i loved you once
one morning
you filled my heart with sunshine
something i never knew existed
bright afternoon
not thinking of tomorrow
what a foolish thought;
thinking days were forever
the dawn came
i was scared
you
you left me
and i
i will never be the same

slithers up the stairs
black as night his mutant skin drips upward
one
more
stair

she can hear him slink
one foot in front of the other
she retreats her hallowed head

the stalker climbs higher
higher than his arrogance could ever take him
and higher than the noose he has hung
for the depredation of her

screams forewarning in her head
this is the man which shares her bed
lunges forth and bolts the latches
head heart body spirit

bites the tattered tenderness
feels it bleed between his teeth
swallows her last atonement
so that there is nothing left to offer
envy rips through shivering splinters of a man
with nothing left to cover

she stalks across the bedroom
where she can see a hopeful face
where peaceful air once drifted high
will return again that way
a pis aller leap
from where she never stood again
this man will not be the death of her

perfectly soft, cascading hair
crest of a neck so real
stripped of all innocence laying bare
words could never heal
on her sleeves, emotions to wear
silence of the night thick to feel
never would she be the same
only loneliness -herself remain

walking through the halls
facing all her peers
no one would ever know at all
her watermark of tears
couldn't tell she'd built a wall
to keep inside her fears
would never let one break it down
comfortable inside her frown

looking now inside to face herself at last
she's battling demons now, demons all her own
rising triumph threatens to destroy her happy past
tearing ripping swallowing up what was once her home
emptiness consumes her, left in a field so vast
why me now this? all questions left unknown

never would she be the same
only loneliness -herself remain

I look out the glass
clearing my head
contemplating
he wonders if something is wrong
I'm quiet at dinner
appreciating ambiance
he wonders why I'm distant
I disagree with his futile attempts
to take me on adventure

I need to feel safe

but he wonders how we are so different
I weep - alone - but he hears
he wonders what he has done
his intentions are pure
his feelings hurt
but why can't he see - if I can't handle myself, how will I ever handle him.