my mind is a painter, thinking of colors in the form of stories and scenes
thinking about the brightest of city lights  
streets teeming with foreign language
people passing by with stories i'll never know
silent seas along the coastlines
mountains towering above us, old and wise
cabins in the forest with little firesides  
trains full of strangers to fall in love with
airports with people, greetings and goodbyes
postcard-perfect towns and friendly rivers
neighborhoods showered with pretty autumn leaves...

these are the stories painted in my head, the stories i'd love to paint with my own hands.
the places i'd love to see when i'm alone in my bedroom, the stories i want to see for myself.
and sometimes, i fear i'll never reach these works of art,
but with a brush and some paint, what's impossible?

because we're not quite there yet
or at least that's what you tell me when I ask how
you feel
I never know exactly when that moment is
or when it will be or
if we'll ever even make it that far
but I'd like to think
we will

my only proof being
our sunday mornings
between grey sheets and
laying in until noon,
laughing
the saturdays before them and
my inability to fall asleep
how I would much rather stay
awake with you
than give in to the tired I am
I am certain
that I could spend all of my weekends like
this

your laugh against mine
like words against a concerto
unconventional yet
somehow beautiful
my hands poking at ribcage
to find the spots where
you become vulnerable
how I am it,
always

the way my body fits
perfectly into the curve of
yours like the smile I cannot stop
wearing
like the dress that hugs the hips you
love so much
how my chin is your favorite hill I have
and how I become an entire valley
at your touch

I don't know what else to say
I'd like to think that time
will write the rest
for us

I don't love you
not yet
but I'm on my way,
I know it.

We lied there, between her sheets,
finger painting on each others skin.
and then she kissed me for the first

time after we- and that is when I knew,
that her love was the kind of love that burns
as it travels down your throat

And all I could taste were the lovers in her past,
the hearts that she broke,
and I knew that if I stayed my heart

would burn amongst theirs, so...
I did what I do best.
I gathered up my clothes that fell

on to the ground an hour before we-
I walked to the door and twisted the
glass stained ****

and left

That morning when I woke upon
my sheets. I kissed my darling, promised,
girl next to me and tasted

nothing

I hope you never know how much pain you’ve caused.
I still defend you with my every breath.
The hope I entertained, it now is lost:
All of the hopes of you, I put to death.
There is no reason now for me to stay.
This anger burns hotter than I can scream.
And now, all I wish to do is escape
Because, with you, I cannot feel my dreams.
I longed for what I used to think was real,
But now I know that love is just a lie.
So now I’ll let you go, and I will heal
And wait for someone else to show me why
Love is not wrong, misplaced, or worthless, see—
But love like that can’t happen now for me.

You're afraid of loss

I understand

but if it's loss you're trying to find from me

I'm sorry to say

your fears I must disband.

You won't be lost

and I won't lose you

I promise,

not now,

not ever,

you could never see

what you mean to me

but this is enough

this is alright.