
The aching in my chest
I feel the guilt in my wrist
Ghost pains of lines that won’t fade
I feel the longing in my throat
As my eyes well with tears
Because you’re not here
And I just... I miss you...
I love you.

I don’t make decisions for me
Because I don’t care
Risks don’t count
I could do anything

But I know better
I know there’s a version of me
Someone who would care
Someday...
It’ll matter to her
I can’t ruin this for her
I can’t destroy everything for her
Because I know what she’s been through
I can’t... I can’t make her pick up my mess...

tw suicidal fantasy



This is the last time
The knife will never again leave its drawer
Not after tonight
Not by my hand

I’ll take it out
Unsheathe the tool of my end
I just... I just wanna...
Hold it against my skin

There will be no restraint
Not this time
I’ll dig it in as deep as I can bear
Tear a horrible **** in my arm

I wanna feel the agony
Watch myself bleed out
Until it gets foggy
Until the room starts to sway

Then, I can lay myself down
One last time.

Haha
There’s no empathy in me
So sweet of you to notice
I don’t ******* care
My heart is a gaping hole
A void you can’t fill
And to feel something
I’ll hurt you
I’ll watch you bleed
To amuse myself
And cut my own skin
To feel something more
Because I’m not a good person
Don’t get me wrong here
I am not okay
And I’ll drag you to Hell
Right along with me