It is more than me
It has touched even you
Yes you sitting on that glowing screen
You have felt it in your feet
Trembled in your bones
Echoed in your mind
And at times even in your sleepless tumbling rolling in the
sheets that specter that stops you from sleeping.

But I will tell you I have loved nothing as fierce
As completely
That should it stop
I would think so would my heart
I shut down like a robot with a glitching brain
Panting that last trembling note
Falling from my lips to echo in the sudden silence.

Yes even with death I could not part from it
For even dead my being would shatter into song
Ripping from the ether
Like a winding piano toy
I should sing yes
Even into my grave

Singing "A beach in Hawaii..."
Plucking that soulful song
Fingers sliding that beautiful rhythm calling you from beyond the grave.
The way music calls me everyday.

We spend our whole lives chasing a moment
That pursuit of happiness just beyond our reach
We never find it
That willful character is fleeting.
Flitting further from our grasp.
If only we would stop and listen
To the beating of feet on trembling ground
We would come to notice happiness can never be found
But experienced.

I want new love
That kind of new buzz igniting the passionate flames of freedom
Like Spanish fire
Vibrant
Reds, yellows, and white
Bold and over the top
That cinematic love that faceless wonder
Beyond the tangles of a painted world
Where the heart sizzles, crackles like oil in a hot pan
The acid rub of raw emotion that chews up the back of the throat
Till there is nothing left but that sensitive ache

Where tears are from joy, and pain
Two emotions so entangled that one knows no end to the other
Where "I love yous" are murmured in the quiet
Screamed in righteous fury
Garbled in shaking tears.
I want new love
Something that is truly real.

That makes bones shatter and the mind reel
Something that binds my hands and ruffles my wings
That poisonistic aphrodisiac
Not cupid on his euphoric wing
I want raw
I WANT REAL
That feel love
That everything

True love
That fantasy
That makes me feel like a princess
The poet, the queen

I need real love, new love, and true love
All those emotions in between
Not a solemn promise, with no fire, no mind, just game
Not the fake, or whispers of what could be
I need real love, true love, that kind that only feels.

If all I am is man
Then I want the world in my hands
I want the right to speak with words that echo
I want to posses the same rights of work, status
And objectify others to meet my own selfish needs
That when I die my spouse dies with me for they are worth nothing without me
May they bind their feet to satisfy my need to provide,  support because they are nothing but an ornament to my state
Let me abuse them with words and hand to meet my every demand
All that they are is mine
For I am man
A victim to my own sick pride.

Like water the ripple of your life has stilled
Where I become the untouched pool purified by the fluxing of my own intention
Warmed by the shifting spirits of ideals
Like great bodies within the deep  the golden shimmer of epiphany engender deeper cultivation
Reflecting the world back out like a great mirror
Pushing away the digestion of filth from the center
That lack luster film of society dripping red from open hands
I expel the marginalized oppression
You tried to change me
Not aware I was doing so all along.

Fingers shake that caffeine addiction
Filling the popping zing zigzagging down the veins
Sparking the nervous fluttering exhilaration
Across the black keyboard face
My heart tapping its rag time rhythm spreading the drug across the sitting body
Shaking the knee to bounce the tipping foot faster and faster
To the music filling and stretching the headphone vibe
Eyes moving rolling back from screen to book face
Tapping clicking the hurried movement of crunch time.
Finals here again
Running on borrowed time.

I Want To Forget I'm Missing you...
Want to curl up and cry....
On a day with rain. ..
forget that you ever came...
Forget the lies you told...
forget my heart in all its pieces. ...
just lay curled up in sobbing brokeness. ..
Trying to forget the essence of you in my life...
I'm waiting for rain...

E.J.M.