I wanted to tell you for quite some time
not everything had been fine
it’s been awhile since we last spoke
when you read this i really hope you don’t choke

it’s been like this for years
always full to the brink with tears

how would i have ever been able to tell you
every month i get chills
when i come home and see the pile of unpaid bills

always wondering if there would be enough to eat
when there was never any money, i couldn’t sleep

how would i have ever been able to tell you
whenever i was with you i felt safe
somehow you were able to open the gate (that is me)
when nobody else had bothered to look for the key

how would i have ever been able to tell you
that i’ve been really sick
my mind had been playing tricks
i tell myself i’m ugly and fat
i already know you would have said “please don’t believe that”

how would i have ever been able to tell you
when my brother would get angry he would punch me
i typically would lunge (on the floor to avoid it)

how would i have ever been able to tell you
my mother tells me i am unwanted
when i try to get help i get taunted
always wondering if would get a proposition
to get out of this position

but tonight i’ve had enough
of teachers telling me “you are dumb”
i’m sick and tired of walking around like and idiot
and i know i’m about to do something hideous

and if you were still there, you could have shown me that you cared
but i’ve really had my fair share (of this world)
*goodbye

i hate you both
dad to me your nothing but a ghost
mom ever since i was 13 i've been crying myself to sleep
you have not once payed attention to me, never even heard me weep

all you've ever noticed are my ***** up
and i know at times i could be corrupt

over and over
reminded my about my failing grades,
which led me to begin bringing out my blade

when i told you (mom) i was depressed
you laughed at me, and said you don't even know anything about stress, how could you be depressed?

and dad what on earth happened to you
you always seem to go insane
never bothering to call
always leave me wondering where you are
you're always sick because of your daily "one too many drinks"
i used to get disappointed
but now i've learned to expect nothing less of you

wandering aimlessly through the halls
or tears in the bathroom stall
did anyone see her fall?
no, no one at all
she's not that tall
you see the way she hides between the walls
it's not ok
what you say makes her feel like ****
you would never admit
so she stays alone
it's easier than let them know