I feel estranged every now and then.
I been trying for months to explain, my lack of, conviction.
Half-hearted attempts to force something pleasing.
The only thing I'm sure of these days
Is that I'm not sure about much of anything.

What was meant to last eternity
A star's sparkling mystery, always shrouded in dark
Instead it all came crashing down in the beauty of a shooting star
Wishes are no different than secrets in this sense
We all have them, and tell no one
Keep them tucked underneath our pain
A journal entry's page kept safe through memory

I want to be the Nothing's you whisper
In the ear of your lover
To dance along the strings of your heart
A romantic arrhythmia played in perfect time
Pausing for a brief moment
Of enthralled dyspnea

Some might call it foolish, but they are right...
For all the wrong reasons.
To be brave, you must be a fool
Looking at your fate with sunken eyes, stoic
Yet, you push forward, no this is not an escape
This is acceptance in its purest form
The difference between courage and a coward is distraction and denial
Why run from the inevitable?

I'm not inviting him in, but I will acknowledge the existence.

Her body stares at me, craving all I lack
She's plain, white, and empty
The urge to fill her void, it excites me, I cannot deny that fact
My fingers linger, praying she rewards me with her love
Each day her number grows, thousands flock and stuff her box
They selfishly empty themselves, all hoping for some relief
But as the end draws near its clear to see
She gives out love to all that seek
But to win her heart you must tell
The darkest secrets of yourself
She waits for you in the blackened rooms
Eager for the thrusting of your fingers
To expose the inner self
You must be content that she will share it with someone else
So I fill her box almost every night, accepting this arraignment
There are times when my fingers ****** for hours
Yet, somehow, she can always take it
She never tells me about her pain
Instead decides to tell me stories
Of the others who have filled her box
The others who came before me