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Beauty comes a dime a dozen**
Sliding through the cracks
Sticky change if you ask me
But I don't check the facts
I'm a penny-pinching prophet
All premonitions made out to cash
My fingers dig between the floorboards
But there are *some things I can't grasp
Have you ever loved a friend?

Unbeknownst to him, waited for his words

To play havoc on your heart..



Have you ever loved a friend,

Laughed at all his silliest puns,

Cried for him your secret tears

And yet egged him on to touch the stars?



Have you ever loved a friend

Cherished his thoughts, worshipped his laughter,

Never daring to open your heart

Shared his wildest, craziest deeds?



Have you ever loved a friend

Who pried open all your secrets except one,

Silently loved him in all your lonely dreams

And yet let him free to love?



Have you ever loved a friend?

Unbeknownst to him, waited for his words

To play havoc on your heart..
my hands would like to thank your hands
for the time we were drunk out of our minds
but your hands knew enough
to hold, not grab
to hold, not push
to hold,
and hold on.

my hands would like to thank your hands
for being constants, not variables.
for having a thermostat so perfect,
holding hands is like entering
a fire-warmed cabin
after a snowstorm -
and you’re the only light around for miles.

but most importantly,
my hands
would like to thank your hands
for keeping other things from my hands;
things that shouldn’t be found in hands,
like the last cigarette
or a sharp pointy object -

and the last time
it was desperation that
got the better of me;

and not your hands.
-
There are times
When the only way I can see
Is through you.
I am standing in the spot where my family almost died
Here, in this land
All of life turned gray
Not the temporary gray of a rainy day
Not the gray of a fading photograph
No
The gray like ash
Or the ashes of the fallen
Gray like the plumes of smoke
Billowing out from the gas chambers
Standing in this spot
I feel connected
A pull
A throwback to my roots

I feel so… somber
Like I can see that day
January 27th 1945
My family members
Or what was left
Some of the 6,000 that were left
Staring and wondering
Is this real?
Or
Is this just another delusion brought on by hunger
Or are we free?
They told us we were free back in the day
But no
We walked for 40 years into the hands of a new oppression
Into a stereotype
Into the **** of a joke
Into the law offices and bank teller of the world

Go back a little further
Back into Poland
Before 1945
Think 1944
I know what a needle and ink on skin feels like
But I cannot imagine it by force
Forced away from the laws of my religion
A name, reduced to a number
24601
No
More like A-98288 on a forearm
No
I can feel the burn
In my eyes and in my lungs
Not from the gas and the filth
But from the pain of generations of jews and others labeled as different
As not pure

I feel the pull
The connection
Severed
My grandmothers 14 siblings reduced to 3
Back to 1945
I feel…
Empty
My existence no longer focused on minute by minute survival
I feel…
A flutter
Of anxiety, of pain, of…
Hope…
Brought on by these men in uniform not seated in hate
Hope that we might live
Hope that the end is here!
But not the end that we have prayed for

Fade into color
I am standing in the spot where history almost erased me
And I remember all the years of oppression
And I can see how it continues
And I can see how it needs to change

I am standing in front of my peers
Asking
No
Begging you to see what I see
I am begging for change
I am begging for peace
You're hungry for good music with great lyrics.
You're hungry for late night talks.
You're hungry for art and you try
to feel it in every cell of your body.
You're hungry for knowledge.
Philanthropy.
Empathy.
And a bunch of others complicated words.
Oh, and you're hungry for that too,
I mean words,
especially if they are in a
Edgar Allan Poe poem.
You're hungry for little gestures.
You're hungry for true and extremely loud laughs.
You're hungry for history.
You're hungry about a lot of things, but you're
not hungry for love.
Because you already fell for all those stuff
you're hungry for.
the world
appears to be paused
the streets are empty
silence is in control
A storm is coming
something wild
dangerous
but
beautiful
in its way.
we do not have to beg and plead
to meet with our Gods in mosques and temples.
holy isn’t the space between stone pillars and walls -
holy is the absolute power of our ***,
holy is the space between our legs.
we do not have to hide and disguise
the pain of a hundred muscles writhing and twisting
and sneak into warm kitchens to feed cold stomachs
after hours;
a pounding heartbeat
marking every second stolen to steal food
from a home that is just as rightfully ours.

we do not have an obligation to remain
a glassy lake that lies still throughout the storm,
pleasing every passerby with a picture of themselves;
the narcissists and egotists can go straight to hell.
we do not have to cut our lips on our teeth
by setting our default response to a ‘yes’
when every cell in our bodies unite to protest.

we do not have to pretend to smile at the
uninvited embraces of unwelcome hands and eyes.

because no holy man in a holy temple that exiles women
deserves to rub his filthy hands over the valleys and mountains
of goddesses cast in stone,
and no tradition can lead to the starvation
of a woman who has to bleed if she is to live.
lakes do not stay serene in a storm, they do not surrender;
they bend over backwards and swallow the horror.

you see?
we do not
we absolutely do not
have to
need to
or be forced to
do anything at all -
unless we
really, really
want to.
for #NaPoWriMo, for equality.
SD
Too often, our hearts are stolen, snatched, hands forced beneath our rib cages and bones shattered as they leave our chests.

But not her

She was different entirely.

I loved being in love with her
Often in the smallest, softest moments
Walking with her in the park, holding her hand at the cinema, sliding the straighteners through her hair, sleepily pressing my lips against hers at four in the morning, hearing her laughter echo across the room

It would hit me
As if the sun had let go of the earth

Just how lucky I was
To have the entire world
At my fingertips

*I would love her relentlessly.
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