Memories drift in and out like tides
I see them so clear,
despite the dust added over the years.
Felt the sunshine and felt the rain,
Even conquered storms
but scars remain.
Every tear that falls down here
is to wish you could hear...
What you did was a blunder
I feel devastated.
Dreams turned into nightmares,
And love like this wasn't meant for me.
My feelings for you was a sin,
slipping through my hands like my fate
Washing over me like I've failed every moment.

Flick* bic

                                       ....

                 bubble   sizzle   POP!


drop   ...bloop  splatter  --- hot.

                           insert   slurp   tink! tink! , prepped...

I can only imagine what it was like for you
Sitting at the foot of your bed
Scared for the welfare of us two
And you'd imagine
What sort of things I'd make her do
To support our habit
Did I sell her off, make her *******
There was nothing I could say
In your mind that was already the truth
I still remember the day when
You posted bail and said
"This isn't real love... because if it were
you wouldn't poke her skin
with a needle's *****
and fill her with poison!
This is ******* poison!
And you're killing her!
No, this isn't love... you're a ******* monster."
If you only knew how powerful that was.

I want you to imagine now
Just for a moment what it was like from our side
She was handed to me
I was given sole responsibility
But we'd never imagine this
That we'd resort to the things we'd do
To support our habit
Try to get a bag or two
And find the strength to sit up straight, at the foot of our bed
Scared for the welfare check
Was it coming in, or do we have skip dinner again
I know we made it look so easy, like we had it all together
But who wears long sleeves, in the middle of the summer
Just to hide our scars
Never staying long because we needed that needle in our arm
Behind those jail bars
In a physical manifestation
Of the prison hell that lived inside ourselves
Now we were under real investigation...
Can you imagine?
With the threat of jail, our mental hell, seeing her poke herself... fo(u)r hours
Crying out to me, "Baby, please?!
I can't get it, and my arms are so swollen!
Look at them bleed!"
So I was stuck with the ****** truth
Let her keep damaging herself... I know she'd get it eventually
But how many more hours until she felt
The needle slip into her vein...
Or I could step in and help
Quickly end her pain, I knew
The result would be the same
She'd get sooo HIIIGH
So I'd have to choose
I thought what I did was right
Well, I mean, it was the lesser evil of the two
If you only knew how powerful that was.

So, I'm sorry you couldn't sleep at night
But just imagine if you had to poke a needle
In the one you love
Just to make her...
Make her feel alright.

If you only knew, and not imagine, how powerful that was.

Interstates and mile markers
Give credence to the old saying
Absence makes the heart...
...I wish it were true
Waving goodbye through the tinted glass of a cab
I don't blame you for, for never waving back
This inner state's constant reminders
Of our mistakes, all driveways are
Our driveways are...
...Connected by a series of roads
Just a pattern of turns
Is the key to this code
To see your face close enough to kiss
A block or a mile it doesn't matter how far
Your body rests
Love will get me where you are.
*...Somehow...

Hidden in the shadows of the trees
The crickets soft consistent swoon
It's gentle and floats with the breeze
It's only the moon and me

The humid July air
Adds yet another "X" in your mind
How many more days of sweat dripped hair?
How long 'til my sordid winter's love affair?

Until I am released from the guilt
Of being inside "wasting" my day
A policed perception's tilt
When it's cold you all feel this way

Never wanting to see light
Dreading weather's daily plight
The only difference you from I
Is the cold I feel in mid-July

There are no roses left to give
More is a habit you are forced to forget
A glass house you are made to live
You've made this bed
But you can't fall asleep in it

Day breaks under the heaviness of night
This house shakes with a fluttered tongue's plight
Stuck 'neath my feet are shells colored white
Every word spoken lends more heat than light

I am morphing from beast to child
Accepting numb in exchange of my guile
Remembering the West, dangerous and wild
As I clutch the throne expelling my own bile

Transitions have never come easy
Introductions weren't always my best
Getting stuck somewhere in the middle
Must be where I belong
Like the weight felt deep in my chest

I am the clay you grasp with your hands
I am a mold made to fit your demands
I'll be whatever you want me to
I'll be the needle's eye you're pulling thread through

You all promised it'd be better
You told me there won't be any more fear
I should have listened to my doubt
Cuz now I see it was yourself you were talking about