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Ella James Apr 12
It trickles down my spine like your fingers did

Staring into steamy haze,

the place where I hid.

Skin ignites ablaze  

Complications roll off my shoulders  

refreshing my sore soul.

Your lips curve into a smoulder

my body loses control.

Everything burns

my heart dances in the flames

as it takes a negative turn

No more games.

But as the past washes away,

my body melts like clay as I beg you to stay.
Ella James Apr 12
She excites herself in mystery

Her red lips pop just like a cherry

No one knows her, no one knows her history

Her long black painted nails make her scary.

She’s a good girl, she feels so good

Nobody knows her like I do, inside and out

The way she looks at me, passionate, you know she would

Fiery golden eyes pour into mine with no doubt.

Do I really know her at all?

Her fears, dreams, wants in life

Hands cold, dead, small

She stands there, her heart punctured with a knife.

“How could you?”

Sorry darling, you have no clue.
Ella James Apr 12
What are you thinking?  

I don’t know

Hidden in the dark,

like a monster under a bed



Blank face, no expression.

Your walls are high, but so are mine

You’re trapped.

In a room without windows

A straight jacket around your heart

It’s trying to pump; you won’t let it



It’s dark down here

Pressure.

Drowns.

My.

Soul.  



I’m trying alright.

To piece together the way you work,

just like a potter and his clay

One day, you will cross this line

This fine line.  

We’ll be alright.
Ella James Apr 12
If the world was ending,

I would cry.

I would think of all the possible outcomes of my death.

Painful?

Beautiful?



Would the fact that death doesn’t scare me make a difference?

But the reaction would break me forever

This world is huge, we have no idea

We are blind.

We are deaf.  

To the fact that this world is selfish.



Why would I want to live in a place like this?

Ya know what, let’s become God

Let’s start again. Make a new one

A new life.

A happier one.  



Make it so that there is no pain

No suffering.

No tears, no scars

A place where we can live our dreams

To experience experiences.  



You are small.

You don’t matter.  

No one cares ya know

Not in this life. Selfish is what we are

We are like children who don’t share their toys

Like a teenage girl who howls

when she doesn’t get a Suzuki Swift for her 16th birthday.
Ella James Apr 12
Oh, how funny it is to be in love

Intense emotions of belonging, falling

Smiles and tears, make or break

I was in love once.  



Piercing green eyes, like the dark forest

where he used to ride

Then there’s me, of course

Sitting on the sidelines, watching him break up the dirt  

beneath him with the tough rubber wheels

I was in love once.  



We sat, hand in hand on ‘our’ bench

E + C engraved, isn’t that cringey

Talking about the future,  

married, travelling the world together.

I was in love once.  



When everything was perfect, he didn’t see the same

Didn’t feel the same.

He questioned. He judged.  

I was left behind, staring at a blank wall while he

was on the other side making it higher.

I don’t love you anymore was written on the knife

that plunged into my heart

But I was still in ******* love once.



As days go by, tears dry

Feelings fade, love falls away

Memories turn to a haze, but when I see his face,

it all floods back, to haunt me again
Ella James Apr 12
I feel trapped.

Like a small mouse with its leg stuck under a metal bar

In a glass jar, lid ******* on tight.

Screaming.

No one can hear me

Goosebumps caress my body  

Fully.

Wholly.  

You look into my eyes; seeing dark grey clouds

Heart hardly pumping as my eyes bore into yours

I am dead.



Barely breathing

Glazed eyes pool

Salt dripping off eyelashes

Curves aching as nails dig deeper

I crumble under the touch

Blank face.

Blank heart.

I am dead.
Ella James Apr 12
It swivels around me like a tornado

The bitter taste of it

Anxiety.

The kick from it

Betrayal.



How sweet it is

Leaving the pack behind

Getting to call this my own

Fresh, spicy, speciously sweet

A rib cage out of cinnamon and cigarettes.

— The End —